Basically I want to know what you think about my situation...because I don't even understand it. Have you ever been in something like this? and if you have what was the outcome? Here is my story, almost 9 years ago I moved to Boston and met this brother and sister Mike and Shannon. I immediately became friends with Mike and we got really close...REALLY CLOSE. We were intimate with each other on many occasions but we were not a couple or anything we were just horny teenagers. I knew I was gay but we both said we were straight (he claims he still is to this day and we have not spoken in years) Not to long after his sister and I started talking, and we became best friends and then we became a couple. Maybe a year or two after dating I figured I trust her so much I am going to tell her my secret so we sat down and I said "Shannon I am gay" and she looked at me and said "It's weird you say that because so am I". On to the confusing part now. Me and Shannon live together now, we both know each other is gay, we have no sexual desire for one another, she tells me about hot girls she wants and I tell her how I would :***: Chris Pine in a heart beat, but yet I love her with all my heart and she loves me with all her heart. Everyone we know see's us as a couple and we are...CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO ME BECAUSE I AM SOOO CONFUSED!!! I am GAY for sure no doubt in my mind, what so ever but yet I am dating a lesbian. Not only that but she does not want to be with anyone other than me and I feel the same way. :help:
I think people often confuse emotional caring and closeness with romantic closeness, and it's understandable because sometimes the lines between the two are blurred. You can have very close, emotionally intimate friends that you care very deeply for but simply have no sexual attraction to, and it sounds like this is the relationship you have with Shannon. There's nothing weird or wrong or unusual about it. People insist on putting people into boxes. "You're straight" "You're gay". It often doesn't work like that, and the generation of people in their teens and early 20s is, I think, the first generation that really seems to get this and not be bothered by it. Even sexual attraction is on a continuum, and it's possible for guys to be pretty much straight (i.e., sexually attracted to women) but still enjoy masturbating or having some other sexual activity with other guys now and then. I don't think having a very close lesbian friend in any way means that you're not gay, if you find that your sexual attractions and fantasies are to men. I'd say just relax and enjoy the fact that you have an enviably wonderful connection with someone who cares about you as much as you do about them
:eusa_clap Wow thank you so much for the reply, you are right I should just relax and enjoy it. For some reason I seem to need a rhyme or reasoning for everything in my life and after your comment it made me realize that thats just not the way life works and I should just enjoy what I have not question it. Thank you!
Lots of people form close bonds with people they're not intimate with (or not intimate with anymore). I'd say just don't call yourself a "couple" anymore, as it would require a lot of qualifications. Just say you're amazing friends, and leave it at that. Lex
This sounds like me and my best friend, except she's straight. People may define you for themselves, but never settle with believing them. Listen first to yourself when defining yourself!
