This probably sounds really dumb, but... Every time i go into the gay village, i get really nervous. And its not like im thinking "Oh craaap my mom/aunt/grandparent/other relative or friend is gonna see me, its just out-of-the-blue fear for no reason whatsoever. I cant even go into the Starbucks there without having a panic attack. Anyone have any suggestions on how i could get over my irrational fear?
Hmm, im sure its tied to not being fully out. Im not sure how out you are yet, but going to the gay village definitely would have been scary for me before i was out. The constant fear of someone seeing me might drive me away from going. One good thing is that you called your fear irrational. You know it does not make sense yourself. Thats a good thing Maybe just make a plan to go once a week / every other week or something like that? Force yourself into a schedule to keep you doing and hope it gets slightly more comfortable every time? That and im sure the more people you tell the easier it gets.
or maybe you're confusing fear with excitement, you're finally around your own kind so to speak, and theres a possibility that they will recognize you..in a good way--whether i'm right or wrong i say just go there more often and get used to it, what could happen?
Yes - just keep going. It will get less and less weird as time goes by. It would be better to go with someone else too - rather than alone. A lot of emotion - good and bad - might be hitting you when you're there. Having some company will keep you grounded and less in your head.
Aw, don't worry about that. If they're there, they're friendly, right? I had the same feeling when I visited the GLBT community centers at the universities I visited during during the admit weekends. I thought, what if someone sees me?! And you know what... at MIT, one of the frat brothers from the fraternity I was staying at walked in. I panicked for a second, then realized that he was gay/bi/friendly. I was able to talk to him about being gay in a fraternity, and it was a really great conversation. Also, I met a kid whom I later saw at the Stanford GLBT community resource center, and we were able to compare the two schools. Don't worry about being seen.
That's a great Starbucks, the employees are really nice in that one I remember the first time I was there I was on "business" (and I wasn't out at all), but I still looked around like "Wow, there's a pride flag in the Tim Hortons window!". I guess I understand your fear a bit, but I would echo the suggestions of going there more often (especially now that Ste-Catherine is closed to cars ) and getting used to it. It's really nice and friendly. And do you have people to go with? That could help. If you see someone indesirable, you can always tell them you're there for school or work or whatever.
