So, I have this friend. Let's call him John. John like to touch men inappropriately. I have this friend let's call him Bryan; he does not like being touched by other men. Although John is good friends with Bryan, he continues to touch him in the erogenous zone, despite Bryan protesting. John used to do this to me, but hey, he stopped after he found that it could illicit no reaction. I've tried to tell Bryan this, but he can't help the way he reacts, seeing how it is such a visceral reaction. I sympathize by imagining a girl fondling my goodies. I assume that John does this to "assert his male dominance" on others by making them uncomfortable. By reacting, one shows that they are under Johns control, and by going along with it they are following his lead. How can I help my friend, Bryan, with this problem? John is very much strait, by the way. :dry:
Hmm, I entirely agree with the whole 'no reactions thing', it's just like with siblings, they'll stop pestering you once they know it doesn't annoy you. Thing is, some people can just switch off, others, like Bryan, just can't. I honestly don't know another way for these domineering people to stop doing their thing other than not reacting to it. I've found you can't really take it up with them; they don't listen. Sorry I couldn't add anything useful.
Punch John in the face Or just tell him that he's being a douche. :/ other than that you're gonna have to get Bryan to tell him off himself. I guess you could try touching him and see how he likes it?
Bryan doesn't have a problem. John does. I'd suggest a quick kick in the groin the next time John feels like touching Bryan inappropriately. Lex
This is clearly sexual harrassment. Your friend should tell John that if he touches him one more time, he's filing sexual harrassment against him.
Male dominance? Hmm, it's very hard to ascertain without directly asking him. And without knowing him, I'm going to say it's not. Usually male dominance like that is very controlling and ego fueled but it seems like he's just doing it to be funny, cute or going for the shock reaction. In this case, I believe he only does it to get attention or for curiosity. In which case someone needs to tell him it's wrong. While punching him may be a good remedy, if John doesn't do something, he's not going to stop. Simple as that. He [John] needs to remind him that everyone has their personal boundaries and he'd like his respected. If not, he can take legal action against him. Although that road should be the very last traveled. In this case, a kick jab in the arm or other extremity (not a Mahamud Ali knock out) would suffice better than legal threats I think. That's how boys play. And really, I think that's all it is. Because if it was the male dominance thing, I think there'd be much more going on than that. That's something you see more frequently in prisons.
I maintain a quick kick in the groin would be a proper and just response. There's no way that John doesn't know that this sort of thing is out of line, and makes people feel uncomfortable. And I think it's time somebody made him feel uncomfortable in return. Lex
Yeah I'm sure John is very aware that it is not very polite to do that. And he must have some level of self-control, so you need to somehow try and get John to stop touching Bryan. Maybe you should speak to him about this and tell him that it's pissing Bryan off. If he keeps on going, tell him to stop and threaten your friendship.
