Hi I have this problem. Awhile ago I met this guy and he was great to talk to and we went on a date. We chatted for hours until the shop closed. We could have chatted longer. The problem is he is not my type and I would of course would like to see him again but he is keen on me. How to I tell him I am not physcially attracted to him? I dont want to hurt him and I now avoiding chatting with him on msn and feel guilty for it.
Well I would suggest maybe saying to him something along the lines of "you're such a good friend" or "It's great to have you as a friend". You know casually in a conversation. It does suck when someone likes you and you don't like them back. I know it feels like shit putting them down but its better then leading him on. Leading people on is just rude, hurtful, and an asshole of a thing to do. So better to just be friends if you just want to be friends and let him know that you don't want more.
I just posted something on another thread that might be helpful. I'll paste it here: You can do so with kindness. Something like "I think you're a great guy, and I know that somebody is going to be really lucky to have you as their bf, but I think of you as a brother or a friend, and it just isn't something I'd ever be able to take to the level of a relationship. I don't want you to think I don't like you, just that there isn't any chemistry there, and I wanted to be honest simply *because* I care about you as a friend."
or something like "i think we have a really special relationship and i don't want to put that in jeopardy by seeing you. i want to still be friends with you in 40 years time" or just be totally honest and say what you've said here. it is a bit high risk though (ie he could get quite hurt). though i'm sure the same thing has happened to him and more than likely he would understand. has to be done very gently though. make sure you then have time to spend with him eg tell him during a sat arvo when you already have dinner planned, and make sure you go to dinner and ease him through it.
Be forward. Just tell him you don't like him that way, there will still be a feeling of rejection, that is unavoidable. But, that doesn't mean you two can't be friends.
