Why is age always a problem!?!?

Yup... But seeing that I'm only 13 I am quite young

 

ha, i'm actually kinda picky about age..but i go more with the, "you're too old" thing.

i dont actually think age is just a number, there are developmental periods and all that, i honestly dont think i could date anyone older than 22 or so because i have friends that old and there is just such a huge difference between how they look at things and how i look at things, and its 3 years.

 

He's an adult, you're not. It's pointless.

 

Think about it.

As you age, you change. You could be here *hand held at waist* emotionally at age 15, but give it five years and you could be here *hand held at head* emotionally. Thats a big difference. You might be looking for different things out of a relationship, out of life, out of yourself, ect. Things change so much with age.

So dont think of it as age, think of it as...well, for a lack of a better word "Maturity" even though its SO much more than that. Its were you are in life really.

You need to look for someone who wants the same things as you. Now that is not going to come automatically if you find someone your age. You need to look person by person. Age is a factor, but its not THE factor in this.

Oh, but if your under legal age then you can automatically count everyone over the legal out out of the picture, and vise versa.

 

well in that particular situation, he's 18 and you're 15. he can go to jail as a pedophile for trying anything with you. its just a risky situation, especially over the internet. i've turned down 17 year old guys for the same reason.

and most 15 year olds are not fully physically developed, almost, but just not quite, sorry =\

and no, age doesnt make you more mature, its possible a 15 year old could be as mature as a 25 year old, but there is a lot of worldly experience that happens between that time as well that really changes people and you wouldnt even be able to see it until its happened to you...not saying that this is the case at hand, its just more probable.

 

Age is only a number after a certain point.
You haven't reached that point yet.

 

Well, it still might be a little uncomfortable for him. When you get out of high school, whether you go to college or start working, you experience a pretty dramatic change in your way of life. You start feeling a disconnect with people who haven't really gone through that yet. I used to think of "high school kids" as my peers, now I have trouble thinking of them as anything other than "high school kids", even though I've only been out of high school for three years. They may be very mature for their age, but there is still some part of my brain that says "this is a kid, act appropriately". I guess it's a part of getting older. =P

That, and there's not wanting people to assume something more is going on. Being friends with someone who's underage is something you have to tread lightly with. You may see no problem with it, but he may feel like that, by hanging out with a 15-year-old, he's going to look creepy. It's probably not a reflection on you, so much as what it would look like if he hung out with you.

 

hmm..yeah now i'm stumped. i would say something like, "what would his friends think?"--cause its not good for social standing to talk to/hang out with younger people, but its on the internet and none of his friends will know anyway... this one might just be one of those things.

ghostdog has a good point though. now that i think about it, once i graduated high school i wanted nothing to do with anything that reminded me of it--even though i actually did really like it, it was just out of my life

 

I think this is the major culprit in this situation. As you probably already know, words can be misunderstood online. People can come off as saying things they don't really mean. Like previous posters have said, you are underage and he is not comfortable with that. If you had met in the real world, he may have gotten to know you better and felt safer in cultivating a friendship.

Also, he may not have been looking for a friend. He may have been looking for a hook-up and when he found out you were underage, he decided that it wasn't worth it.

My advice is that you try to date or chat to people who are your own age. You may feel a disconnect, like you are more "mature" then your peers, but that only goes to prove that you are not.

 

As a 53 year-old man, I accept that age must be a problem. There are things I am not allowed to say to teenagers, as much as I would like to, I understand that people might want to chat with me, but strictly draw the line at anything else. There are pictures I am not allowed to post on EC because it could be misinterpreted. There are legal reasons (you are 15!), but there are other reasons for the age barrier, which become painfully more obvious every year. Age is not a number, it is a condition.

 

Oh my gosh, I could write you a book! It's so annoying. And it happens up and down. When I was in high school, I got flack because one of my best friends was a grade below me. When I was 19, I was friends with the younger brother of a guy I knew who was 15, and that was a problem. When I was 21, I dated someone who was 8 years older, and that was a problem for some people. When I was 26, I was involved with someone 20 years my senior, and my mum flipped out over that (because you know, at 26, I was so naive and overly impressionable). My last boyfriend was 10 years younger than me and that was a problem.

Not that there aren't differences between people based on age but in my opinion, everyone just needs to take a valium, spank their inner moppets, and get over it. ESPECIALLY with respect to the Internet, where apparently if there is more than 3 years age difference between two people conversing there is apparently a 99% chance that the older person is a pedophile. :dry:

I think the problem with age differences are much more to do with people's obsession over there being (or potentially being) differences based on age than they are to do with any actual differences. That is, whatever differences there are, those differences are magnified and exacerbated by people overly freaking out about them.

 

Huh?

How does feeling a disconnect that leads you to believe you are more mature than your peers prove that you aren't more mature? Are you saying that feeling you're more mature than others is like boasting about your humility? (If so, I completely disagree... I don't think the two situations are at all analogous.)

 

Well, maybe you haven't met the same people I have met. Whenever someone tells me that they don't get along with people their age or that they feel "too mature" to participate in a game, I don't think that's maturity. Maturity, to me, is being able to laugh at yourself or a situation. (Yes, that's not the dictionary definition. But as someone who does alot of comedy, I like to view the world with various shades of humour.)

I don't think this applies to everyone, of course. I have met people who seem to be older than they really are.

What I'm trying to say is: People who believes themselves to be mature are party-poopers. :lol:

 

Yea i dont get that one either.

And Joey i am impressed :eusa_clap with the whole dating people who you connect with regardless of what other people might think due to age difference. I dont know if i will be able to keep up a "fuck em all i do what i want" attitude while dating someone with a large age gap from myself Its funny, but i dont care what they think about me, but if another person is involved it changes everything.

*cough* back to the topic, again, I think you should not rule anyone out for there age (unless they are a minor or YOU are a minor) until you actually know the person. Take it case by case. Age can be a factor in what you look for in a person, just dont make it the factor cause you could really be missing out.

 

I totally misinterpreteted that as "When I was 26, I was involved with someone 20 years younger than me" and then seeing Greg's post I was like...

"WTF? You're supporting pedophilia? OMG CALL THE COPS! NOW!! OMFG!!!" Having a shit fit.. XD Good thing I re-read that. All my respect for joey almost flew out the window.

 

Is it possible that this has nothing to do with your age? Is it possible that his dinner was ready or he had to go out? You chatted with him online for a while - but that's all. There was no real 'commitment' here for either of you.

Perhaps you're reading too much into this.