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Gay to Straight

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jack2009, Jun 14, 2009.

  1. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    Is transitioning from gay to straight even possible???

    I know this sounds like a horrible question (even stupid), but is there a small percentage of chance that this could be possible? I am hating myself again about being gay, and I thought I was fine about it and happy about the gay life...

    I heard not everyone is completely gay or straight, and that there's a slight chance to be more heterosexual....

    I think there's no way though, so maybe it's just a crazy question.
     
  2. Maddy

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    No, it's not. Every group you'll come across that claims to be able to "convert" or "rescue" people is talking absolute bullshit. People who go through those "conversion programs" come out the other end still gay, just even more closeted and in denial.
     
  3. Greggers

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  4. Nitro

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    I would devote more attention to the possibility that a giant meteor could collide with the Earth on Friday, forcing the remnants of humanity to turn to cannibalism.

    What the APA has to say on the matter:

    What I say:

    Conversion therapy is a scam. The people may be well meaning, but they do not deliver results. These are quack doctors who may mess around with elements of the human mind that were not intended to be tampered with. These therapies all seem to be some variation on using Pavlonian conditioning to stop your homoerotic desires hoping that the left over libido will somehow spill over to the opposite gender, making you do stereotypical manly activities to make you less "sissy", encourage people to place blame for parents, friends, or others for their sexual orientation, and/or try to convince you that the sexual desires you felt were just misguided friendship with the same gender. Apparently playing basketball can fix that (ha!). The only way these therapists can fudge the numbers to look even mildly favourable is by ignoring the long term prognosis of their clients (many will become ex-ex-gay), and claiming success for people who simply do not display any sexual desire at all.

    How slight a chance do you really want to shoot after? It seems the only people who have appearance of success in these programs are people who later on go to work for them. That should be a warning sign in itself. Furthermore we are just talking about the behavior exhibited by these individuals and taking them at their quite likely self-deceived words.

    What you can do:

    (i) If you fully satisfied that conversion therapy is a bunch of bull excrement I would encourage you to look up what reputable psychological and medical associations have to say on the matter.

    (ii) Ask yourself why you do not want to be gay? What concerns, fears, or prior experiences have contributed to this? Simple awareness of where your feelings are coming from may help.

    (iii) Seek support. Some means of support work better than others; find what works best for you. There is nothing physically, mentally, or morally wrong with the state of being gay.
     
    #4 Nitro, Jun 14, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2009
  5. Kirakishou

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    Only when you can turn straight people gay will I ever believe this to be even slightly possible. :grin:
     
  6. GoBabyGoGo

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    well, david bowie did :grin:

    i guess he wanted to identify himself as different, and part of gay culture. unfortunatly, he realised that he wasn't actually gay:eusa_doh:

    so i guess its not ones sexuality that changes, its just that people discover who they are, and this can be confusing and take some time
     
  7. Absentminded

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    I have a friend who actually does that...problem being, they only turn gay for her...
    Anyway. Conversion Therapy is a giant scam.
     
  8. mattblack

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    I'd like to offer an alternate point of view.....I think it's entirely possible for someone to change back if it happens naturally (Ann Heche for example), but if you're asking if it's possible to control/force/generate that change yourself or have someone else purposely change you, then no.
     
  9. Jim1454

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    I don't think it's wise to force something that doesn't come naturally. So I'd say no.

    But if you're not convinced that you're gay, then you can certainly 'go with the flow' for a while and see what makes you feel most at ease.
     
  10. Mickey

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    I think it would do you good to see a professional. Someone you can talk to,to help you through this.
    I think the majority of gay people have questioned their sexuality. That's a very normal thing to do.
    I would definitely stay away from reparative therapy. That just makes things a whole lot worse.
    Remember,being gay is just a small part of who you are. It does NOT define you,as a person.Society puts such pressure on others to conform to what they think is "normal".

