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Doubts?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Glunn11, Jun 16, 2009.

  1. Glunn11

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    Hey guys,
    I've been recently kind of stressing over the fact that I do find women kind of attractive. I think it started when I made the mistake of seeing what conservapedia had to say about homosexuality in the state in which I find myself. It also doesn't make sense since I've never been able to fantasize about women ever since I had sexual feelings, and I still don't. However, women in porn kind of turns me on right now.

    Not sure what to really say about this, and I'm almost positive it's just one of those strange phases. I can't really imagine myself going into an emotionally strong relationship with a woman. Just wondering if anyone else feels like this sometimes.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    You don't say how long you've accepted within yourself the feelings that you're (most likely) gay. If it's less than a year or so, what you're feeling is quite normal, and likely a byproduct of your conscious and unconscious arguing or bargaining with one another.

    The other thing to remember is... according to Kinsey, the only large-scale study of human sexuality, only 10% of the population lies at the "straight" and "gay" ends of the spectrum, and everyone else is somewhere on the continuum. So it's very possible you might have some attraction to some women.

    Third, age can enter into it. If you're in your mid-teens, the hormones are raging and I think some people could probably be aroused by a car or a tree or a kitchen sink... so you could be totally gay and just momentarily aroused. :slight_smile:

    What many here have suggested is focusing not on what you see in porn, but what images come into your head when you're masturbating. If it's guys you're thinking about, it's pretty likely you're gay. If it's a mix of men and women, then there are probably some bisexual feelings.

    I think the bottom line is... don't feel any need to label yourself, and don't feel any need to have an Absolute Answer. Just take your time and experience life and it will become clearer.
     
  3. echapper

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    Once I had a hard on seeing one of my friends in a fantastic dress. It was a really confusing feeling. But I didn't doubt my sexuality though. I have zero 'emotional arousal' when it comes to women. And as calchip said, hormones can make one be aroused by a kitchen sink.

    And speaking of porn, if it's heterosexual, you might as well enjoy watching the guy there.
     
  4. Glunn11

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    :roflmao:

    Ah, thanks guys. I have only been out since February, so that would explain the insecurity of it all. Emotionally speaking, I do want to be with a man in the future, and, as I've said, I can never really climax with the thought of women. I think this doubt may be stemming from the fact that I've never actually had sex and just fascination with it.

    I think I just need to calm down a bit, and I think I'll return to some degree of what I've been used to.