even after coming out to everyone i find it practically impossible to say "i am bi" or gay or whatever i am, and people are beginning to notice that a cant bring myself to say ...it so can anybody else relate?
Yes, and the reason why is because you don't want to associate yourself with gay/bi people because people are going to assume that you're just another one of them. Then they are going to assume stereotypical ones. Eventually you're going to be prancing around in tight clothing, and flipping your wrists, and IQ drops 50 points, and you're lisping, and you're saying "YOUR FABOULOUS!! MUAH MUAH", and then you're into pop/dance music, and promiscuous, and think you're only want it in the butt. [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGAKjY2gyqI&feature=channel_page[/YOUTUBE]
It can be really hard to say you're gay or bi, definitely. My thoughts on the matter are that often when you're closeted, you don't want anyone to associate you with those words, and when you come out it can be hard to get around the kind of block you've put up against them. You can describeyour sexuality however you want - if right now you're not comfortable saying you're gay or bi, you might find it easier to say something like "I'm not straight" or "I like guys".
I had the same issue when I came out. It took forever for me to be able to say "I'm gay." I think, like was said above, it is because one spends so long with this picture of what "gay" (or bi, lesbian, transgender) is and so long fighting that image that it is incredibly difficult to break through that barrier. I think what you need to do is create your own definition of the term "gay" or "bi". You don't have to accept the common idea. Don't like Madonna or Britney Spears? Fine. Don't like rainbows or tight clothing? Fine. Enjoy working on cars or watching sports? Fine. It doesn't matter. Being gay, lesbian, bi, or transgender is a small part of you. Saying "I'm gay" or "I'm bi" is like saying "I have blue eyes" or "I have freckles."
Agreed. I've gotten to the point where I say it in front of 30 - 60 people at a time. I do panels for my university and routinely say "I'm Jeff and I'm gay" in front of classrooms.
I agree with Lex, the more times you say it the easier it will get. Practise in front of a mirror if you have to. I know that it's kind of weird to talk to a mirror, but it really does help when you are nervous or afraid. Also, the mirror won't judge you =]
I just had to respond to one thing in your post! I happen to own a t-shirt that says,"One of them", on it!
It does get easier. ( for most people). Coming out is a life long thing. There's always going to be people who don't know and it's up to you who you decide to tell and when. I've been gay all my life and it was really hard,at first. I will usually tell,if I'm asked. Or if someone asks me if I'm in a relationship.I'll tell then,too. But,that's me and everyone is different. You'll know if & when the time is right. Sometimes,after you come out to one person,and they take it well,it can give you the courage to do it ,again. Hope that helps some.
I can say it, but my stomach knots itself immediately afterwards and I feel uncomfortable. Guess I'm not used to it yet lol.
Maybe say "I am a homosexuaaaal", really bring the word out in a five second span. Blinking your eyes too, and bend you neck back. Then saying gay would be easier.
I agree with the practice. Either by your self in front of a mirror, or in the car, or with other people. If you have friends that you are out to, talk about gay topics. Say the word gay. You don't necessarily have to keep repeating "I'm gay", but just talk about gay bars, gay pride, etc. It will get you comfortable with saying the word. Alternatively you can say "I like boys" or "I like other men"
