I can't believe I've let my guard down this summer. I knew this was going to happen! I knew it! For once something amazing is happening at this theatre and a possible job opportunity in the end and I let some guy ruin it. I'm so frustrated! Now nothing seems professional anymore ... the music director is dating the guy I had a crush on ... the music director knew I had the crush on this actor .. I was trying to play it professional ... and now during rehearsal they keep staring at one another and making jokes ... and I can't take it. I really can't. Why couldn't that be me? Why couldn't for once in my life someone would walk into a theatre and develop a crush on me?! Why couldn't it be that magical? Instead I spent the better half of the last few weeks, I had failed attempts trying to get this guy to hang out with me and see what a great person I am. There is a Tony Party at the theatre where I went to find out my crush and the music director were hooking up. Than I had to result in sending an apology letter to my crush, apologizing and telling him what my real intent is and that's to be friends right now. That all I need is a good male friend. He writes back telling me, "I really appreciate your email. No awkwardness, the airs is clear. Again, Thank You." *sigh* I have so much at stake this summer .... so much and I just see it fading out of my hands so quickly because of this ... I constantly look at their status messages and wall posts to one another. Its sickening. Whenever I post on his wall or comment on a status he won't respond. I don't know what to do .. maybe I should just quit the theatre this summer ... I can't believe I'm letting this effect me so bad. So I ended up just deleting them off my facebook .. so I can just forget about it and move on. This guy has many people developing crushes on him, for some reason that's a little unsettling to me, no guy or one human being deserves THAT much attention and THAT many people crushing over him. Count myself out. Count myself out of the entire situation! :bang:
Aww i wish you didnt go so far as to delete them (*hug*) Hes just one guy you had a crush on. Its going to happen alot more, and alot of those times someone else might just beat you to the guy. But the good news is a guy who may seem like the world to you today is going to be replaced by an even better guy who seems like the universe to you tomorrow. Just keep your head held high and try and stay above the whole situation. If its going to interfere with a job then thats no good.
I'm actually glad you deleted them, if that's the only way you could've stopped peering over their shoulders. And don't quit - keep at it. Because you're going to run into this CONSTANTLY. Theater is one big happy and incestuous family, and you're gonna be working with crushes, people crushing on you, and exes at all stages of the game. That's part of the game. And you're gonna have to learn to put personal feelings aside and put on a killer show. Lex
Lex! You're post just made me feel happy, I've had so many friend clobbering me today because of my decision of deleting them. I figure if they truly are my friends and want to be, perhaps they'll notice I deleted them and come back around. I don't know ... I just needed to do it to move on. Sounds strange I know.
I ended up talking things out with both of them, also bringing their relationship at the theatre to a fore front to let the music director know that everyone is aware of his preferential treatment. Now I feel really bad for deleting them, i'm not sure what to say or to do or whether or not I should add them back or just wait until the show is over and apologize.
>>>I figure if they truly are my friends and want to be, perhaps they'll notice I deleted them and come back around. OK, that's utterly the WRONG reason to delete them. If you needed some space and time apart, I can appreciate that. To delete them so you can sulk and hope they notice "how bad they were to you", that's playing bullshit passive-aggressive games. An even bigger one? "Bringing their relationship at the theatre to a fore front to let the music director know that everyone is aware of his preferential treatment." This has accomplished precisely one thing - it has painted you as a whiny vindictive guy who plays the "if d2bp ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" game. >>>i'm not sure what to say or to do or whether or not I should add them back or just wait until the show is over and apologize. Neither. You go apologize immediately. Lex
