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Going to ask him

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by misterdinkles, May 29, 2009.

  1. misterdinkles

    Regular Member

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    I haven't been on this website for about a year and am glad to see it's still up! I just wanted to ask for anyone's opinion about my situation. It's your classic "I like a guy and don't know if he's gay or straight" deal. I concluded that the only way to know for sure and to STOP agonizing about the issue is to just ask him straight out (haha). Our school year is almost over, too, so if he's interested, I don't want circumstances to change over the course of the summer. Anyway, I just had a logistical question about how I should ask this guy if he's gay or not. I figure there are 4 basic things that need to be said:

    1) I'm gay.
    2) I like you.
    3) Are you gay?
    4) Do you like me?

    I just don't know what order to ask them in and how to combine them.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. Ralf

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    if i were you, i wouldn't do anything,
    i have done this MANY, MANY times with straight guys, and to be honest, they are better as friends.
    if you really want to know, watch his body language when he's around you, that's what i do :wink:
    but seriously, it seems really important, but if he's straight, you're wasting your time! that's what you need to face, if he is straight.
    just let it pass. and you're still in school!!!!
    you have plenty of time to find someone!
     
  3. -Michael-

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    Yeah, just ask him if he's gay first.

    Saying you like him is a bit on coming.

    Ask him.
    If he says yes, then you ask him the rest...

    Otherwise you might creep him out.
     
  4. Kizz

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    id you do want to ask him, I'd personally suggest 3, 1, 2, 4 :wink:
     
  5. Just Adam

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    i agree with sean
     
  6. Steve

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    asking some one if he is gay will ussaly put them on the defence and on denial...

    best way Imo is to go and tell him your gay

    if he is gay and intereted in you he will at the least tell you he is gay aswell

    if he does not tell you that he is gay then he either is NOT gay or scared of coming out but entaully will

    you can also look at the reaction when you tell him.

    thats imo the best choice
     
  7. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    I would judge his body language first and get it down. I know the school year is almost ended but rushing off and telling him your feelings may hurt you more. Especially if you don't know his orientation 100%. And sometimes we may *think he's gay only because we want to. But, it's up to you.

    Just be prepared for the consequences, regardless of the outcome.
     
  8. Maddy

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    Welcome back :grin:
    Do you have reason to think that he might be gay? How well do you know him? If you're friends, it shouldn't be too hard to steer the conversation in the direction of sexuality and get his opinions on the matter (starting with talking about others, gay celebrities and whatnot, not jumping into asking him). If you're not friends, then I'd say that'd be the best place to start, by getting to know him.
     
  9. acorn7

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    I think that order's the best :wink:

    Welcome back! For your guy, if he's gay and at least a bit out, I assume his best friends know? IF it's possible, it'd try subtlely trying to find out if he is before talking directly to him. Do your friends know his friends, do you know his friends? (I like to do my research.)

    If that's not an option, I suggest to first come out to him, see if he is too, and take it from there. Test the waters before asking the big question.