Okay so earlier this year I started crushing on this AMAZING girl. Lol. And since then I've fallen for about 4 others. I've liked guys up until now but all of a sudden I haven't. I mean I still like them in that way but there just hasn't been 1 specific guy. So anyway I started thinking I could be bisexual. And as soon as I heard myself even think those words I freaked. I pretty much tried to supress my feelings to the point of being depressed and almost suicidal. But eventually I decided I would try to just be myself and be open and I became more happier than I've EVER been. Ever. The girl I recently fell for... I can't even explain it. I know I love her. In someway or another, I genuinly do. There's no other explanation. I know I'm young but I can just feel it. And if you're wondering why I would become so freaked at the thought of not being straight, let me enlighten you on my family. My dad was a pastor and a youth pastor. He went to a Christian college. He goes to church anytime he can. For God's sake he reads the Bible while he's in the bathroom! And he's read it all the way through over 4 times! My mom is a children's ministry director, was in the Salvation Army for a good ten years, and also goes to church whenever she can. (And to boot, my uncle is also a pastor, my grandma was a sunday school teacher, and my grandpa drove a bus for the Salvation Army. Most of my friends are good Christians too.) Talk about a religious background. Lol. Get the point? I haven't talked to anyone about it, but my family is starting to get really suspicious. I've been in arguments about gay rights atleast 5 different times with different family members on different occasions. I myself am not even okay with being bi quite yet, which makes me just want to hate myself. My new fascination with girls is really starting to eat me up. Lol. I guess I just need someone to talk to about all this stuff. I would appreciate it so, so much if someone could help me out here. Please and thanks, ~Allyssa~
Everything besides the family background sounds very similar to what I went through. I also went through a period of suddenly crushing on a girl becoming freaked then depressed/suicidal. What helped me immensely, though, was coming out to my friends and it felt like a huge load off my chest (even though my parents still don't know). On the topic of not being "okay with being bi", that's okay. From what I've heard and experienced; it's a normal feeling. Also, this site is a great help with advice and learning more about the LGBT community. Maybe if you learn that it's okay to be who you are, you'll feel better about yourself. I would just browse around and see what you can find. Good luck!
I'm a christian too, not as deep as u are, but i know what ur going through, this video really helped me it's called the bible told me so. just scroll down to it in the forum its got ten parts and is nearly two hours long, trust me i'd watch the whole thing. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22056
Thank you so much But I'm not quite sure how I would even begin to come out to my friends. Any advice there? Oh and I kinda left out the part where I've basically been a tomboy my entire life and still am to some extent but it's evolved into more of a lesbianish thing now so everyone just kinda assumes that I'm gay or something. Lol. So I've been trying to prove to people my whole life that I'm straight but now I guess I have to tell them the oppisite. Ha. Lucky me.
Thank you so much But I'm not quite sure how I would even begin to come out to my friends. Any advice there? Oh and I kinda left out the part where I've basically been a tomboy my entire life and still am to some extent but it's evolved into more of a lesbianish thing now so everyone just kinda assumes that I'm gay or something. Lol. So I've been trying to prove to people my whole life that I'm straight but now I guess I have to tell them the oppisite. Ha. Lucky me.
haha, triple post. I go to a catholic school. Parents are catholic, and mum prays all the time. All my friends are religious/catholic and it sorta goes down hill from there. So I can sympathise with that. Once again, as killerjc said, the bible is open for interpretation. Unless you belong to one of the protestant sects where its taken literally. >.< I think finding out whether you are Bi or not is something that you know yourself. When I found out I was gay, at a pretty young age, I didn't really know about lying to myself and denial and the sort so I pretty much accepted it without too much internal struggle. But now, it arises. . .ignorance is bliss. So I think if these feelings are strong enough, you will KNOW that you are Bi or not. In any case, I haven't had too much experience as I myself haven't come out so take my advice with a pinch of salt. Well, wishing you the best. Good luck!
I guess once you are sure that you are bi (or gay if it comes to that) just tell them nonchalantly? Especially if you are bi, just kinda let them know, your friends should be cool with it. (I hope) And if you don't make it a big deal then it shouldn't change much, it'll help it just become another part of you and not like some big defining "OMG SHE'S BI!LKSJDKLFSD" thing. I hope that was helpful. As for your family...idk goodluck!!
Okay. I think I might be able to atleast tell a few friends or something. Bud I was talking to my mom the other day about bisexuals and her words were something like, "Ewww. Bisexuals are just greedy, nasty sluts who can't make up they're minds, are desperate, and will do anyone or anything in sight!" Hearing that from my own mom made me just wanna crawl into a corner and die. Lol And my dad wasn't much different either. Any advice or suggestions on telling them? Thanks so much!
Biphobia is pretty common among all groups. The main issue for this is the only way you actually see someone and know they are Bi is if they are exhibiting promiscuous behaviour with both genders. Otherwise you could be seeing bisexual people all the time in stable, healthy, monogamous relationships. You never know if the couple walking down the street is two straight people, two gay people or a combination of straight, gay and bi people. As for being "unable to make up their mind" it's good to think of it as "I'm not confused, you're just confused by me." Also, people who eat all flavours of ice cream aren't confused, so why should we have to pick one gender if it comes more naturally to enjoy them both/all? Try explaining this idea to your parents/anyone who is biphobic and see if they are receptive to this type of thought. It may not get through to everyone, but it does prove a good point. Hope that's a good enough answer!!
I'm in very much the same situation you are. I was raised Christian and my parents are the type that will never be convinced that my sexuality is reconcilable with Christianity. I know this because I don't believe it is either, I simply chose to be who I am. My parents have demonstrated their ignorance towards the LGBT people on countless occasions. My mom believes that people are gay because of family problems, which means if I ever tell her about me being bi, she'll immediately start to blame herself (she's bipolar and already has self-esteem and depression issues). For this reason and others, I may never come out to my parents. What helps though is coming out to your friends, or at least some of your friends. You'll need to someone to talk to, someone who can support you and your friends are your best bet. Start with someone you have good faith will accept you and go from there. Once you're out to one person, it will start getting easier. A word of warning though, you're still in high school. If you don't want your parents or church to find out, be very careful who you tell. Word travels like wildfire and it only takes one person with a loose tongue.
yeah i dont agree with it myself either but it sometimes doesnt feel like i can really help my feelings :/ thanks haha thanks for the warning
