So I dated a guy 2 years ago and lost my virginity to him. I was so in love with him but he left me for another guy. About 8-10 months later after he and that guy broke up I started seeing him again we didnt date but we had sex and hung out. About 2 months into that he left me for ANOTHER guy. So in december i decided to get back with him and we have been back together for about 6 months now. He is telling me that he doesnt want to be with me again and how he likes another guy. I really dont think I can deal with losing him one more time. It is really gonna kill me. I have only had sex with him, I cant imagine sex with anyone else. He has had sex with quite a few people. I dont know what to do. Can anyone give me advice I'm going nuts crying and freaking out because he means everything to me.
Step 1) Step 2) No need for step two, since you have now "Gotten the fuck out" of your horrible relationship Its quite normal for this to happen. You have obviously fallen deeply for this guy, and thats reasonable seeing as you shared something so special and emotional with him. The only thing is, he DOES NOT want you. He is using you as a "Safty net" to fall into any time he is between guys. If he does not have someone to fuck around with, he will always come back to you. He knows you will be there for him, and thats wrong because he is using you! This guy could not care less about you. Zero. None. Zip. You could die tomorrow and he might not care. No one who loves someone, even a little bit, could break his heart over and over by leaving him for another guy. Please, break it off with this guy. Tell him your DONE being his tool. You are your own special person and you deserve MORE and BETTER than him! (*hug*) I see this happen alot to my friends. They love someone, that person does not love them back but uses there love for personal gain. Its a sad and old story. Please, please, PLEASE, GTFO of this relationship. Its a trainwreak waiting to happen.
greggers said it all...i would also say and its not nice but if you havent allready i would get tested ... as he has been sleeping around and you dont know if hes used protection or what ...get checked and get the hell away from him hes a user he uses you as a shag when he wants he obviouslly has no feelings for you . you deserve someone who will love you there are lots of guys out there who would be lucky to have someone whos as commited to a relationship as you and has the capacity to care so much... find someone good for you x
I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but the relationship is most likely over. He's just going to keep on cheating on you, and my guess is that by telling you he wants someone else, he's hoping that you'll end the relationship so he don't have to. I've been with someone who treated me like that, although the relationship never went anywhere physically - she would take me back when she felt like it'd benefit her, then drop me when someone new came along, and it just about destroyed me. I know how much you love him, but he's not going to change, he's not going to become the boyfriend you deserve. He sure as hell doesn't deserve you if he's treating you that badly.
I know I should get over it and just say fuck him but its so fucking hard. He is going to be able to walk away from this relationship and be happy. I on the other hand will be miserable and cry about him for months just like every other time. He called me about 10 minutes ago and said he wants to take a break to evaluate our relationship. So I wont see or talk to him for like a week. I just dont even know what to do. I dont want to go through losing him again and be miserable.
This sounds harsh, but you already have lost him. He's ended the relationship and made his position clear. If you keep holding on to the relationship, he's going to keep using you and hurting you. Believe me, I know how hard it is (*hug*) But he's not going to change and become a loving boyfriend to you. Someday, you'll find someone who loves you for who you are and won't treat you the way that he's been, and he'll most likely keep up with this string of meaningless hookups. Eventually, you're going to come out on top.
DUMP the bitch. Dont let him get the satisfaction. Call him out on being a tool and using you. Call him out on dumping you to find someone better multiple times. Call him out on not treating you like he should. Why should HE get to dump YOU for some new guy? You do it to him. Maybe try the single life for awhile. You have had a bad experience and maybe just having some "you time" could help. You should not have to cry over him. Its like crying over losing your overdue jug of milk. It was bad anyways, so why be sad its gone?
