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i need someones opinium

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by shireguy, Jun 19, 2009.

  1. shireguy

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    k, so i met this guy about 9 days ago,we have about 5 mutual friends . we got along really well, just us to on at a train station and on a train for about 20 minutes. he told me he'd add me on myspace, he did. he got my and i got his. and all weekend we were just flirting via text messages, last sunday i asked him out. the plan was to meet him on the following friday and see a movie. but on friday (yesterday) round 12 he said he got grounded for a week. so i asked what about next week. but he then said he's working on all saturday and has got family outings on sunday and is trying to save up for a video camera so he can't go out very often. and i was just wandering, is he trying to give me the flip? or is he just telling the truth? because if he's trying to avoid, it doesn't seem like something he would do. i need advice.
     
  2. Chip

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    Gently ask, perhaps via email.

    Something like "Hey, I sorta get the feeling that you're really busy. If you feel like you probably won't have time to get together any time in the near future, that's cool and I'll just put the ball in your court and you can call later when things are less busy. But if you're interested in getting together sometime soon, I'll be happy to try and accommodate my schedule to yours so we can make it happen."

    If you anything other than a firm interest and commitment, he's trying to nicely say he's not interested.
     
  3. Maddy

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    I think Calchip's got it right. You need to let him make the next move, and let him know that he's the one who has to make it happen. If he knows that not making plans will mean not seeing you, and he doesn't make plans, that'll pretty much tell you that he's not really interested in seeing you.
     
  4. Filip

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    It doesn't seem like he's necessarily giving you the flip.

    It could just be that he's telling the truth. He probably does have a personal life apart from going on dates.
    Or he is getting cold feet, and a bit fearful of going on a date (Or maybe that's just me projecting the way I'd react onto him... I always get nervous before going out)

    I'd say keep trying to schedule something, if necessary a bit farther in the future.
    If he's short of cash, and you really want to have this date happen, you could even offer to pay the movie ticket, or a drink (I'm not saying you should do this everytime though, but it defuses one of his excuses).
    Or, as Calchip says, put the ball in his court, and ask when he'd like to schedule something.
     
  5. beckyg

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    Its hard to tell. I'd just stay in touch with him but cool it a little bit and see if he has time for you later.
     
  6. pianolover95

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    like calchip said, throw the ball in his court. its the safest bet.
     
  7. BlakeHarmony

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    I agree with calchip, also, there are plenty of things/places you could do/go on a date that don't cost a thing.
     
  8. shireguy

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    thank you all for your advice. We have agreed just to stay friends. and i have kinda met someone else.
     
  9. shireguy

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    umm yeah another update. he is giving me the flip. blocked me on msn and wont even reply to me on myspace, pretty much is plain ignoring me