This is Unhealthy

If he's straight, then yes, you're right. You're not in his category, and he will never go for a guy like you.

If he's not straight, that's utter bullshit. Last time I checked, there wasn't a caste system in place in Indianapolis. He is not out of your league. Every gay man is in your league. You have no idea what he's into, or what he looks for in a guy, or what he might be interested in. Even if his last boyfriend was hot, muscular, and a Rhodes scholar, he might simply not have clicked with him...and there's nothing to say that you won't be the one to click with him.

This isn't to say that he's going to go for you. But why take yourself out of the running before finding out?

Lex

 

Well, if he is straight you're right, he is not in your category and you'd better forget about him. But if he isn't straight, there is no reason for kicking yourself out of the race.
I am going to tell you a little story :
The first time I met my husband (10 years ago, dear me...) he was with is girlfriend who were absolutly gorgeous, and blond and thin, all these things that I were not (and I'm still not by the way).
All the thing I could think of was : I want her boyfriend and her shoes (she had wonderful shoes).
A few months later, my now husband and her broke up. And instead of thinking, I'm not blond and thin, I would never had a chance, I bought the shoes and I did what it takes to catch the guy. And even if I'm not blond and thin, guess who married him ? Me !
So instead of beating yourself up, go and buy a pair of shoes (maybe without hight heals but it's up to you)
Take care, Eleanor

 

i'm kinda goin through the same thing although i'm not depressed. i'm kinda just sad because there is this guy at school who i have a crush on. we talk but not a whole lot. he doesn't know about me being well possibly gay and well he's unfortunately straight. although i sometimes feel he might be possibly gay, but maybe that's just me wishin he was. *sigh*

 

You don't. All you can do is be yourself, he's either interested or he isn't. You can view that as a positive or a negative thing.

I once got 'involved' with the kind of guy that was good looking and he knew it and wasn't shy about telling people if they matched his standards (or not) when they approached him. If I'd approached him and asked him out I'm sure I'd have come away thinking he was a rude, self-obsessed :***: but I didn't. I assumed he was out of my league. We were friends nothing more until he wanted to be more than friends. I really wasn't expecting that! I learned two things from that experience:

1. Don't assume anyone is out of your league.
2. The guys that are good looking, know it and make very quick judgements of people by how they look really are very insecure and unhappy.

Which is exactly what everyone else has said

 

It's not a competition. Just be yourself and if he is interested he'll let you know.
Another thought about "beign the chaser" : I remember I had a conversation with some of my male friends when we were late teens/young adults. They were basicaly saying that they had no idea about what to do to let a girl know they like her (they were straight friends) and so, they usualy didn't do anything and the girls usualy ended up with someone else. I understand it is very flattering having beign the one who is chased, but I think beign the chaser is better than beign the one who doesn't even try and ended up alone.
Even if in the end, he is not interested, at least you woudn't have to leave with the idea of what could have happened if you would have tried.
Take care, Eleanor

 

If you know he's gay, and you don't want him to get away, do something. You don't want time to pass and to find out later on that you could have had something with him and you were both too scared to do anything about it. What's the worst that can happen if you ask him out? Even if he says no, that'll just mean you'll know his thoughts on the matter, and knowing either way is better than not knowing at all - if it turns out he's not interested, you can work on moving on. Not knowing means that you're caught in limbo. You're thinking "why would he go for me?", but in the same vein, why would he go for any of the others? I know there's something special about you - there is about everyone. And who's to say he won't see it?

 

+1

Good luck!

 

You may stand out to him by being the only one who doesn't seem to be trying to get with him, you never know. Just be yourself, as cheesy as that sounds, and don't be too aggressive. But don't hesitate to ask him to do hang out if it seems like you two might click!

 

>>>Yeah. He's not straight. He's gay. I don't know. There's a part of me that feels like I need to start being chased, I'm always the chaser, however,

If you're thirsty, you can sit around waiting for someone to get you some water, or you can go get yourself some water. Guess which one is more likely to cure your thirst.

Lex

 

How about you just ask him out for coffee,lunch or whatever? That way,it's not an official date,yet you can get to know him better. Like has been said,you don't know until you try.
Good luck!

 

I sort of know this feeling. I had a huge crush on a really good looking guy when I was at school. He sat at a table near where I sat during lunch, and I always fawned over him but couldn't bring myself to say anything to him. Later it turned out we became classmates, but when we talked it's because I was asking him stuff about the rave scene. He was pretty friendly when we talked, but I knew he had a girlfriend, even though a friend of mine told me he's bi.

Long story short, he eventually dropped out of school and I feel that I didn't get a chance to get to know this guy. So in your situation, take a deep breath and give it a chance; suggest that the two of you get to know each other better and hang out, or get some food together. I don't know though, this is the advice I would give to my past self, so don't quote me on that this will work.

 

That's happened to me far too many times myself. Getting to barely know someone and having a Texas sized crush on them. Yet, somehow I move away or they do and we never speak again. It's heartwrenching and you never really forget it.

Take that chance honey.
Give it your all

 

Maybe. Is this your first time going out with him? If so, maybe going with a group is a good thing. Sit next to him and get to know him better. Move on to more personal topics. Get more friendly with him and then take him out on an actual "date."

My 2 cents.