ok, where to start, a while ago i had a fling with this guy for about a week nothing happened we just kept on flirting then soon later we kinda stop talking and texting all time and just struggled to make small talk. Soon later we just agreed to be friends. Then one night I met this guy and we got along really well and became bf and bf. We've being going out for about a week or 2. Soon I find out that his 2 years older but he doesn't look it and he keeps smothering me and is very paranoid that something will happen like i will cheat on him and stuff like that, and he doesn't even trust me. It got me thinking if he keeps treating me like this i will ask him to stop and if he refuses i gonna leave him. Though the thing is I still have feelings for the guy I had a fling with and I want to be with him and in a way kinda love love him. I feel bad for this and i'm not sure what to do. please i need advice
sounds like you've got pretty much the right plan. if he's clingy and not trusting of you he needs to know, and if he keeps being that way then its just annoying, and it would be annoying to anyone. if he kept doing it and you left it might teach him a little something about relationships. its not like you're planning on just dropping him like a used tissue, you're planning to be nice about it and its not like you couldnt try again if things change in the future.
I think you have the right idea about talking to your boyfriend, and if he doesn't change, leaving him would be your best option - if he doesn't trust you and he's that controlling, the relationship's not going to be doing you any good. However, you need to have the right mindset if you do end up breaking up with him - try to think "I'm ending this so I won't be in a controlling relationship anymore", not "I'm ending this so I can go after this other guy". If things faded between you and the first guy, I'm not sure if they can brighten up again. Keep up your friendship, and see where it takes you.
You're not a bad person to not want to be smothered. Some people(not all) that smother can tend to get a little pyschotic. And if he doesn't trust you the relationship won't last. be sides the point you still like the other guy. sooo. i think you're helping BOTH of you.
I had similar happen to me. Way too smothering. I put it off way too long, He became very dependent on me. Breaking up was insane. If you sense it coming, sooner may be better than later.
if he wont stop smothering you, leave your boyfriend but if the relationship you had with the first guy died then i wouldnt go back. i would imagine it would be awkward if u go back to him and still can't carry on at least a decent conversation.
well perhaps you should consider dropping him. It may get worse if the relationship continues. If you drop me because of this issue it will teach him a lesson.
I agree with what these people have said so far. Let him know how you feel. As to the age difference, 2 years is fine.
You might have a bit of the "The grass is always green complex" You might want to be with the first guy just becuase you don't have him anymore. But, none the less talk to your BF left him know how you feel.
Separate the two situations. A. Your boyfriend doesn't trust you and doesn't give you enough space. If he doesn't change then you should end the relationship if you are dissatisfied with it. If he changes and you are satisfied then stay with him. B. If you become single, there is a boy that you are interested in, restart conversation to see where it goes. Try not to let B affect A. You shouldn't leave your boyfriend cause there is someone more appealing, make sure you are leaving cause you are not happy with your relationship. But it doesn't make you a bad person either way.
