Hi everyone, I am out to a few people, but it has never been through my own doing. For 2 people, I accidently linked them to the wrong website (oops...), one of whom is my best friend. The others know because they asked me straight up. I can't ever seem to bring up the topic, and I will definitely skate around it to give wrong impressions to cover my tracks. :eusa_liar Even with people I know will be supportive or other gay friends, there just seems to be this barrier I can't cross. Just wondering if anyone had a few tips to help me take these first few steps. I am getting tired of hiding myself, and I think it's time for a relationship! Reed
well i would just be honest i mean if you now that some are friends with oter gay what make you think they wont exect you just be true to yourself and good luck my friend
Oh Mr. Fantastic don't worry. If your friends were supportive of their other friends then they'll most likely support you as well. I also have trouble bringing it up. I never told a single person in person. Everyone I told was through text or IM. It can be dreadfully frightening even when you know the person will support you. I was terrified to tell my dad more then anyone, my dad is gay. So as scary as it may seem you just got to push through it if you really feel ready because it is so much better once you have. Just because you don't have to watch you say anymore, etc. As for the relationship part, I am clueless there sorry. Never had anyone myself, so...yeah. Perhaps a gay youth club, or PFLAG or something along those lines. They could also help you with the coming out. OH see two birds one stone.
Don't worry! Coming out to any one, especially if it is the first few people, is a VERY big step. One I myself haven't gone through. It makes sense that you can't bring it up first because it is such a big thing. More often than not, I get to thinking, boyfriend first, THEN letting the pieces fall into place. That way you don't have to bring it up. Now finding a boyfriend without coming out. . .hmm. . . maybe asking some one who has already come out? I don't know. I think you might have more experience here than me. >_<
Try to relax about it. It sounds like many of your friends would be supportive which is wonderful. I have come out to a few friends and. Have found the best way to get myself to actually tell them is to almost trap yourself. If you can manage to get out a " I have something big I need to share", if your friends are like mine, they won't let you drop it until you tell them. I have found that t be a good way to stop myself from backing out. I wish you the best of luck. The first few people are usually he hardest, so it will probably only get easier from here. Plus, you have those friends that already know who canhelp you through if things don't go as planned( plus you always have us too) good luck with everything!
Hi there! As you know, and have experienced, coming is out is not easy. But as it was said and as you become more comfortable with the idea of coming out and with yourself, it does become easier. Pepsi, mentioned joining or trying to find LGBT groups and/or a PFLAG chapter which you could join. I think that would be a good idea as being among others who have gone through it and being able to talk to others about it, might help you to overcome some of your fears and anxiety. I think on your intro thread you mentioned that you are in grad studies. Does your college/uni have a LGBT group on campus? If so, maybe try joining them for a meeting or try contacting someone to meet up (if you haven't done so). What could also help, is to remind yourself that most (if not all) of your friends will be and are supportive. Remember, you are trying to let go of something, that at times has the habit of stirring up fears because it reminds you that not talking about it, is the safest way to go about it. Trying to reinforce that friends are supportive and perhaps positive things could come from coming out, could help you somewhat in overcoming that. When you try coming out, maybe take a friend or the person to whom you want to come out to, aside. Invite him/her for a coffee or go for a walk, where you have some privacy. Having the feeling of being in control of the situation and having your friend's full attention can help. When you do decide to come out to friend, before you say anything, take a deep breath and remind yourself, 'it's going to be okay.' Maybe start the coming out by saying 'there is something important I want to tell you about myself....' and take it from there. Now as for having a relationship or finding a boyfriend, maybe take it one step at a time. Maybe try coming out a couple of times, and maybe do try to join a LGBT group. In many ways joining a LGBT group actually could help you on both counts: coming out and finding someone.
I was in the same boat not 4 months ago. I knew I was gay, I knew everyone would be cool with it, but I just couldn’t come to terms with it. I’m exactly sure why. Maybe I was afraid of having to define myself. Maybe it’s the same with you. The important thing is to be comfortable with yourself before you worry about what other people are going to think. Good luck out there
