Okay, so she knows I'm gay, so this doesn't have to do with coming out Anyways, I gave her a heads up about my current issue with my grandfather in case he was treating me any differently and she was wondering why. Her response was, "Well, I do think you post some incredibly personal things." Me, "It's not like my status was 'I'M GAY!'" Her, "Well, when you have statuses like 'Tyler (middle name) (last name) loves Bill' you might as well be shouting." God damn double standards. My brother can post in his status all he wants about loving his girlfriend, but when I post about a guy, it becomes too much for people to handle. Eleanor, will you please be my mother for real? P.S. I don't really need support or advice, but I thought this was the most fitting subforum.
I think she probably feels a little bit raw at some level... in another post, I described the early coming out process as being a bit like being publicly naked, and I think there's, in an odd way, a similar thing going on here for your mom... she wants to be accepting and OK, but she's just worried about the reactions of others and feeling like it will in some way reflect on her. I agree it's a total double standard, and she probably would see that as well (even if she wouldn't admit it) but I think it's just one of those things that takes a little time.
I can't resist commenting on this, troll or not. I think this is the first time I've ever heard someone say this on EC. If it was intended sarcasm I'm terribly sorry, my sarcasm detector had a faulty wire so its at Future Shop being repared. And Tyler, I'm sorry, that does suck.
hey man give her time but carry on as you are she may find it hard to accept at the moment but that cant stop you from living your life just give it time
Dude thats your mother! you cant be going around dissing her. You know she wont have stopped loving you, she just needs to get used to the idea. Give her time and dont expect so much.
Tyler you need to explain the double standard to your mom in a calm manner. Point out how she views your relationships differently. Hopefully she will get the hint!
Yeah, double standards suck. A straight person mentions his/her significant other and it's seen as a normal conversation topic But when you're gay and even mention it once, it's all "please don't be so explicit about it!" You could try bringing the double standard up, but it might take some time for her to see it, even if you explain it to her. But I'm not one to talk. I avoid this topic with my mother like the plague, mostly because of a few situations like the one you describe...
She could definitely tell there was a problem because the rest of the phone call with me was filled with unenthusiastic one-word answers from my line. I will talk to her about it when I get home. I didn't want to have a discussion 6 time zones apart. As for dissing my mom, I'm not. I love my mother, but I wish she was as open minded and progressive as other people.
I'm sorry about what your mom said Tyler (*hug*) I agree with Becky, you should talk to her about the double standard and how it makes you feel. Wait until you'll be back home, have unpacked and have a rest for a few days. The calmer you'll be, the better it would go. And remember, the best advocacy you can provide is to be a good and loving man (that I know you are, so don't change a thing ). I'm sure that with time, your mother will realize that who you love doesn't matter, what matter is that you love. And that : was very flattering :icon_redf. I'd be your substitution mother whenever you want. (*hug*) Eleanor
Haha, I have a similar problem. Whether it be in real life or on the net, I can't tell sarcasm, AT ALL. Makes for awkward moments all the time. Now back to Tyler's situation. For some, dealing with homosexuality is not the issue, the issue comes with the actual practice of homosexuality. It is hard to explain. It is sort of like saying, "I don't like wholegrain bread" and then chucking out 10 loaves of perfectly fine wholegrain bread. Except that your situation should make more logical sense than this. . .-_-'. . .In any case, your mother has her reasons, although they may be falsely based, or you may not agree, it is always important to have a good level of mediation, meeting her half way, or giving her your side of the story.
