1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Holiday with parents

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by oops, Jun 17, 2009.

  1. oops

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2009
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Okay first this isn’t in relation to me being gay, is this advice forum just for issues relating to that or are we able to blab and moan about the other depressing aspects of our life as well? Its just you are all rather good at the advice giving and didn’t know where else to post. <3

    Okay, iv been on holiday with my parents the last two years (aged 15 and 16) and not really enjoyed it so this year I had decided I wasn’t going to go as I’d be 17 and would enjoy myself more at home alone. So when my parents asked me if I wanted to go I said ‘oh I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it, thanks for the offer’ trying not to offend by being overly keen on not going (pathetic I know!)

    Anyway BANG! they’ve gone ahead and booked anyway.

    I had been leaning towards telling them I wasn’t going to go (’I may be going away with my friends’, ‘My exam results are out at that time’ etc) so I had assumed they knew I didn’t want to go so thought they hadn’t booked me and asked ‘oh where are you going’ and they were like ‘you too’ and I was like ‘what! I wasn’t sure a I wanted to go’ which was quite brave as usually I so passive aggressive its shocking. Anyway they were like oh just think about it but I reaaaly don’t want to go and don’t know how to tell them! And what sucks even more is I know you cant really help me as I either suck it up and go or else tell them I don’t want to, so I’m not overly sure why I’m posting! Any words of wisdom?

    Okay on rereading I sound incredibly selfish to myself so god knows what you are thinking, I do feel bad about the fact that its already booked however they are renting a house so not paying per person so I don’t feel bad in that respect, just that I am throwing the opportunity back at them. :icon_sad:. Any nice way I can tell them without sound like a spolt ungrateful fu-k person. :icon_wink
     
  2. echapper

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2009
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow, UK
    Sounds exactly like my mom. Even worse, she goes ahead even if I say no. :***: :bang: :help:

    Seems like you are going on a holiday with your parents this year.

    Try to tell them that you had planned to do something else. And that you feel bad because they have booked the holiday already. Point out that you didn't agree to it. Maybe you can go this year and make a deal that next year you will stay home?
     
  3. fallendream

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    715
    Likes Received:
    0
    yes, you can blab, moan and bitch about everyday life aswell.
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think you're being ungrateful. They even ASKED if you wanted to go along. If it was a given, they would've just booked and said "Have your bags packed by such-and-such a date."

    I'd say tell them. Sooner is probably better. If you want to create or find an excuse, that's fine. But if not, just level with them. "I think I'd enjoy having some alone time this year."

    Lex
     
  5. echapper

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2009
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Glasgow, UK
    Great, I just overheard that my mother has booked a holiday. She phoned me up about it yesterday and I said no. Then she told me that she would let me think about it and that she'd call me back later. She didn't. And seems that now we have a family holiday coming up. I share your pain. :wink:
     
  6. Eleanor Rigby

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,767
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    France
    I think beign honnest with them would be the better thing to do. Tell them you're glad they asked but you'd prefer having some time alone for your holidays to do some random things you don't have time to do during the year.
    You can ad something like it would allow them to have some time of their own because you know it's not always funny for them to have a moaning tennager to deal with :wink: Try to show them something positive about going in holidays without you, they might be more keen on doing this.
    Take care, Eleanor
     
  7. Jim1454

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    Yes - you're best to tell them. And you should have right up front. Parents can't read your mind any better than other people. You can't assume that anyone knows anything.

    I'm sure THEY assumed that you enjoy going on holidays and wanted to join them.

    So, if you'd rather stay home this year, then tell them that you'd rather stay home this year. If that's an issue for them, then you'll have to talk about why. Next year you can get ahead of the issue by telling them before they ask that you have other plans.