i have posted here before, just wondering how or if i should come out to my family. friends have been great, but the family thing is killing me. i know i'm not alone in this. i know my experience is nowhere near unique. i was talking to my lady a while ago, (thank goodness we're open like this) - we were discussing how hard this all is for us. the lying, changes etc...and i dont think its hard at all, im struggling with the loneliness. when we're in public, i cant show that this is my lady! i have to keep referring to her as my friend at home. family finds it odd that i have such a close close friendship, that i want to spend all my free time with her. i kissed her for the first time in public, at a gay club in town...it was beautiful....and i havent shared that with the people closest to me. this is lonely. and i hate it. i dont want to come out, out of deep dislike or hating how im living - i'd rather come out, when i'm ready to handle everyone else's emotions. especially my family. i'm struggling with this emptiness inside of me. this void, where i feel i cant connect with my family, the people who made me. i dont know anymore. i want to get away, anywhere, but how exactly will that help. anyone...anyone have any thoughts? does this get easier? is there some sort of coping mechanism thats worked for you? are you in the same boat...please.
I don't know if we are ever prepared. That aftermath is alot easier and it is completely normal to be on edge before you come out to your family. Just do it when you do it, it gets easier after that I'm telling you.
I understand completely. I want to tell my parents. I know my Mom and my Sister would be ok. But, I also know that this would drive an even bigger rift between me and my father, so I figure I'll tell them when I'm ready.
I think we build up people's reactions in our head until they become the worst thing imaginable and then the aftermath isn't as bad as we imagine but i totally agree you should only come out when your totally 100% ready and lonliness is a feeling we all get but eventually it passes you just have to weather the storm so to speak
I am going through something similiar. I was walking through the mall the other day with my bf and he said "Do you want to hold hands?" I felt a sudden pang of sadness. I said no because there was a guy from my school walking behind us with some random girl I don't know. I felt guilty and upset. We can't show our "togetherness" anywhere, except in private, and even then our parents are strict - it is very hard to find a private moment for ourselves. Worst, sometimes you feel like you just want to show him off, but you can't. It sucks to be under 18 so we can't go clubbing and dancing with each other and have our own cars to visit each other, but we just holding on to what we have. I have an idea for you: Draw up a list on a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle and list all the pros and cons of your relationship. Under "Pros", put everything you love about your partner, the joy it brings you and how it has benefitted/changed your life. On the "Cons" side, write down the tolls of the relationship. Once you are done, focus on the Pros of the relationship instead of the negatives and try and remember how happy she makes you. Unfortunately, in order to have one thing, you have to sacrifice another - but in this case that is temporary. You'll be able to come out one day. You will know because you will feel ready.(*hug*) Good luck - I hope this helps.
shittt... at least u got somebody. im all alone... no boyfriend yet and i think it will get easier. not perfect, but it gets easier. listen to what everyone else is sayin^ they give good advice
