So I don't think I've ever posted anything on the support section before. But my parents have been constantly encouraging me to see a counselor although I have always told them that it would be but futile. And I usually don't have too much of a problem dealing with problems in life thanks to my supportive friends and parents. Having said that, I think to a certain extent, I do need help. And I mean, in a forum, I might be able to learn a lot from other people's views, opinions and advice as well, so why not eh? So here goes: So after years of thinking about life and basically just pondering about the purpose of life, I've come to the present philosophy of learning to enjoy life, be grateful for the present, and basically be happy. But for some reason, recently I've come to face a predicament. I realized that I could be happy in what I would conventionally call "good" and "bad" situations. Which kind of means that I have lost my heading in life. I am enrolled in the University of Toronto, and basically have a crazy hectic but eventful life by enrolling in 7 courses a semester (5 is usually recommended) because it's cheaper to do so and I enjoy learning, and actively engaging in campus life through the LGBTQ club and other various activities. And I had a plan of working towards getting my CFA (certified financial analyst) and CA (certified accountant) designation. But I realized that my motivation is waning... It's very ironic because for some reason, I feel that since I can appreciate any sort of moment, I have no reason to look forward to anything. It's funny how in the past, when I was still struggling with defining my purpose in life, and when I gave up hope in life, I attempted suicide due to my reluctance to live a meaningless life; but now, when I don't have any reason to be depressed, and am perfectly fine living life, and in fact, happy that I am living life, I feel that I am contented and have no reason to live anymore - like I am ready to leave this world.. For some very obvious reasons, this makes me feel that my current happiness is only a delusion, and that I am not happy... But I am.. :S I would like to just post this question out so maybe your answer might give me some insights to my life - "What do you think is your purpose in/of life?"
I'm apparently gonna be here for a number of years. And I consider my purpose to be twofold . One, to have a good ride. Secondly, to help others have a good ride. That's it. Lex
The purpose of life [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT5OGJgKA_U&feature=related[/YOUTUBE] That's the only way to describe it.
I'm with Lex. I'm here to help other people, and to be content in doing so. But I didn't figure that out until recently. Up until recently, I can see in hindsight that I was just going through the motions. Going with the flow. Doing what I thought was expected of me, and being motivated a lot by fear - the fear of failing to do what was expected of me. When I went through this crisis of recognizing and accepting I was gay, dealing with my addiction, separating from my wife, selling our house, and working on my recovery from addiction - I realized that my motivations were all screwed up. But I had to find new ones. What had been driving me all these years - through university, at work, in my home life - wasn't going to work any more. I couldn't live like that. And as a result, I had a real 'down' time - at work and at home. And it was tough. Thankfully I had coworkers that picked up the slack. They knew I had problems that I was working through - just not the extent of the problems! My wife was also very strong for me and for our kids. She has been remarkable through all this. But do you know what I attribute a HUGE amount of my success to? MY THERAPIST! I think we should all have one! I'm convinced that most people aren't really capable of dealing constructively with many of lifes problems on their own. For some people, their problems never get quite serious enough for them to seek out help. And I - in a way - feel sorry for them. I have gained such tremendous insight into myself and others through my therapy and 12 step program that I'm THANKFUL that I'm an addict. So I would encourage you to take that offer of help. See a therapist. See how it goes. Don't assume you can do this on your own. Maybe you can, but what's the harm in getting some pointers, suggestions, coaching? You might eventually get there, but perhaps a therapist can provide you with a 'short cut'. In my case, I'm quite certain I wouldn't have made it. The relationship that I had with my therapist saved me. If you want to discuss this further, feel free to PM me. I'm pretty sure we'd be able to relate one another - we have geography, orientation, and career (I'm a CMA) in common. Let me know. :icon_wink
