Depressed and worthless

First of all, do NOT feel pressured to be in a romantic relationship at your age. I am your age, and I have been in two relationships, both VERY short lived and both of which left me feeling worthless afterwards. It's a time to explore and date, but don't expect to find your dream guy right now. You have your whole life ahead of you to do that, for now, just have fun and be yourself!

Money troubles are pretty difficult to deal with, but considering the economy, finding a job is difficult. Keep trying, but if you can't, I'm sure your parents will understand.

Basically, this is a rough age and a rough time to be this age, so don't put so much pressure on yourself. Just take it one day at a time. Everything will work out, I can assure you.

 

Hey, I've never had even a hint of a relationship and I'm 18, so... don't feel alone in that regard. I totally relate to you being jealous of people that have what you want, but know that they have problems too and their lifes are hard too (sad fact of life). The boyfriend will eventually come, don't worry, but you can't be depressed until he does — it does not mean you're worthless, it just means you haven't found anyone yet. It WILL happen in time. Until then, you just need to be yourself and invest in other parts of your life (friends, school, passions, etc.).

As for your money troubles, there's no magic solution, obviously. But I'm confident it'll go better soon. And even if it turns out you can't afford some of the things you would've liked (the college, for example), you can succeed and do great anyway. I believe everything happens for a reason. Good luck (*hug*)

 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont kill yourself I really dont think i could handle that buddy. And its ok i know how you feel. I have never dated (a guy) and i know what it feels like to just want to end it all. But please trust me when i say that it will get better (i hope). Focus on accomplishing something if you feel that you want to. Please promise me you will talk to me or jess or someone rather than killing yourself. You have helped me a lot by just being there. I want to help you.

 

'ello
Hey- I'm 16 and haven't ever been in a relationship either. Don't sweat it, no need to rush, you're not the only one.
Of course... the money issue is hard to fix. But remember ( even though it sounds cliche)that everything gets better with time and even though it seems difficult now things WILL eventually become better.
However, not feeling adequate enough for your parents is a feeling that I think alot of people have. I for one, have often felt worthless and inadequate for my parents. I have also had them scream at me for not helping with money issues and getting a job. I honestly can't give much advice about this, as I am also experiencing these issues. However, be sure to know that there are many teens dealing with similar problems and that you are not alone.(*hug*)
This experience, even tough it seems dreadful and hopeless now- WILL get better and you will become a stronger person if you just stick through. Don't give up! There is still hope and there are people rooting for you, even though it doesn't seem like it. (*hug*)

 

(*hug*)

Please don't do anything rash, okay?
It is a hard spot to be in, but you should never give up the faith that things get better eventually.

Not having a relationship at 17 is definitely not a disaster. Many people don't have a relationship at 17, even though the traditional image of the last years of highschool (as fed to us by the series and movies) involves lots of dating. And most of the relationships I knew of broke after highschool anyway. Even the ones that seemed strong.

And then there were the friends telling me (much later) that they always thought I was the lucky one for remaining free while they felt locked up in a relationship that they felt obliged to continue. So from their side out it wasn't a bed of roses either...

The economy sucks now, and it sucks even harder that this will affect you and your family. But such is the way things happen. I'm pretty sure that your parents feel bad about this too. They don't tell you this, but they probably feel like they don't have any control of the situation either. And that doesn't tend to be something parents like to show their children. But it would explain why your mom and (especially) your dad act the way they do.

Never give up your dreams of going to college and getting away. Perhaps it will be more difficult than you thought earlier, or it will take a bit longer. But you'll get there. Just keep hope that things will get better. They always do in the end!

 

life is not a easy thing i am 31 now and i have never had any relationship till i was 30 and that was with a guy BIG mistake on my part. i just took the first person that came around knowing really deep down i like weman. and now today i am still alone and watch my best friend hang all over her boyfriend i still get sad on days but i cant let that get me down

on the money my mom is disabled and im on my own when it come to school i have never been given anything ive had to work for it and i hate it cuz i never get what i want i still live at home cuz i cant afford to live on my own and until i can i have to stay put but anyway yes i know it hard but you can't give up when life hit you hard you need to hit life back harder and not give up your 18 you have a whole life ahead of you hang in there if you want to chat look me up good luck

 

hang on man. things will get better. you're 17 -- everything is front of you. i'm 24 and i've been there -- the black hole of depression and self-repression. there are ways out but suicide is not one of them. things will get better. trust your friends and make new ones.... there's so much to live for, and being gay ain't the kiss of death it used to be. please hold on and pm me if you need to talk.

