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How to talk to a guy you don't know?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by justinishere, May 28, 2009.

  1. justinishere

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    So everytime I crush on a guy, everyone on EC encourages me to go talk to them to see if there is a "spark". Most of the guys I have crushes on, I know nothing about, who they are, what they like, etc. Basically they are a good looking stranger.

    So besides the normal things like "Hi" how do you approach a guy you don't know, for example, at school? I don't want to go overboard and try hitting on them either! lol because someone got in trouble for that :lol:

    So I guess question is... how do you approach and talk to a guy you know nothing about? Kinda scary for a first timer here!

    Thanks! (!)
     
  2. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    You just do it.

    Try sitting or standing, or being within close proximity and examine them. Look for pop culture that may be nearby or on them and talk about it.

    For example, someone with a Miley Cyrus shirt probably likes Miley Cyrus--so start up a random convo on how great she is. Or if wearing a Death Note shirt, strike up a "How awesome is Death Note, am I right?!" convo.
     
  3. joeyconnick

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    If you're both at the same school, it should be simple: you just say something about the school. Like "What are you taking?" "Have you ever had a class with so-and-so?" "Isn't so-and-so the best/worst?"

    Small talk is not really difficult... you talk about general things that everyone has an opinion on. That's why "So, how about the weather?" is a cliche, or "How about those <local sports team>?" You can ask about movies, current events, etc. If the person is remotely interested, they will hold up their part of the conversation. If they don't, it might just be that's they're shy, so you might have to do more work.

    It's totally a skill you can develop, too... you'll get better with practice. That's why some people are really good at parties: they know how to start and sustain a conversation with strangers.
     
  4. Dare2bProud

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    I somehow have the same problem. I usually somehow find them on Facebook and start talking to them ... but I feel as if that's a cop out. There's a guy I have a crush on right now and I added him to my facebook .. I never know if its moving to fast if we talk for awhile and I ask to get together. How fast is too fast? I never seem to have a handle on that and I don't read guys very well.
     
  5. Doreibo

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    Try and find some common ground. Something you both like. Ultimately if it hits off it is because you two are compatible. If it doesn't then maybe it isn't meant to be. Just keep it cool and don't get over exited or flustered. Imagine it as if it was just making friends, then move on form there. How did you meet your current friends and how did you guys get together and make your friendship? It's pretty much the same thing. One step at a time. Friendship, THEN love.
     
  6. malachite

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    Try to find things you might have in common. Teachers you hate or like, classes that you have together. I'm not saying stalk the guy, but see what is interestes are. Listen when he talks to people. What is he into? Anything you're into aswell?
     
  7. hikari979

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    If I want to talk to a guy, I tend to wait until he is in a group of people, and if somebody I know is in that group, I go and talk to that person. Then I try to bring the guy into the coversation, by asking opinions, thoughts, etc. That way, it is not awkward, because you're not really approaching a stranger.
     
  8. Lexington

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    There's a general rule for talking to people you don't know.

    1. Find your common ground.
    2. Talk about - or, better yet, ask questions about - your common ground.

    So let's take an example. You find you're a bit interested in a guy in your math class. That's your common ground. Use it.

    "I think I made a mistake choosing this class - 9 am is too early for algebra."
    "Were you here in class yesterday? I don't supposed you took notes, did you? I didn't quite understand what the teacher was talking about."
    "What'd you think of that last test? I thought it'd be really easy, but it was tough as nails (or vice versa)."

    Lex
     
  9. Zane

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    Hi, I'm new here :/

    But I'm also facing the same problem! Help? He's a junior and I'm a freshman and the only class I have with him is band...so...help? I'm super shy, it's hard for me to talk to people in real life...
     
  10. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC! The rules haven't changed in the last three or four years. :slight_smile:

    1. Find your common ground.
    2. Talk about - or, better yet, ask questions about - your common ground.

    "This new piece is a lot tougher than the last one."
    "Just wanted to say you did a great job at the last performance."

    ...I never took band, so I'm sort of vaguely guessing at stuff you coud say. But you get the idea. :slight_smile:

    Lex