Okay I am so frustrated right now. I did something really stupid today. I got in the car with my friend (shes 15) and she went to pick up some more of her friends. We could have gotten pulled over or even worse in an accident and killed. Thankfully it went okay and I will never do that again. This is where it gets even worse. I recently found out that who I thought was my best friend smokes pot. Earlier in the year our friendship was worsened when I discovered she got drunk every weekend. I came to forgive her and I know she was being a "kid" (I have never drank alcohol, and dont plan to until I am 21.) But today one of the girls she picked up pulled out some pot and they just smoked it like it was no big deal. Meanwhile I was inside watching TV secretly texting my brother to pick me up. I dont know if I am over reacting about this but I am really upset about how much she has changed in the past two years. She just made it seem all so casual when in my head I felt like she was the biggest traitor I knew... This would have probably been the first friend I would have came out too after my family, but I dont know any more.. Please tell me if I have anything here or I am just over reacting..
She smoked pot while driving? And she's 15? OMG! *Make a mental note to chain his own kids to their beds.* I don't think you're over reacting at all. And it was a SMART thing to do to call your brother to pick you up! Good on you!
Well, you are overreacting just a tad. From what I can see, even though pot is illegal most everywhere, it's not particularly bad for you or dangerous. In fact, I would be much more worried about someone drinking every weekend than a couple of kids smoking a joint. That being said, if you are uncomfortable being put in these situations by your friends, you need to tell them. Pull one of your friends aside and tell them that you don't want to hang out when they are doing things that are illegal. You can explain that you worry for their health and safety when they abuse alcohol. You shouldn't attack them for their actions though. They aren't the devil because they like to get high with a relatively non-dangerous substance. They aren't betraying you, they are just experimenting, as teenagers often do. You are judging them quite harshly, considering you hope they won't judge you when you come out. Talk to them, explain why you don't want to be associated with it and relax. I'm sure you can arrange some activities that don't involve drugs. EDIT: Also, I don't approve of substance abuse while driving. But this doesn't seem to be the case.
no she wasnt smoking when driving. And ad you can see I didnt care really when I found out she drank, I really just hate being put in those circumstances. Like a group of 4 people I dont know and my best friend saying I should just come outside and smoke pot with them. The reason we were driving was so she could borrow money to buy more pot.
I know the whole time I was thinking, "WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF INTO".. I thanked god when I got out of that car.. I asked her if it was far and she said right down the road (small town, secluded area, didnt think much of it) then it was 20 minutes later and we were still driving, right through a busy part of town once! I kind of felt stupid being lied to like that..
Ah - thanks for the clarification. Still, if you're not comfortable with being there, you're entitled to feel that way. Time to find friends that like to do the things that you like to do.
Whose car was it? While I don't personally thing alcohol or pot is the end of the world, substance abuse is pretty serious. Texting your brother to bail you out was smart. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, leave. If you feel uncomfortable around these friends, just avoid them. Sadly, people change and you have to learn to deal with. People go through a lot of change around your age as they discover new things and themselves.
I'm not sure I completely agree with your view on cannibis not being dangerous. I would say that any schizophrenic who has smoked pot would disagree. Or the 30 year old pot head with emphysema. Its the general rule that probably 50% of people have tried pot but that doesnt make it safe. Lolz you did a good thing calling your brother. Unfortunately people change, and it sounds like thats whats happened with your friend. But I think that you should talk to her about how you're feeling. Sometimes it just takes a friend to kick some sense into you before you realise that your actions are actually being hurtful.
:lol: I was talking about the majority. I acknowledge that people with psychosomatic disorders are aggravated by pot, but in the post, it would seem that none of his friends are suffering from these afflictions. Smoking ANYTHING isn't great for your lungs, but depending on how you roll the joint (if you add tobacco or not), you can cut out a heck of a lot of carcinogens found in your typical cigarette. And if you eat pot, you cut out the smoking hazards entirely. I personally have not been presented with enough evidence to say that marijuana is harmful. It is certainly no worse than alcohol or cigarettes, both of which are lethal. Anyways, this thread is about friends making someone uncomfortable. I still say that you do not need to ditch your friends just because they are acting up. Try talking to them about the issues you have.
I completely agree with you that lolz should talk to his friends. But at the end of the day if your mates are putting you in situations that you arent comfortable with then its definitely time to say they arent your mates anymore. People do change...and smoking pot is a big deal. I had friends who got into cannibis and they changed completely. All they worried about was getting their next stash...and I just didnt have the time for people like that. I'm not saying your friend is like that lolz because everyone is different. But I will say this, never ever ever stick around in a situation that you're not comfortable with.
Lolz, What I'm hearing you say is that you don't want to be around people who are altering their consciousness with pot or alcohol. I'd say that's an admirable trait, and encourage you to stick to your guns. Sometimes it means jettisoning existing friends and finding new ones, but that's probably the healthy decision, because if you spend enough time around people who have a different opinion, most people will end up slowly changing their own opinion; it's an unconscious desire to "fit in" and most people aren't strong enough to resist it if they're around the opposing opinion long enough. There are plenty of reasons why teens should not be smoking pot on a regular basis; studies show that much of the cognitive processes that develop between ages of about 12 and 17 or so can be adversely affected by pot smoking. There's also some data that shows that regular pot smokers are typically less motivated than their counterparts who do not smoke. Of course, there are similar issues with alcohol as well. In general, if you want to be the best you can be, you want to surround yourself with people who are reaching for the stars and setting goals and busting ass to achieve them. Those sort of people will push and encourage you to be the best you can be. People who are drinking and smoking pot, with few exceptions, are not the sort that will lift you up in that way.
imo... u r over reacting. alot. n if she wasnt smoking while driving u around, i dont think its any of ur business. be friends or dont be friends with her but its not ur place to judge her.
Thanks for all of the positive responses everyone! I confronted her about her alcohol use a couple months ago, and she basically just yelled at me saying that everyone drinks and its what people in high school do. I actually laughed without realizing it at that point and she got even more mad.. In the past months I have been getting in with a new group of friends, one that not only doesnt drink/smoke, but more open to homosexuality. I feel a lot more comfortable around some of my closer friends that I have only really known for this year, and has made everything a lot better. I chose/am choosing to at least stay friends with this girl because we have been since kindergarten, and we do have a lot in common, just different interests, obviously. I understand what you are saying and I am not judging her. I just dont want to be known as the pothead for my entire high school life..
From my vantage point, I understand that you were uncomfortable, but I think you way overreacted. I personally favor the full legalization of pot. It has fewer carcinogens than do cigarettes, and it's far less dangerous than is alcohol. Pot has no addictive chemical properties. So your friend was smoking pot. At age 15, sure it's a bit young, but certainly not the end of the world. Drinking at age 15? Not a good idea. It does some nasty things to the developing brain. But, I have little room to talk, since I could walk into almost any party store in my hometown and buy booze at age 15 (I started high school with a full beard), and I did. Driving at age 15? Big fucking whoop. I learned how to drive at age 12 when my 16-year-old uncle got so drunk that he couldn't drive. My driving lesson in his 1985 GMC Jimmy was this: "There are two pedals. The one on the right makes you go. The one on the left makes you stop. See that lever on the right of the steering wheel? Grab it and pull until that little pointer points at the D with the circle around it." By the time I was 16, I had driven literally thousands of miles. Hell, I put over a thousand miles on the car my parents gave me before I got my license (which was the day after I turned 16). The only concern I would express is this. I'm still unclear as to whether your friend was using any of the illicit substances WHILE driving. If that's the case, then your reaction was valid. If not, I don't think you need to attack them, even if you were a bit uncomfortable.
Without trying to cause an argument, there are compelling reasons why teens should *not* be drinking or smoking pot. There are reasons for adults not to partake as well, but they are adults and can make their own decisions. People who are in their mid-teens that use pot or alcohol on a regular basis risk developmental issues having to do with memory and cognition that can be difficult to correct. Further, while pot has no physically addictive properties to it as do most narcotics, it does act on the dopamine system and affect pleasure centers in the brain, and can result in severe psychological dependence. Drew Pinsky MD (aka Dr. Drew) is one of the most experienced addiction clinicians in the US and has written and spoken extensively on the difficulties that people seeking inpatient treatment for marijuana addiction have, and he describes the process of detoxing from pot addiction as lengthy and challenging. Yes, alcohol is just as bad, cigarettes are far more addictive, and plenty of other drugs are awful too, and yes, plenty of people smoke pot or drink on an occasional basis and never have any issues... but to minimize the risks of pot and alcohol use in teens, or to say that there's no reason why teens should not use them, is grossly irresponsible.
