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My mom is worried

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pikachu1, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. pikachu1

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Ever since i came out to my mom she keeps telling me how she's worried for my safety because "There are a lot of people out there who will kill you just because you are gay. It's bad for women out there, it's even worse for gays. There is a lot of gayism(?) out there." What can I tell her to not get her to worry? Also what does gayism mean? I asked her and she said it's being against gays like racism is being against a certain race. That not a word right? What is the word for being against gays?
     
  2. bob4carl09

    bob4carl09 Guest

    No, the word she's looking for is homophobia :slight_smile:

    Well, she's your mom, it's her job to worry. And to a certain extent she's got a legitimate concern. Not sure how you'd counter that tbh, maybe just say that there are risks, yes, but you're being careful how you behave in uncertain company? Maybe that'd make her feel a bit better.
     
  3. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    When I first came out to my dad, he was worried as well. He didn't understand that the current generation is more accepting, although there are groups out there that would purposely hurt you. I think it's called "gay bashing".
     
  4. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    If your mom wants another mother of a gay son to talk to, you can pm me for my e-mail address. I would be happy to talk to her.
     
  5. Kirakishou

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    Tell her how it felt to be in the closet and how you'd rather face those risks than those feelings again.
     
  6. KatoKumi

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    There are a lot of people who will kill you for anything. Not to be jaded, but people are crazier, and they're only getting crazier as days pass by.

    There might be no way to soothe her mind, but you should hold yourself and tell her that this is who you are. It's not something you can change. And people kill people for a lot of things like that. ie. color of skin, gender.

    It's not easy for anyone.
     
  7. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    That's actually a good thing she worries. That's a very good sign as long as she doesn't get too crazy obsessive over it. And she's very right. But the chances of dying over it very minimal. Though, you're like to die in a car accident rather than a gay bashing. Don't let her worry herself too much. You might wanna sit her down for a movie like "So The Bible Tells Me So."
     
  8. RaeofLite

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    My mom told me that today and I felt like beaming with happiness. This means that she's accepting it as who I am now, rather than denying or making comments. :slight_smile:

    She loves you dude. You're lucky, not all LGBTQ ppl have that. Just tell her that things in the world are slowly changing and that you'll be careful (ie: watchful of that and mindful of situations and bad parts of town, going out at night without friends etc)
     
  9. Doreibo

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    OK! So it is a good sign that she worries over this, like all parents do. However this worry isn't something of major concern. People are becoming more accepting of gays, well here any way, and unless you mix with the wrong crowd, I don't think homicide will come into play. Her worry might be founded on the basis of her past experiences, stories of gay bashings and the sort, but in today's society it doesn't happen very often. By the way, as said above, the word for *gayism* (not a word) is homophobia. And yes getting beat up on for being gay is called *Gay bashing*. If you need any other slangs I'd be happy to provide them. Us aussies have a reputation to uphold you see. :wink: