Sorry, I know you guys get a lot of these kinds of threads. Anyways, I was at this "conference" kind of thing, and I noticed this one guy that I'm pretty sure is gay! He was really cute too. I'm not out of the closet and I don't know if he is or not so I didn't really talk to him at all. I didn't have a reason to. But he was at this "conference" type of thing that I'm really really passionate about, so it's a huge turn on for me that we both share this common interest. I didn't know his name or anything, and I wanted to at least get it if I could because I wanted to have this option of possibly contacting him So I have his name and I just feel like a huge stalker because I had to look it up online XD Would it be too weird to shoot him a message on facebook or something? I don't want to pass up this opportunity, but I don't want to freak him out!!
Hi there! I think you could still sent him a message. You share an interest with him. Use that as a start for the introduction. You can even say I looked up your name on the conference programme. It is not uncommon for other conference participants to contact each other after a conference. It happens that conference participants do stay in touch after as well. So I don't think you have to worry about him thinking you are stalking him. You are just making contact with him. But maybe try sending him an e-mail over his regular e-mail address rather than on facebook first. Maybe you can find his e-mail on the conference programme too. At the same time though, try to lower your expectations. For one, you are not sure if he is gay and more importantly at this stage, it remains to be seen if he will respond to your e-mail. Give that a go, and see how it goes. If nothing happens of it, at least you tried.
Thanks for the advice I just feel a little stalkerish. You see...it was sort of a training conference hosted at his workplace. He wasn't participating but we certainly share a common interest since we're both doing the same job this summer. So I guess it's a little weird to contact him haha. I'm pretty sure he's gay. He had a low voice but it sounded more animated than a straight voice, he wore Abercrombie tees everyday, he was hanging around with girls, and just had a little different mannerisms. If that makes sense. I just want to talk with him. I'm not looking for a relationship really, but I don't have high hopes or anything. Would it be weird to like...make a fake facebook account and message him there? I'm not out of the closet and I don't want him to see me just in case he's straight/an asshole. We have a mutual friend on facebook (our mutual friend is gay...all signs point to "gay" for this dude!) XD
Hi there! Well, that complicates it a bit. I wouldn't create a fake facebook account for the sole purpose of contacting him, because that would be a bit odd. I guess if you do want to get to know him or at least have the chance to talk to him, another avenue would be to talk to your mutual friend and see if you guys can do something together. You can try letting your mutual friend know that you share a common interest with this guy and you will be having similar jobs and you would be interested in talking to him about it. Maybe try setting something up where everybody comes together and where you have a chance to talk to him. Don't know if that helps, but not sure what to suggest otherwise if you want to talk to him.
Yes. Definitely shoot him a message. If you're afraid to say something personally, then make sure to do it over some other medium. BUT! Make sure it's private so if he's not out, you won't be outting him. Chances are, you'll get a more honest reply via a private channel. And if you're not out, be clear when you say so. Go for it though!
Update... I saw the guy on dlist...it took me about 2 minutes to see his profile, so it looks like I found my way of contacting him without seeming like a total stalker. At least it'll seem normal to him that I'm saying "hey" through this means Thanks for all the advice, guys