    And...David Bowie identifies as bi-sexual. He always has.
    As far as Ann Heche is concerned,she's just a totally screwed up person! I'm not sure if she is bi or bi-curious. Having a same sex relationship doesn't necessarily make someone
    gay. ( or even truly bisexual). Some people are just curious as to what it would be like,try it and realize it's not for them. But don't go by her(Ann). She also thinks she's from another planet....so,yeah!
    Whatever you decide to do,I wish you all the best. Like I said before,seeking help with
    this would be a good thing. At least think about it.
     
  11. Pasalacqua

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    It's not. I've tried.
     
  12. Lexington

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    Just choose to like women. If you don't find yourself responding to them, fake it. Pick up on a few, and make one your girlfriend. Get intimate with her. Force yourself if you have to. If you find yourself reverting back to liking guys, panic and ask your girlfriend to marry you. (If you don't have a girlfriend at the time, find the first available one, pretend to fall head over heels for her immediately, and get her to marry you at the first available opportunity.) Instantly have some kids to help "solidify" your relationship. Don't ever tell your wife what you're actually thinking about when you're having sex. Keep the porn extremely well hidden. Cover up all feelings of doubt and/or self-hatred by announcing to the world at large that you've beaten the "homosexual curse", and that you've never felt more fulfilled in your life. Cry yourself to sleep when she's not looking.

    It's pretty easy, come to think of it.

    Lex
     
  13. White Raven

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    I dont think you can change who you truely are unless you work at it with all the determination you could possible have. Whether straight or gay you are who you are and you should only change that for yourself and only if you are truely unhappy. Its like trying to be blond when your a redhead, you can dye your hair but in reality your still a redhead. And doing that just makes you fake.
     
  14. paco

    paco Guest

    remind me never to pick a fight with you lex. your subtlety might kill me before i even knew it.

    as for converting to straight, i think it sounds extremely dangerous. for one, you never accept who you are if you try to make yourself what you're not and then you've got this whole internal conflict that will never go away. that's where you get republican senators that are big time opponents of homosexuality and get blowjobs in the boys bathroom, and 40 year old fathers that leave their wives and children when they can't handle the straight life anymore.
     
  15. echapper

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    You cannot change your sexuality. What you can do is work on accepting it and feeling good being homosexual.

    Also, there is a difference between sexual orientation and sexual preference. I have read articles from reliable sources that sexual preference can be influenced a little bit. So if you were bisexual who is equally attracted to men and women, you maybe could change to being bisexual who is slightly more attracted to opposite sex, still you would be attracted to same sex. And you still would be bisexual.
     
  16. echapper

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    Another thing - it's well know that reparative does HUGE harm. And imo trying to influence your sexual preference is a sign of internal homophobia and any attempts to change sexual preference are harmful. So if you spend time googling reparitive therapy, try googling internal homophobia instead. It will do more good to you :slight_smile:
     
    #16 echapper, Jun 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  17. godfather

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    Hi there Jack2009!
    My onl advice would be comfortable in yourslef whether that means gay or straight!
    You shouldn't be defined by your sexuality that comes second, just be yourslef and you'll know!
    Hope you work things out!
    Take care
    GF
     
  18. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    Yeah... Well I made my family think I'm straight, even after finding evidence I'm gay with the biggest lie- opening a brothel in Vegas. I just made it appear I'm looking for all the information about sex. It work and they were fine with the career. I'm making more holes in my life than ever, since I know I'm not doing that.

    I have to come clean because now I feel like I'm living a bid lie with such a disgusting career (my family was supportive cause my dad planning to open one; mom just wants me to make money any way) grandma just was okay, but it would be worse to be gay... Opening a brothel is better than gay...
     
    #18 Jack2009, Jun 15, 2009
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2009
  19. Just Adam

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    wtf????? no it isnt :S exploiting people for their bodys? thats not good at all..... how can you compare the two? are you gay for pay or what geez having the abbility to love someone is soooooo far from opening a brothel....

    wow :S
     
  20. Jack2009

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    ^ no LOL I meant for my family

    I think it's disgusting but it's the only believable lie I could make.