So I got home last night and when I woke up my dad asked me if I had gone to a certain type of website last night. I told him no even though I had. He probably does not believe me since my sister was already asleep when he went to bed. He just asked me and when I said no he changed that subject and started talking about something else. What should I do? Has this happened to anyone else who had to deal with it?
Is the "certain type of website" a gay porn or other obviously gay-related site? If so, the fact that he asked you probably means that he suspects or knows that you're at least questiioning your sexuality. The fact that he abruptly changed the subject when you said no would indicate to me that he knows it's a sensitive subject for you, which probably means he would be OK with you telling him. Do you have any reason to believe that he would or would not be supportive? If you think he would be supportive, this might be a great opportunity to go ahead and come out to him.
Well, as calchip said, him not pressing the issue is a good thing. It shows he isn't willing to make a big deal about it, which means he probably accepts it, or is willing to give you some privacy. I once had this happen when my brother discovered something on my computer. I flat-out denied and he didn't ask any further. (And I got better at covering my tracks :icon_wink) At the time I really wasn't ready to tell him the full truth. Years later I came out to him, and he wasn't really surprised. I do like how he gave me the time to come out on my own terms, though. While this might be a good opportunity to come out, don't feel pressured! Coming out should be done because you want to, or feel the need to, not because you feel a pressure to. Just take this as a good sign for when you do decide to tell him.
My parents caught me going to MANY gay porn sites and even printing off pictures when i was in grade 7/8 Guess what happend? Nothing. I told them i was going through a phase, trying to rebel, wanted to explore the unknown, and alot of other bull-shit. (At the time i was not really secure of my sexuality, but i kinda also knew it was not a phase, so basically i just flat out lied to them) They believed me and we moved on in life, with a parental control system that would block the word "Canucks" for being racist and thats my citys hockey team. So the way i see it you have two choices. One, lie through your teeth. Your parents dont want to believe your gay, so they will generally take any way out possible and latch onto it, including any lies you feed them. Two, tell them the truth. Now i dont know how your home life is, but if your confidant in your sexuality and your parents are not blatantly opposed to homosexuality this could be a very important and very good step for you to take. They have started to open the door to confessing your gay by finding this site, now its up to you to either open it all the way or slam it in their face.
>>>Nothing. I told them i was going through a phase, trying to rebel, wanted to explore the unknown, and alot of other bull-shit. (At the time i was not really secure of my sexuality, but i kinda also knew it was not a phase, so basically i just flat out lied to them) They believed me and we moved on in life. I don't know if they believed you, or simply decided to let the matter drop. I can't speak for all parents, but I think many of them simply (as you say) crack the door open. If you choose to take the opportunity, go for it. If you'd rather not, that's up to you too. Lex
No, lol, I was just saying I had it happened to me, and he asked if it happened before. So I said "Yes", and I covered all my tracks, for it to happened. And they dropped the topic.
I've never been caught. I always make sure to clear my history and stuff, even though I have my own PC which is password protected and all. Hopefully they won't cause a problem with it.
So, I am pretty certain my dad knows it was me who went on the porn site. Over the past few days something tells me he knows or thinks im gay. I feel like he has always suspected it, in fact I know he did when I was a teen and never got a girlfriend. Whenever my sister uses the word gay like "that's gay" he kind of laughs it off and says "oh annie". I think the next step is to come out. I am moving halfway across the country this week and wont be back until probably christmas. I feel like writting a letter might be the best option. I dont know if he told my mom that he found the porn site or not. I kind of hope he did. I guess in a strange way it is kind of a relief that he found the site because it atleast puts the idea of having a gay son in his head. That way when I come out it shouldnt be such a shock. I just hope it all goes well whenever I choose to do it. There is a definate negative conotation with gay in my family. They are very accepting but my uncle kind of fucked some stuff up for me. He came out when he was in his forties after marying my moms sister and having three kids. It would not have been a big deal if he had come out in the right way but he handled it extremely poorly... thought he was the victim, never talked to his wifes parents, was generally unpleasant throughout the entire divorce. This left a sour taste in a few family members mouths. Oh well I guess. Its really strange hidding in the closet for all this time thinking that if anyone knows your life will just end right there. Granted I have a ton of straight friends and would hope nothing would change between us but part of me feels like I have been making a much bigger deal out of coming out than it needs to be. I went to an all guys school from 6th-12th grade so that didnt help me accept being gay. I guess im venting now.
well even if your dad did not stumble on gay porn he would still in some ways suspect you may be gay. My Dad has never caught me using gay porn, but still suspects me as being gay. I believe for most people to come out to their parents it would not come as a complete surprise to them.
I believe he knows. Most of the time the parents know. But if you are not 100 percent ready to tell your parents then don't. There isn't a rush. But telling them before you leave, I Think, would be good. It would give them time to accept it if they have a problem and if they don't you will leave feeling even more positive. Oh yeah i left some profile names by the computer once and I don't know how my mom found the website but she did and typed in the names and she was surprised. but she deals with it now. she wants me to be happy. i believe your parents would want the same for you. good luck. keep us posted.
I did the covering my tracks thing. A few times stuff popped up but I played it off as a prank. Eventually the truth came out and he joked about it my brother I mean...
