My parents and family express hate toward me. I am a teenage lesbian. I am scared to come out because I already feel unloved. I want to one day get married and have a family, but how can I? I would comfortably call myself suicidal seriously. My brother is a sex offender, has raped many girls including my own sister. I was sexually assaulted 4 times myself, my mother is anerexic and tiny, and I am the outcast. Sometimes i cannot stand being gay and young because I have to live day by day knowing that nobody loves me and that my life will end someday soon. I have nobody to talk to. Nobody who cares. I can't survive one day without a serious thought or plan for suicide or serious self harm. My family and relatives besides my brother are perfect. Never has there been one gay or different person ever. I am already different as it is for my being a masculine girl. I am completely broken hearted all around. I have not slept more than 4 hours per night for weeks, months. I am always lonely. My home is not safe. My brother beats my mom up and he threatens her and uses hard drugs. They won't let me call the police. And today I had a girl, who had told me she liked me repeatedly, over my house. She later texted me to say that it definitely wont work out and she listed many reasons why i am a horrible person. I bawled my eyes out and I realized that maybe I'm not meant to live. If there is anyone out there who thinks I am worth helping, please help me. I need it. If you don't care, that is fine too. ~Julia :tears:
(*hug*) suicide is never the answer. please don't do it. we are all here to help each. we have all in some way gone through some of the things you are going through. i myself don't really have the love and support from my family that i want or need but then i log on here and see all these amazing people open to talking and helping me. i know life seems hard right now but please don't hurt yourself. we are all here to help you. we are all here to save you. please don't hurt yourself. write on my wall if u need to talk. i will be there. (*hug*)
Hi, i read your comment and i just want to tell you that you're definately not alone. We all suffer in different ways, but we do suffer greatly. We all have thought or will think of commiting suicide at one point but believe me, it's not the best answer because there is hope even in the darkest moments. Please don't. There's plenty of more to live for.
Suicide isn't the way to go, sweetheart! How long is it until you can move out? Please don't throw away the rest of your life for the sake of the period of time until you can get out on your own. Is there somewhere else you can go? Any friends or extended family you could stay with? If you really need someone to talk with you personally, you could try The Trevor Project, which is a suicide hotline for LGBT youth. You're not in a good place now, no, but it can always get better. It's hard being young and living with a family that doesn't support you, but you're not always going to be dependent on them! It sounds to me like as soon as you can get away from them, the better, and once you do that you'll have the power to make your life better. And to address a few points in your post individually... Well, for one thing, same-sex marriage is legal in Massachusetts. =) And in a few other states, if you don't want to stay there. As for families, there is always adoption, and considering the fact that you're female, artificial insemination's an option as well. It's a bit more challenging to have kids when you prefer the same sex, but it is by no means impossible! Being gay doesn't mean you don't get to have a loving family, by any means. There are loads of happy families headed by same-sex parents. Nobody is perfect, and being gay does not mean that you are somehow less perfect than anyone else. Period. "Perfection" is a harmful ideal - who sets the standards for what's perfect? What makes you happy may be entirely different from what makes someone else happy - that doesn't mean one is better than the other. So you're gay, so what? If it's a negative for the people around you, that is their problem, not yours. You are doing nothing wrong, you're just you. Please, don't feel bad for being who you are. Is there someone else you can go to? A school counselor, a principal? You really, really need to talk to someone who can help you with this situation. If sexual assault and drugs are involved, you really need to get out of there as soon as you can. You are meant to live, and you are worth it, sweetie, you're just in a really bad situation. Don't let it defeat you, alright? You are not the problem, the problem is being in such a bad place. I have every confidence that if you get into a better situation, your life will get so much better. Please, don't hurt yourself. We're here for you. =)
Please don't harm yourself in any way. Like GhostDog said Maybe you can go to a school counselor they can't stop you from talking to someone there. Everyone on EC is here to help, you can write on my wall anytime if you want to talk (*hug*)
i know you feel life has got the best of you, but you cant give up. PLEASE dont hurt yourself you are a good person and i know it hard to deal with whats going on with your family. You need to tell someone someone at school or a friends someone. EC is here for you and we do care and want to help. if you need to chat write on my wall i would love to help with what i can. take care and good luck
there are people out there to help, childline, social services, hell you can even go down the legal route and get emancipated if life at home really is that bad, i just think that you need to get away from all of that and then see how you feel, and screw anyone that puts you down, of course your life is worth living, and one day, in a few years, you can write a fantastic book about it, or help those who have been through similar situations, there is a point to your life, just don't give up, after everything you have already been through, don't give up now, i admire you for coping for this long. I hope things get better, just remember you are not alone. mat
