Basically this is about me and my best m8, i think i'm falling for him. But i just need to put into text somewhere or i'll do something stupid. Had this m8 for 2 years now, since starting college,and tbh we havent got on really well until the beginning of this year. Hes straight, he has had girlfriends and uses every oppuntunity to look at other women and make his opinions heard. He seems like a very typical straight bloke when I'm with him around others. But he does act very affectionate, alot of the time towards me, when we are not in groups (mainly lots of random hugs in the street and hands on legs that sorta stuff) he has stayed round my house a couple of times and after a little hesistation the first time, now has no problem seeing me get changed (everything except the changing of boxers). Its not a spur of the moment thing either, i've acturally told him i was getting changed and he followed me upstairs and layed on my bed just kinda half watching. This summer we've been cing each other more recently and he has invited me to go on a few days out with him. Then in a few months we both leave for different uni's and properly wont see each other for long periods of time but he has said he wants to keep in touch. The other night he dumped his girlfriend, picked me up from work and spent the whole night with me, then when he left gave me a hug. We've had loads of hugs before and they are all the typical blokes hugs (not that meaningful) but thinking back on it, it didnt seem like a bloke hug but a proper hug. I've never had any real close male mates and seeing as i'm just starting to come out I dont know if i'm seeing into things too far or there is acturally something there. As most people that meet him think hes gay and i can see where they are coming from. Now do I come out to him not knowing how he truly feels and risk losing all this male friendship with him (if he finds out i know our friendship wouldnt be the same) or do i just keep silent and let him carry on believing i'm straight and also not acting on my feelings.:help:
I'd come out to him. If people tend to think he's gay, like a lot of them, chances are he is. Or at least he's not straight per-say. You can always come out to other people first before him if you'd lke that. But I also have male friends who hug occasionally, but if that hug is lasting longer than like 5 seconds and he's got you in a dead lock...chance's are that's not a normal hug. Like a male friend to male friend, straight buddy to straight buddy. If I did that to one of my guy friends, they'd be like "Yo, get off me fag." :lol: Ask him, politely. You can always try that too.
thats a complicated one. I doubt he has to tell u he wants to stay in touch its more of an understood thing. If he is loud about liking girls he might be in denial, compensating for being in the closet by not giving people the opportunity to think twice about his sexuality. However this could swing either way. Or he could be bi. sometimes straight guys are affectionate with other guys its not uncommon, but the fact that he does it only in private means that he might in fact be gay. this also shows his need to impress people which could work to ur disadvantage if u tell him, the guilty by association complex might kick into overdrive. Its to bad u didn't look at his face when changing, its a good test. if he looks away when u watch him then he is mostly into u. Most gay guys would be to self concious to follow u into ur room when u make it clear ur intent is to change. Hell next time put on a show for him. Make not of him reactions. From what i can tell he seems to enjoy ur friendship probably enough to deal with r secret have u ever brought up a convo about gay peeps around him? How did he react? Against my better judgement i would say go for it but be prepared for mixed reactions at first, just give him time.
Well it seems like you want to test the waters to see if hes gay because ud like something to happen, but to come out to him for that reason isnt great. I dont think i would want to mix up a friendship by complicating it with feelings. but I think you should want him to know as a friend so should tell him anyway
I would come out to him. He sounds really great and if he feels the same that is perfect and if not im sure he'll be ok with who you really are.
Oh this is a though one. I don't want to give an advice here since it's too complicated, and I could be so TOTALLY wrong. BUT be aware that if you do become like GREAT friends you're gonna have to tell him at some point anyways. Best of lucks whatever you do!
Without knowing more about him it would be difficult to say a lot, but I've met many people and had many friends who are totally straight guys who give the most wonderful, deep, caring hugs and are incredibly thoughtful to their male friends. Although we like to think so sometimes, gay men do not have the monopoly on warm and caring male-male relationships So I think it's likely that he may simply be comfortable with you, but isn't gay or bi. Unless there are other really obvious signs, I would be inclined to give it a little time before coming out. I don't hear you giving any reasons why doing so immediately is necessary, and it might be better to further develop the friendship for a while.
i say come out if hes really your friend he will understand and be fine with it if not then your leaving soon for different unis anyway so its ok, but on the off chance he has feelings for you then this time could be very special together... you not not got alot to lose if hes a real friend hed stand by you if not youll meet new people when u go to uni as you can arrive at uni beeing out so youll meet people you know wont have an issue with it
Well, I don't know if the hugs thing meant anything else that the fact he likes you in a friendly way and feel comfortable around you. If you want to come out to him hoping that he'll come out to you to and become your boyfriend, you risk to be highly disapointed. But if you want to come out to him because he is your friend and you trust him, I guess it should be fine. Take care, Eleanor
Hmmm...This one is a toughie. I've never known a straight guy to follow a person into their bedroom and watch them change. If it were me, I'd tell him. It sounds like me might have a thing for you, but is too nervious to come out. And, acting really macho-man when he is around other guys is classic in-the-closet behavior. I know becuase I've been there. Take a chance: nothing ventured nothing gained.
