Hey everyone...so yesterday my boyfriend of four months decided to break up with me apparently citing that our night together really made him doubt our relationship and he basically said if we lived together it could wind up as hell, and then he said that none of it is my fault :S He says we might get back together but I'm just really hurt...I mean I hate to say it since it had only been 4 months, but I thought this was it, I had finally found the guy I'm suppose to be with, I mean he had ambition, a real future, he knew what he wanted to do with his life, he was sweet, kind, generous, caring, like the perfect guy...And yet...he dumps me... I'm just hurting so much but I don't know what to do. I have no friends I can talk to in person cuz most are on vacation (I'm in University) or out of town, and I can't go and receive comfort from my mother either because my parents don't know....so please...just please give me advice or anything....
Hi there! I'm sorry that this happened to you! (*hug*) Not sure what reasons he gave you for breaking up, but know that you will find yourself with another boyfriend down the road. Maybe it just means there is someone much better out there. Breakups no matter how long a relationship lasted are hard because at times we feel that we have lost something, a part of us. Let it all out. Don't hold back. But remember that you will be able to move on. You will find the guy with whom you are supposed to be with and who posses some if not most of the qualities that you liked about him. Don't give up hope in that. If he does come back, and wants to give it another go, then you have to make a decision as to how much you can trust him, and whether you are prepared to give him another chance. (*hug*)
Hey there, I totally understand how you are feeling. I have to admit I have never been broken up with, but I sympathize immensely, because I think I know how I would feel if the person I am developing a relationship with just one day decided they wanted to be rid of me. That would probably be the hardest thing in the world for me, so I want you to know I really feel what your feeling. *hugs*
(*hug*) I'm sorry to hear about your break up. It's never easy. Try to chalk it up to a learning experience and do your best to move on. This guy had some qualities that you really admired, so you'll be looking for those in the next guy for sure. And there WILL be a next guy. Likely when you least expect him to come along. It's never easy to know how much you should say early on in a relationship. Honesty is the best policy generally speaking, so if you're head over heels for someone, it might hurt to know that they don't feel quite as strongly. But sharing how you're both feeling helps set expectations in terms of what you should expect from him - and it wouldn't be coming from left field when he tells you it's over. But there's no perfect formula to follow. You can always cry on our 'virtual' shoulders. That's what we're here for.
I'm really sorry about what's happening to you (*hug*). Heartbreaks are never easy things to handle, no matter how long you have been with your boyfriend. You're completly entitled to feel sad and to do all the kind of things people do when they had a heartbreak, such as listening to sad song or crying on your pillow. Take the time you need to grieve and to move on. I know it's painful, anyone who had to get throught that would agree, but time is a great healer. One day, you'll realise you're over him and you'll be ready to find someone who will love you just as much as you will love him. Until there, feel free to come here and talk about it if it helps. We'll listened and provide as much support as we could. Take care, Eleanor (*hug*)
Some (actually a *lot*) of gay guys have issues with emotional intimacy that they often don't recognize until they are in a relationship. It's basically a fear of letting someone in really close, and it usually isn't a conscious fear. They find themselves looking for an excuse to break up and they really can't explain why they're doing it. Or they go out and cheat, even though consciously they don't want to do that, unconsciously knowing it will end the relationship. It really sucks to be in your position. Give yourself the time to feel shitty, because you deserve that. But know that, in the long run, you will find someone who really cares and loves you, it just may take a little time. And don't blame yourself. It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with how you handled things, it was just something he wasn't ready for at some level.
Well he told me he "wasn't happy, didn't feel a connection for a while, and the last time I was over basically didn't make him feel good :S So...calchip you may be the most correct...sadly.
I just saw a couple of friends -- who were a really good couple -- go through that, and I'm pretty certain that's what happened with them. I talked with them, both together and separately, and one of them just "wasn't feeling it" and couldn't really explain why... and knowing his situation, I'm guessing that was the issue. The difficult thing, for your (former) bf, is that the pattern will keep repeating itself until he recognizes it and works on it. And for you, of course, you just have to avoid being "gun shy" in future relationships and assuming they're going to go bad because this one didn't. But when you find the right person -- even though he won't be perfect -- the difference is, you'll both realize that there are issues in the relationship, or with each of you individually, and instead of one of you running off, you'll instead talk about it and work it out. Just... keep looking, and keep getting out there. The right one's definitely there somewhere, just gotta find him
