How often do you think about it?

Before I came out, it was on my mind all the time. How to say it, what reactions I might get, a million back-up plans and responses to various things people would say. My theory is that the right time to come out is when you feel the stress of staying in outweighs the risks of coming out.

 

its allways on my mind as something not to do

 

Its something that I thought about it and than just jumped head first into. Once I started telling everyone, it became addictive, I felt relieved and a since of pride.

 

Its something that I think about every day at the minute. I want to do it but I havent actually done it yet.

I've kind of said to my dad that I am gay but it was in a situation where it wasnt going to be taken seriously and he was so drunk that he doesnt even remember that I said it anyway.

Apparently an Orange Baccardi breezer is a girls drink and I should have got a pint instead:lol:

 

Hahahaha. Thats hilarious.

OK! Now, I think about it every now and then, but as you can see, I have never told any one. Yea it does drive me a bit crazy sometimes, but thats a sort of cocktail mix of other things too. . . From what I have heard, alot of people just jump head first, blurt it out or just nonchalantly drop the bomb. I'd go for the last one there.
Good Luck dude.

PS: Those three words can be shortened to two.

 

I thought about it more and more and more as the time got closer, until it was the only thing I thought about. I went from thinking I would just stay in the closet for a few more years to actually coming out in about a month's time. Several factors made me realize how important it is to be happy and accepting of myself. I tried to plan it in my head, but when I actually started saying it I kinda started choking up hahaha.

 

It is one of those things that is always, I mean always, on my mind. I think that means that I am almost ready to get those three little words out. Of course overthink everything, but coming out is always on the top of the list of things I am always mulling over in my head.

 

I think about it ALL the time. The thing is, it has become a pretty natural thought for me. It doesn't upset me or stress me out in any way, it's just kind of there- which I think is actually a decent sign of being ready to come out. One time even I was making out with a boy (we were dating at the time... MISTAKE) and realized that I had been having a completely analytical train of thought planning how I would come out to my best friend for like the past 10 minutes... it was a funny (and rather telling) moment in my life...

 

ooh I do love a good contraction!

 

Right before I started, it was literally all i could think of, to the point I was so distracted I was falling behind at uni. So if it's becomming all consuming, I'd guess (tho I ain't no expert) that maybe you're close to ready.

Word of advice, this might not be the same for you but just in case I'd point out that when you spend too much time thinking about it, you may end up glorifying the process a bit, so when you actually go and do it, it won't quite reach expectations. I'd convinced myself by the time I got to telling a few people that coming out was gonna be the answer to all my problems, and whilst it's ultimately been for the better, because I'd hyped it up so much in my head it turned out initially to be v anticlimactic, which sent me into a deeper depression than I was before. Like I said, that might just have been me and my silly little brain, just be cautious. And good luck when you decide the time is right

 

It was something always on my mind and 500 scenarios would run through my head at light speed before I told my friends, but once I did it became easier and a lot of those scenarios (which were pretty much always negative) died down a bit.

 

the thought of coming out was always in mind until one night i decided it was the right time to come out. it was around 10pm after a play rehearsal i had and i was in bed and thought it was the right moment so i texted one of my best friends who is gay and told him. he was sooo happy for me. i then gradually started telling all my closest friends. when i first told someone face to face it was soooo hard but it then got easier lol. so far my count is up to 6 and i think i'm just going to keep it like that for a while. i'm not ready to be completely out lol. if u really think it's the time to come out i would advise you to start with your few closest friends who u think would support you. you dont have to tell everyone on the same day. take your time. then if u feel more comfortable with it u can gradually come out to the rest of your friends. good luck.

 

When I'm not in a school term (eg: either on a work term... or unemployed) I think about it a lot more than during school. When I told the first person (via MSN) it was while I was alone, away from the city, on a work term, and it was stewing in my mind.

I told my parents in April... I was planning on telling them after I got a job and moved out, but alas people buying overpriced houses in the US somehow tanked the entire global economy and I can't get a job, but of course it was stewing in my mind the whole time (and I've been on EC more since I finished school) and eventually I couldn't take it and just told them.

 

Same here. It just suddenly became an all-consuming urge over the span of a few weeks.
It's as if I suddenly decided that there was no point in telling myself I would miraculously turn straight, so I should better tell other people.

And then it became my sole thought for entire days at a stretch. I developed a lot of scenarios, and all kind of contingency plans for if things went horribly wrong.
I can't say how much times I went over it. It can't have been less than a few thousand times, though :icon_wink

In the end it does come down to a leap of faith. You just have to assume you have all the answers, and that the people you know will be cool with it. It won't be perfectly like any scenario you planned, but it will be close enough that you can manage it!

 

It's a daily thing, especially now that I think my parents want to ask me but don't know the correct way about saying it.

 

id probably think about it for weeks or months but after that id probably get enough courage to come out already

 

>>>How often did you mull it over in your head when you realised you might just have to say the three scariest words in the whole world?

"We're outta cheesecake"?

I don't recall obsessing over it too much, although I did worry about how people would take it. Once the first folks were fine with it, I stopped worrying much.

Lex

 

I used to think about it a lot. I remember when I started liking this one guy, I realised and accepted (surprisingly, without much difficulty) that I am gay. All I could think about was telling my parents and friends. Having no one to talk to about it was killing me and I felt like i was living a lie, and that my friends and family didn't know the "real me".

I planned my "coming out" story so many times! I mulled it over in my head until I felt ready to tell my parents. Eventually, once I had plucked up the courage a week after my 16th birthday, I told my mom, but the words that spluttered out of my mouth were not the ones I had planned!

Trust me, no matter how many times you practice your speech, it will not turn out the way you intended. But in the end, if you manage to get it out, you will feel a lot better about yourself and hopefully you will be able to lead a normal, unsheltered life.

Just remember though: Think of how long it took you to process the fact that you are gay - when you come out, don't expect your family or friends to accept it immediately. They need some time to digest it as well, just as you did, and work through it.

All the best! Good luck!:icon_bigg