 

Hey there. I know I'm not the first to say it, but keep on fighting. As people who understand what it's like to feel like you're out of options, we're all rooting for you. You're fighting by figuring out your feelings and posting them here. You're fighting by hanging on. Right now it sucks. But it WILL get better. Maybe not right away - heck it might even get worse for a bit - but eventually it will get better, as long as you keep fighting, as hard as it is. Through suicide you'd never get to see the improvements that are your future.

I know how it feels to want that relationship. I'm in the same boat. I haven't had much luck as far as having my feelings returned. But no matter how much I feel the need for a relationship I know I have to wait for the right time. It'll happen when it happens, and no matter how much your heart aches know in your head that it's best to wait rather than keep thinking about it. I'm really surprised that your best friends have such complete relationships - because it's really rare that that happens. I know I don't know anyone who could say that. Most people seem to put relationships in the "once you've done it, you'll realize it's not as good as you thought it would be" category. Here's a cute little comic for you that popped back into my mind:
http://cowbirdsinlove.com/548

And hey, you say that you're 17 and you feel like you haven't done anything. Your out status says you're out to your parents and your best friends. That sounds like quite an accomplishment if I've ever heard one. I know I was pretty proud of myself when I did the same. There's no rush to meet your goals. Focus on one small thing you want to do at a time. One thing leads to another. If you feel like you should have a job then sure, hunt for one, it could be a great start, and it might be necessary by the sounds of things. But don't let your mom set your standards. You're different than your mom, you've had different challenges in your life, so you shouldn't expect to be in the same place she was at your age.

And here's a hug! (*hug*) Because you can never have too many!

 

I was sad and depressed a lot when I was your age. It seemed everyone else had friends. Not me, tho. Those were tough years in my life. I'd love the chance to live them over again, because I'd surely lighten up on myself. I'm so glad you posted here. I cant believe the great support and response you've received from so many others. Don't let the buggers get you down. I know that may be tough in Mich now. Stay with the college thing, maybe find one that is a bit cheaper. One of life's challenges is the need to adjust our dreams from time to time. But we have to keep dreaming or we risk losing our purpose. I look forward to hearing how you are doing.

 

Hey buddy, I'm just going to say a few things but please listen to what everyone is saying about relationships, etc.

First, you are so far from worthless. You are real involved in your school, being class president and all, and trying to support other gay kids there. You are a good friend to others here on EC and in RL (some of who are also on EC ).

Second, if you can't find a job, but need to feel busy and active this summer, why don't you find some place you can volunteer at. It'll could make you feel good, allow you to meet some other people, and get out of the house!

Finally, you CAN still get off to university next year and out of your stifling small town atmosphere. 'Dream' college or not, the friggin world is your oyster and all you need to do is dedicate yourself to finding a way. Scholarships and student loans are MADE for this sort of thing.

Wishing you the best (*hug*)

 

I'm almost 17 as well and have not dated anyone. I was depressed just like you a few weeks ago. I had thoughts of suside as well just keep going, as others have said it will get better. Just look at all the good things you have in life. (*hug*)

 

Dream college isn't out of the question. I've had to move four times recently because my older siblings have gone to college and we have to rent to save money. BUT, I was still able to go to a great college because of Financial Aid, the FAFSA and all that.

I also failed to get a job this summer, but to help get a job next time, one thing you could do is volunteer at a place. The experience looks good on a resume, and just doing contributive work can feel fulfilling. You could even try searching local LGBT Resource Centers or bookstores and seeing if they need or accept volunteers. Being LGBT could the play to your advantage, too.

 

People suffering from anxiety, panic, stress and depression should consult a specialist and only then should use the medicine, as there can be various reasons behind the disorder. Medicines used to cure such disorders are habit forming and should be used for small duration. As per my personal experience, I have used Xanax and it helped me in getting over my panic and anxiety disorder. You can have all necessary information about this on http://www.xanax-effects.com Along with medicine, the concerned person should take a break from his/her regular schedule, go out and take good sleep.

 

I have felt the same way you have about relationships. TRUST me, it's not worth it. Everyone has their time for things. It's so overrated.

I know how you feel. You feel trapped and you feel as if you can't do anything to escape this gaping hole you have fallen into. But trust me, everything is going to get better! Don't be upset because you don't have a relationship. You don't NEED someone to make you feel happy. Make yourself happy. It's a tough lesson I have learned.

As for the financial troubles, just make sure that you put yourself out there and try to find a job. ANYTHING helps during these hard times. A job is a job period. I wish you the best of luck

And feel better!! (*hug*)