first off, i NEVER usually have problems getting hard. i just play with myself a bit or watch porn and im fine. i was waiting for a gay friend to come on with his webcam... and i was watching porn, i got hard and stuff and played with myself for only like 20mins and the guy came on. i stopped watching porn, turned on the webcam. very soon after that i totally lost my erection. and i couldnt get it back!! no matter how hard i tried. it was really embarrasing coz this was the first time me and this guy ever tried something. and hes not sure if he wants to meet me now!!!!!!! OMG WTF is wrong with me!!!! I think hes really hot and sexy and attractive and everything.... why would this happen?? hang on, maybe this belongs in the health section... but also, what do i say to him to keep him interested!!?? PLZ HELP
I have no idea what to say to him that would keep him interested in you.. Maybe just say that you are interested in him? I dunno. Were you nervous at all? being nervous is a good mood killer. Especially if this is the first time you and this guy ever tried something.
yes id say it was nervousness... it was my first time doing anything like that... if i do meet up with him in person, how can i avoid this happening again??? How can i kill my anxiety?!
A drink or two helps. Being in a comfortable setting, being comfortable with the guy you're going to do stuff with, knowing that there wont be any interruptions of any form. These things can help reduce anxiety during sexual encounters, but you still can get nervous anyway - so just take it slow, be open with your partner with what you do/and don't want to do. If you do find that you're not getting anywhere, spooning and sunggling can help reset the mood, and give your partner the notion that you are still very into them, even if your junk isn't working the way you both want it to.
Like Mr. Colly stated, being nervous is a SERIOUS mood killer. It'll divert the blood flow. Truly, you need to be able to relax, have fun. If you start thinking: "Omg, I'm so small!" "What's he going to think of that?" "Is this alright?" If you start thinking stuff like above, then you're probably going to lose an erection. Not because you're not a big enough man or anything like that but because anxiety really does ruin erections. If you get jittery during real intercourse and can't relax to some extent, the same thing will happen. Your penis is not broken. Just relax a little more. Also, if you came ("climaxed") before he got on, then you may just be tired ("spent"). In that case, that is also normal. That is an entirely different situation.
Well my advice is to take things slow. Well I guess you could stop the cyber webcam on showing the private parts, ( I would never show my private parts via cam esp to to someone I never met) and just wait in person when you are with him and are intimate. Foreplay can help relax the nerves.
Two things. First off, for the last four or five years, sex has been a solitary activity for you. You've jerked off in private, and (presumably) when someone comes home, you quickly cover up and hide the porn. This gets you into the mindset "sex is a solitary activity - when somebody shows up, stop". And now you're trying to jerk off, but damnit, there's this GUY there! Secondly, I blame porn. Not that I think it's bad, but I think it does lead people to believe that sex tends to be an idealized state. No question - sex kicks ass. But stuff happens. Legs cramp up. Pubic hair gets into teeth. People fart. Things fall out. Orgasms hit too quickly or won't show up when they're wanted. And yes, the dick suddenly gets soft. What can you do? First, and far most important, accept it. All that stuff I listed above? It happens. Probably all of it will happen to you at one time or another. Accept it. And when it does, shrug it off. Don't panic. Just let the guy know what's going on. Smile and say, "Looks like the cock has a bit of stage fright. Not surprising, since I've actually never done this before, and I'm kinda nervous." Then offer to help him out instead. Show him your ass, or watch him and talk dirty. (If you're in person, and you can't "rise to the occasion", it's a lot easier. Just work on getting HIM off.) And if he chooses not to continue, accept that. Say "Sorry about that. Maybe we can try again some other time." Lex
I think the previous suggestions are right on the money. I'd also recommend doing some practice by yourself, without porn. When you have about 20-30 minutes of privacy, lie down someplace comfortable, completely relax yourself (just do some deep breathing and envision relaxing each part of your body) and then start to fantasize about having another person and imagining what that person is doing to you (or you to them, or both) and masturbate. Don't be in a hurry about it, just take your time, and try to envision and make the experience as real as you can. What you're doing with that exercise is to sort of "reset" your unconscious and start to establish the idea that sex is something to be savored and enjoyed, not something to rush through while watching porn. I think that if you do that, you'll find it will make it much easier to stay hard and enjoy your experience. I'll also add a word of caution about webcamming. There are a LOT of people who record webcam sessions, and as a result, quite a few people who have later found their "private" webcam session posted on some tube site. I'm not advising you not to do it, but to consider the fact that if someone at the other end can watch it, they may be able to record it also, and so the possibility of a video of you masturbating showing up where anyone can see it is not at all outside the realm of possibility. In this day and age, a lot of young people don't seem overly bothered by that concept, but I do strongly suggest you think about it... friendships and relationships can abruptly end, and if they do so unpleasantly, and someone is mean enough, they can post your most private acts publicly in retribution.
If that was your first time camming, I don't think it's at all surprising that you couldn't stay hard. It's way easier to stay hard when you're actually with someone, physically, than over a computer. There is way, way more to sexual attraction and stimulation than just visuals. If the other guy isn't "sure" about you just because you couldn't keep it up over a video link, he sounds like a douche. As has been pointed out, real life is not porn--people don't have super-sproing™ erections 24/7. Not even teenage guys.
i agree. first off he's a numpty for having second thoughts & im sure if you do meet him you wil be able to preform. i think what you shud do nxt tym u cam each other have porn running in the background & if ur having trouble have a peek. he wont know ur doing it & its an almost guarentee u will be able to stay hard. and as it has been said their is nothing wrong with your penis.
I think you should be the one having doubts. Don't feel like you're letting him down. If he's willing to get rid of you this quickly, you might want to find someone else for your first sexual experience. You want the kind of person who would be patient and not put extra pressure on you in a situation like that. If he's not interested enough in you to stick with you through some really awkward sexual experiences, it might not be worth it, even if you were just considering a sexual encounter and not a real relationship.
same kinda thing happend to me with the guy im seeing. he was hard for me, and i was too, but then i lost it and didnt know why it happend. i was turned on, and we were doing a whole lot of sexual stuff, but i lost it. we didnt have sex b/c i stopped it and his dad was going to b coming home anyway but it was very weird.
