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Coming out at Work...maybe?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by EM68, Jul 3, 2009.

  1. EM68

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    I went back to my old employer, a car dealership, about 3 weeks ago. Things are going great. I am selling cars and overall I am a lot happier there. Partly becasuse the old general manager is gone (who no one liked). The other reason overall I am in a happier frame of mind. I am not worried about coming out to my family like I was 8 months ago, plus I have a great bf who I am falling in love with big time.

    I have talked to a few of my coworkers. A number of them have noticed that I am happier and less stressed. I have told a couple of my friends through casual conversation that I am seeing someone. A couple of them have said that is nice that I have a girlfriend or implied that. At the time I played along. Now its sort of bothering me that I did not say I have a bf or tell them that I am gay. One of them is gay. I mentioned him in my coming out story. He is so flamboyant. When I was struggling with my sexuality I was intimated by him (if that makes sense). Another guy I was thinking of coming out to is a friend of the gay guy. We all used to work together and I know he will be fine with it.

    I feel like I am ready to come out to a couple of my friends, especially to the gay guy. I have been thinking of asking him if he went to pride and show him my pictures. For some reason even though I feel I am ready I freeze and I don't know why. I don't plan to advertise that I am gay but just not hide it. Any thoughts?
     
    #1 EM68, Jul 3, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2009
  2. The Enigma

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    It happens, Ed. :slight_smile:

    It's very shocking and can be very devastating if the correct acceptance isn't given. I don't blame you. It's a second coming out of sorts. I know you want to be known more as the real Ed, not someone you may be pretending to. It's totally normal to stress that as it is your workplace and you don't want to feel unwelcomed. It sounds like you'll be fine. :slight_smile: I wish you the very best, as always. :kiss:
     
  3. Lexington

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    Just do it. Much like your other "comings out", it'll be something to simply get to the other side of. Tell GayGuy "I didn't see you at Pride - did you go this year?" And if anyone else asks about Mr Wonderful, just tell them in context. "Yeah, honestly, I'm kinda smitten with Fred. It's a great feeling."

    Lex
     
  4. dude99

    dude99 Guest

    Well the best approach is to come out first to the onces that would be most accepting of it. Especially come out to the gay guy. I wish you the best of luck and let me know how things go after you come out.
     
  5. Mickey

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    Hi Ed,

    You already did the hardest coming out,so I know you can do this. I think using the pride parade is a good way to go. (with the gay guy) Know what? Just do it when you feel the time is right,and be yourself and you'll do fine.
    The thing about coming out,is you never really stop. There will always be someone who you want to tell. It truly does get easier.
    I give you so much credit because I know this is all still fairly new for you and yet you're doing it ,in leaps & bounds.
    Of course it's scary,sometimes. But,as you know,it's so freeing to be yourself and not have to worry that you may say the wrong thing. (like saying "he" instead of "she".)
    The more you come out,the less you want to hide. This is who you are. Head up,walk proud! All the best to you.
     
  6. EM68

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    Thanks everyone. I guess I just have to find a time that I am the most comfortable to do it. Like I said, I don't plan to flaunt it. I want to just be myself. I will let you know what happens.
     
  7. EM68

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    I took a step today. I changed my relationship status to "In a relationship", on facebook. It does not seem like a big deal but about a third of my friends are coworkers or former coworkers. I did not change looking for yet its still blank.
     
  8. s5m1

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    Good for you, Ed! Keep it up.
     
  9. Jim1454

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    You're obviously well liked there as they took you back. There is an openly gay employee, so there shouldn't be an issue with you being gay. When the time is right, just go for it. If there doesn't seem to be a right time, maybe go out for lunch with those two guys and bring it up when you're away from work.
     
  10. beckyg

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    Ditto to what Lex said. It'll be great to have friends at work that you can be yourself around! (*hug*)
     
  11. EM68

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    The next chance I get I am going to do it. I want to do it. I am going to tell a few select few at first. I know that eventually more people will find out. Rumors spread like wildfire at the dealership. At this point I don't really care. Like I said I am not going to flaunt it. I will let you know what happens.
     
  12. Kenko

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    I agree with these two 100%. There's an openly gay employee, you know that doesn't pose an issue, so just casually bring it up. Which is in line with your "Not wanting to flaunt it."

    Good luck! :thumbsup:
     
  13. Just Adam

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    good luck Ed XD

    hope they all get happy and throw a party :slight_smile:
     
  14. malachite

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    I was in the same boat. I would be all worked up to tell my co-workers and BAM brain freeze. I found it easier to tell a few at a time that I really confortable with first. Like you said tell the other gay guy first.
    I also told the people I came out to that it was ok to tell people about me if they asked. That way I didn't have to come out to every single person, maybe that'll work for you too.

    Glad to hear you're in a good place, stay there as long as you can, soak up some positive vibes.