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I Walked Out ..

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dare2bProud, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. Dare2bProud

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    Last week I made difficult decision of walking out on a show I was a part of. The director had stopped speaking to me for two weeks, putting more responsibility on me, and the cast was very disrespectful to me. It was as if I was an uninvited guest. They would go out of their way not to invite me to after rehearsal outtings. I felt horrible. I dreaded walking into the theatre. The director promised to get me support and help and she didn't follow through. I suffered an anxiety attack and this was all volunteer!! Cut hours back at work and just felt like a horrible person. No one seemed to like me or appreciated me. After I walked away, of course, I heard from no one in the show. Not even a call from the director wondering if I was OK and if she can do anything to repair our relationship and get me to come back. Nothing. I had a good fourth of July with my sister, spent a night with her and have just been celebrating summer. Embracing the friends I do have and appreciating my managers at work who accept and respect me. When you go through something like this you realize what you have and what you don't. Sometimes we get lost with other people, hoping they'll be our friends and appreciate us. Sometimes we forget about those who actually do care. I also sparked a fire within me to explore other interests, hobbies and go back to a part time job as an usher at a theatre (that I gave up to be a part of the community theatre circuit). I am also going back to school in January to get the teacher's degree I have been dreaming of in Social Studies. I enjoy global perspectives and I think a lot of Social Studies teacher's take the subject for granted. :slight_smile: Teaching diversity! :slight_smile: :lol:

    As my social network status' read yesterday:

    "RE: Last Week. Hurt for being forgotten. Angry he wasn't appreciated or well liked. Saddened by what came to pass. Upset he couldn't have been himself. Broke Away, happy, and better for it. Life goes on long after its said and done. You Live, You Learn, You Grow. Best Wishes!" (&&&)
     
  2. Lexington

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    You perhaps were right to walk. But don't feed the llama on the facebook thing, m'K? :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. Chip

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    I remember reading your earlier post, and I KNOW, as a former theater person, how difficult it is to walk away, particularly knowing you're leaving people in a difficult spot. But from all that you described earlier and in this post, I think you did the right thing.

    It sucks that nobody gave enough of a shit to address the issue with you, but, on the other hand, now you know that the group really wasn't worth being a part of.

    I agree with Lex that airing the dirty laundry publicly (i.e., on facebook) only inflames things and typically does not encourage people to see your view. But all the other steps you're taking -- doing other things and focusing on the future -- are really excellent steps. Keep us up to date on things!!
     
  4. olides84

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    I remember responding to your prior thread. I'm glad you walked out, and that you are taking stock and re-prioritizing things. Good job!
     
  5. Dare2bProud

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    Thanks for remembering some of my earlier posts. It was a rough road for awhile. Thanks for everyone's support! :slight_smile:
     
  6. Dare2bProud

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    I think I'm going to write the state arts funding organization for this theatre about what I went through and how no one from the theatre showed any concern towards me during or after the process. Would you blame me?
     
  7. Chip

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    I think before you go to the funding organization, I would first go to whomever the president of the organization is and ask for a meeting with him/her. Explain your concerns and talk about why you feel that something needs to change. Do your best to be objective and not make this about you, but focus on how it affects the program, the people in the program, the audience it serves.

    Even if you did write the funding organization and were successful, do you want to be responsible for a theater organization losing its funding and going out of business? That money won't automatically go back to your town; it may get absorbed, or go to another program in a different city, and in my book, the loss of a community theater organization, even if it's dysfunctional, is a really sad loss for any community.
     
  8. Lexington

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    >>>I think I'm going to write the state arts funding organization for this theatre about what I went through and how no one from the theatre showed any concern towards me during or after the process. Would you blame me?

    Yes. I think you simply need to walk away. From an outside observer, this won't look like a former member presenting his concerns. It'll look like a former member who got jilted, and is trying to stir up drama. Sucks, but I'm pretty sure it'll reflect worse on you than on them.

    Lex
     
  9. malachite

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    Aw, theater those were fun days...I miss them.
     
  10. Dare2bProud

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    The dark clouds have officially lifted, the show closed today. I'm not certain on how well it went. I know that I am letting this go, there is no battle to fight. A fire has been ignited within me to begin my own collaborative theatre project, instead of complaining, I am writing the Arts Council about my project and help funding that! I'm turning positive into good. Although I must say I find it amazing how quickly my Facebook friend number dropped after leaving the show, it seems as if everyone from that theatre befriended me. I was actually really good. I didn't say much about the theatre on my status'. Whatever. I must move on. Within myself I know I made the right decision for myself.
     
  11. Dare2bProud

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    Gosh, I know I keep going on this ... haha ... sorry .. do you think now that the project came to a close I should touch base with the director and send her an email explaining as to why I walked away? Or should I just completely let it go and wait until she get a hold of me? (If she ever does)??
     
  12. Chip

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    The director had to know; I believe you said you'd expressed your concerns before. But if you feel that closure would be helpful to you, then sending an email couldn't hurt.

    If you do, though, frame it as objectively as you can, perhaps in a way that encourages her / the organization to take steps to prevent the same thing happening to someone else. If it comes across looking like you feel victimized, it will probably not have the desired effect. :slight_smile:
     
  13. Dare2bProud

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    Calchip - That's where I'm having issues. I had wrote it, but I've went through many drafts to make it seem as if I was bantering or "whoa is me". I'm still debating whether or not to send it. If I sent it to you in a private message, would you be willing to read it and tell me what you think and give suggestions?