I have a slight dilemma. This past weekend confirmed a few suspicions I held about my dad. I ended up coming home early on Sunday since my pool team was knocked out of the tourney pretty early in the day. Now normally I would've called my dad and said "hey we lost I'll be home in X amount of time", but since my cell is turned off right now I couldn't exactly do that. I got home and closed the door, I ended up turning around just in time to see him darting across the upstairs area from the room with the comp to his room. I have held a belief that he did cross dress on occasion for about the past year now, mostly due to some of the products I've seen him buy. I really had my suspicions quasi-confirmed last year while on vacation he was in some swim shorts and I noticed his legs were smooth like if they had been shaved. Mostly my suspicions arose due to his actions though. Then as stated earlier everything was confirmed this past Sunday by accident/bad timing. My dilemma doesn't lie with the fact that he does that, since I could really care less, but with how to tell him that I'm okay with it. I know he has to be feeling a huge amount of embarrassment about this. Since it happened he has been acting sorta like it never happened, he hasn't tried to make an excuse about it or anything of that sort. I guess I'm just sorta stuck on how to bring it up and say that I'm okay with it, any help that you fine folks of EC can provide will be much appreciated. Also on a not completely unrelated note, does anyone think that our discussion about this would be a bad time to tell my dad that I'm bi??? Thanks again in advance for any help/advice that you guys and gals are willing to provide.
Heh, actually, when I came out to my dad, that's when he took the opportunity to tell me he's a crossdresser, so I'd say it's not completely out of place in the conversation. I suppose it depends on whether or not he's just embarrassed about it, or if he's actually ashamed of it. But it seems to me like it'd be a good way of saying, "I trust you enough to tell you about me, you can trust me too." I'm not sure if I'd lead in by asking him about crossdressing, since he may put up the defensive. I'd be inclined to start by sharing something personal about you first (like, oh, "Hey Dad, I'm bisexual", hehe), and then maybe asking him about it, so it seems more like you are sharing and you have your guard down too, and you're not just prying. But it could be that my own experience is making me say that, since it's how it worked for me. =P Hopefully some others will have some good input for you, too. As someone who's been there, I wish you all the best!
Thanks ghostdog, the only flaw with that is that im scared shitless to tell my dad about me, stupid i know given the situation.
It is not stupid. No matter the situation, actually getting yourself to come out to your parents seems to be difficult for everyone. My parents i know would be accepting, but i am still frightened to tell them. It is just a big part of to that has been hidden for a long time. Even if it is a positive change, it can still be scary. Just try to relax, breathe, and if you feel ready, go for it. My best wishes! ( I agree with ghost dog's advice as long as you think he is accepting of himself, coming out at the same time would be good!)
Go to a drag show and tell your dad how cool you are with drag. Or talk about wanting to check out a drag show because it looks like fun. And for the record, shaved legs don't mean all that much. I shave my legs during cycling season because I hate wearing cycling shorts on hairy legs (and I like how my legs look shaved).
You're an adult. Your dad is an adult. You presumably love each other. So... be honest with him. He's likley feeling sick about this - and needn't feel that way at all. And that 'elephant' is going to be in the room a long time - until someone mentions it. It might as well be you. Because the fact of the matter is, you DO know about his cross dressing. It isn't a secret any more - and he doesn't need to feel ashamed of it any more either. Assure him that you won't talk about it with anyone else, but that you're OK with it yourself. And while you're having this incredibly uncomfortable conversation, you might as well bring up the fact that you're bi. Good luck!
Just tell him. "Dad, I'm totally cool with you crossdressing. It's no big deal." And if you've got the balls, add "And since it isn't fair that I know your big secret and you don't know mine, I'm bisexual." Lex
I like Lex's advice.(he's sooooo smart!) This is actually a great opportunity to come out. I don't think your dad will take it bad. You know about him,now let him know about you! All the best and (if you do this) let us know how it went. Good luck!
Hi there! As other members have already said, just let your dad know that it is okay and that you yourself are totally okay with it and that it is going to remain between the two of you. I think this is a perfect opportunity to come out to him and share with him your 'secret.' If anything, the conversation that you will have with your dad, should bring you two closer. If and when you decide to talk with him, why not just say what Lex mentioned and take it from there:
thank you for your responses everyone I appreciate it, and Lex what you said maid me lol a bit. I guess I'm just going to have to pull the trigger and say something instead of tiptoeing around the elephant in the room.
Honestly, it's funny. I see this sort of exchange on these boards a lot. OP: How do I tell this person such and such? LEX: You go up to person and say "Person, such and such." ECer: Listen to Lex! He's so smart! Yeah, real genius at work there. But seriously, do it. I know some families who live forever in that "we just don't talk about things" territory, and it always seems to cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings and confusion. Best to just get that shit out in the open. Deal with it once, and then you're done dealing with it. Lex
That's funny lex, but for right now it's just a matter of waiting till he gets home from work and having a few minutes to talk to him. Thanks again Lex. When I talk to him I will post how it goes.
:roflmao:Well Lex perhaps you're not a genius for stating the obvious...but you are one hell of a comedian, your posts are awesome. On the actual original post. I think that like everyone has already said...this is a great opportunity to come out. But its entirely up to you if you feel you're ready. At any rate I definitely think you should say something to your dad about what you saw because otherwise it will be awkward for you whenever you're around him and visa versa. I guarantee he is absolutely shitting it about bringing it up with you. Just say, "dad about the other day when I came home early, I'm sorry I didnt ring ahead. Can we talk about it?". I'm not sure what kind of a relationship you have with your dad, so I guess how you approach this all depends on if you guys are really close or not. Either way I definitely think you shuld talk to him about it. Maybe write your thoughts down in an email and send it to him and put a readers receipt on it so you know when he's read it. Then the boat is in his hands and if he wants to talk to you he will. Goodluck Nicxxx
I like your email idea, but since I was the one to set it up for him and I've had to show him like 3 or 4 time already how to get into it :dry: I don't know how well that would work. I will have to do something though because he and I are pretty close so I definitely don't want this to cause any friction between us, although we hung out all of Sunday afternoon like normal.
Hope all goes well when you do talk with him. Don't forget to take deep breaths! Given that you guys are close I think the sooner you can talk with him the better it will be. Good luck!