Here are the facts: 1.You're seventeen 2.You lost virginity to him 3.You love him, and not just love him, it's this being seventeen, loosing virginity to the guy love 4.He doesn't care for you 5.He is using you 6.I'm sorry to say this, but it could be anyone else instead of you 7.You deserve better So here's the difficult part: What ever you do, don't get back together with him. DO NOT have sex with him. Some can have sex without emotional attachment. You are not that kind of person (now, anyways). It will hurt, you will feel like shit, but get over him. There are many, many guys who will actually care about you. And later you'll be older = stronger, smarter. Tell him that you agree on taking a break. And then dump him for a change. And do not take him back no matter what he says. Spend time with other people. Enjoy being single. Try not to fall for the first guy that you meet, although it can be difficult being seventeen And if you do make mistakes, don't be too harsh on yourself. Nor let anyone else be harsh on you. You are allowed to do your own mistakes and learn from them. My first relationship (I was seventeen then) also was basically just sex. Ofc, I thought it's an actual relationship and that the guy cares about me and loves me. Ofc, I sort of had fallen in love. Luckily I realized quickly what's actually going on. So we broke up and that was one hell of a good decision. It made me smarter. I hope you will have the strength and courage to do the right thing for you. And that everything will turn out fine. echapper.
I am really sorry about what's happening to you (*hug*) and I understand it must be terribly painful. The thing is, the more you hold on to this kind of relationship, the more you will be hurt. Lets face the truth, that guy isn't in love with you and probably won't be whatever you do. The best thing you could do for yourself now is to accept it and let him go. Yes it is painful and yes it will be painful for a long while, but you'll better be alone than with somebody who use you. Take your time for grieving. You're perfectly entitleled to cry and scream and liten to sad song and burn his photographies and all that kind of stuff that anyone do in such a situation. But you have to let him go and to let go the hope you could be with him. One day, you'll realise you're over him and ready to find someone who will truly love and cherish you. Until there come here, rant anytime you need, get support from your friends and if you ever want to talk to me, you'll always be welcome to PM me anytime. I wish you all the courage in the world, (*hug*) Eleanor
So you said two years ago, and you're seventeen now? So, let me get this straight: you had sex with with someone (guessing he's at least 3-5 years your senior) at the age of 15? He's just using you. Not to use the famous quote but "He's just not that into you."
I'm not convinced many of us would be 'happy' behaving like that jerk. Would you want to live your life like him? I doubt it. So the grass isn't really all that much greener on the other side of this fence. And while I know you're bound to be sad and angry and hurt, nobody other than you is responsible for your emotions or your reactions to things. YOU are responsible for your emotions and your reaction to events. So... if you are miserable and cry about him for months, that's YOU'RE choice. I know that's easier said than done, but it's true. They say that for people suffering from mild depression that they should smile, even if they don't want to smile, because just the act of smiling can make us feel better. When depressed you're likely sitting still, motionless, and taking shallow breaths. So make it a point to breath deeply - it actually makes a difference in how you feel. Similarly, it IS within your control to cry or to not cry. We all do it. (When you don't want to look like a blubbering fool at the movies, you keep yourself from crying even if you feel like it.) Choose not to cry. Choose to do something that will make you feel better, like going for a walk or getting some exercise. Calling a friend. Eating some ice cream. He can only make you feel miserable if you let him. In hindsight, you'll come to see that you're better off without him. But I don't expect you to see that now. Good luck.
That's not bad. In this case you're just having teen drama. joking! :icon_bigg However, if speaking seriously, I doubt that you are truly happy being with him. Could anyone be happy having to worry about being dumped any moment? No. Believe me (and everyone else on this thread) saying that you are better off without him. Keep us updated!
Some really insightful advice from everyone in this thread. And all saying pretty much the same thing. Here's one other piece I'll offer up. Maybe it fits, maybe it doesn't, but hopefully it will be helpful. If you're finding yourself so incredibly attached to this guy, when you know what a piece of shit he is (and apparently always has been), spend a little time asking yourself why you want HIM so much? My guess is there's some part of you, probably not conscious, that thinks you don't deserve any better. Of course, consciously, you know better... but the part of you deep inside, thinks that you somehow have to stick with losers like this. So just start consciously saying to yourself that you're a good person who deserves someone who loves you and cares about you... and as you say that enough, it gets through to your unconscious and your outlook starts to change... and soon enough, your attitude, and the people you attract also starts to change.
calchip, good point, it also might be the case. However, in my experiences for many ( that age ) it's the 'big love issue'. Still, it is a good idea to think why you want him so much. And then ask yourself whether it is really HIM you want or just SOMEONE in general. And then you might come to an conclusion that you might as well be with someone else, even more, you could be more happy with someone else.
