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So there IS a reason...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TeeBe, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. TeeBe

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    I don't think that I have mentioned this before, but my sister, while not openly anti-gay (and harbours nothing against gay people that she knows), is incredibly condescending towards the whole "gay" idea. Not sure how else to put it. Like, if someone does something that she doesn't like, they did it because of their orientation. Naturally, there is the whole "gay" when something is stupid thing (although when someone does something stupid, she refers to them as lesbian...)

    But those attitudes are apparently being reinforced. She is in a mental institution at the moment (for trying to kill herself, twice...). Apparently, everyone in there is gay/lesbian/bi. (Not her being dumb, but in actuality). So the girls kept making passes at her, which made her a bit uncomfortable. Fine, I can get that. What I cannot forgive is that two of the girls made their way into the washroom while she was bathing (it is a private washroom there) and proceeded to strip down and *tried* to take advantage of her. Grrr! They were stopped by the staff.

    So I can't really blame her for her anti-gay attitudes. She is one of the few people who mucht actually have a legitimate reasom to dislike us. But how do I tell her now? Should I tell her? She is 17, I know that she can take it, but I don't want her to identify me with such a skewd minority. So I guess I am a little bit lost at the moment. I also don't know if this post makes much sence, as it was kind of a me-being-overwhelmed moment. And I still want cake.
     
  2. jroakwood

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    i do think you should tell her.
    but you should also tell her that you know what those girls have tried to do to her and that it was unacceptable and that not all gays/lesbians are like that.

    but i hate that we have to be afraid to be who we are so my advice is always to put it out there and tell people, especially family, cause i mean, theyre family.

    and it really gets on my nerves when people always substitute gay for stupid.
    i mean. im gay. and im not stupid. heh.


    not sure if that helps at all.
    best wishes and good luck.
     
  3. Sam

    Sam
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    Wow! that is overwhelming. I don't really know if I can give you any good advice but I'll try and you don't have to take it. I say if you think she can handle it and you want to tell her then tell her. Of course you might want to wait until she is back at home and settled before you tell her. Make sure she realizes that not all lesbians are like what she has experienced and that you are sorry she had to go through that but that experience is out of the ordinary. If you speak from your heart then maybe since you are her sister then she will be able to see that you are after all her sister and that it doesn't matter that you are gay.
     
  4. Evilmonkey

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    i think if you tell her there is a strong chance that you will change her views on the gay/ lesbian minority. she will see that not all lesbians are sex offenders, but loving caring people.