This year is my 10 year high school reunion. One of my former class mates tracked me down on Facebook and sent me the information. It is planed to be this fall, in late September. Here is the thing. High school was not a very pleasant experience for me. I went to a small school, my graduating class was 52 people. As such everyone knew everything, and rumors spread like wildfire. Even though I was not out then, a few people figured out I was gay and I caught hell for it. That and I never did really fit in. I really only had a couple of friends in high school. I tried to keep in touch, but never did. Really we were not that close of friends. I don't know if I want to go. If it was this summer I would likely go. As I would not mind catching up with a few people. Even if any of the people there have a problem with my sexuality, I am strong enough now to deal with it. The problem is that is this fall. As I mentioned in my thread over in the Anonymous section. I am trying to figure out my gender identity. I am just starting to explore my true identity. I don't know where things are going to go. A part of me would like to go. Another part of me says that the past needs to be left in the past. Where it belongs. I'm just not sure what to do. As I need to send my replies to the questionnaire fairly soon.
Personally, i would not go if i was in your shoes. (*hug*) I know what your getting at, i was in a class of 30 or 31 or some shit like that. Everyone knew if the person going to the bathroom was going number 1 or number 2. A similar situation has occurred with me. I have been invited back to my school for this years graduation class ceremony. Now again, like you, i dont think i would care if any of the people had a problem with my sexuality. That said, i know multiple people WILL have a problem with my sexuality. Im strong enough to say "fuck you!" but whats the point of walking into a lions den when you know there are going to be hungry lions, even if you can handle them? Its just a waste of time in my opinion. I think i may just be bias though. I hated my highschool so much that i spit and scream obscenities anytime the subject comes up. I almost ended my life over highschool and became just another statistic on a page. Its the darkest chapter of my life. I dont think ill ever go back. Why dig up old demons if you dont have to. The situation with you might be different though, so just evaluate it. 1. What do you think you might GAIN from going if anything? 2. What do you think you might LOSE from going if anything? 3. Are there more Cons than Pros if you weigh them? 4. Any consequences if you do not go? 5. Do you think you know for a fact many people will have a problem with your sexuality/identity? In the end though, im a big supporter of leaving the past in the past. I *really* dont like my past heh.
i would say to go and face the past demons that the place held for you face those that were horrid to you and stand proud of who you are a great well rounded person. but you have to figure out yourself if your comfortable going. you may think that you wont know where you are in a few months but things may become clearer and easyer by then aswell. i would say you may attend at the moment as you can allways say you cant make it later on if you feel you cant face it and as you said only a few people matter at all most you dont give a rats about take care x
The upside is that the person setting this up just CCed everyone on the email. So I have the email address of the few people I might want to reconnect with. You know exactly the environment that I am talking about Greggers. Everyone knew everything. As for your question. There are a few people that I would expect to have a problem with my orientation. But you what, fuck 'em. The thing I am concerned about I guess is my identity. I'll just lay it out. They knew Eric. They don't know Meeka. In fact right now I am the only one that knows Meeka, and I am just getting to know her. There are already a lot of people to introduce her to. Do I really need to plan on introducing her to 50 people in 3 or 4 months? I'm going to give this overnight, but thinking about it this way. I think I need to pass on the invitation.
(*hug*) Definitely. Think it over. If you need to pass, pass. Its ok, and i think we will all understand why. If you ever need to or want to talk, just PM me up honey. Im always here to help or just listen.
Oh come off it. People won't care! They've all moved on. At the most you'll get a...i knew it. Don't panic!
I agree. You are still trying to figure things out. You would want to be much more comfortable and accepting of your identity before going into a situation like a high school reunion where talking about your life (what you've been doing, how things are going now) is the number one topic.
Well, if it was just being gay, I'd agree with you (although not your tone). But he is totally questioning his gender identity now. Just like not coming out to the masses until you are comfortable with and accepting your gayness is a good rule, I think it's the same thing for what he's going through in terms of gender identity.
If I were in your shoes...i would totally go. I mean, wouldnt it be good to be able to go back there and face those demons and sort it out? ... clear the past and make everything more rounded off better? These people are older as well remember, they should have grown into some sort of maturity, hopefully! And if you don't go, won't you always wonder, what if...? What if you did go? what if you did face your demons? what if you did sort the past out? Im a strong believer that digging up the past is not bad, even if the past was, if there is a possibility to get some sort of good out of it. And what is there to loose? One one hand, you could sort things out, find out all the girls are fat and ugly now and the guys have beer-bellies and are smoking themselves to death, making you feel better. Or the worst thing is that they dont particularly like you...big deal! Its a little group of people who you're unlikely to ever even see again. So i believe you have nothing to loose, just something to gain. And most of these people won't have seen each other in 10 years either, they'll prob all be almost as nervous as you will be! Likely-hood is that even if they dont like you...they'll try and be polite about anything they dont like...its a high-school reunion...its not high-school again, they've grown up! Hope I helped you good luck either way! xx (*hug*)
Tonight I went out to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and enjoyed the nice evening out on the patio. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. I came to the conclusion that I am not going to attend. Right now I need to focus on the future. I sent this reply to person coordinating the reunion. I am glad that this came up though. As it got me to ask my self a lot of questions.
How do reunions work? I'd love to go to one or have at least thought about it before but I've never received an invite. Infact, I don't even know if mine is doing them. How do you find out about that?
I'd contact the people you were friends with and come out to them if you haven't already. If things go well, then go to the reunion! They can be ice breakers for you so you don't walk in a shock the heck out of everybody! Reunions are alot of fun and they get better the more you have. Funny, I have become friends with a girl who used to threaten to beat me up in high school because of our reunions. So you just never know!
