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one parent down, one to go... sorta

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by paul7836, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. paul7836

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    Well. I finally got tired of my mom asking me why i wasent acting like myself. And Told her. She told me the story of her first marriage, yes that one that we aren't supposed to talk about, and im not supposed to know happened... Long story short, he broke her heart by coming out to her, and dying of AIDS that same year. She left the marriage with nothing even though the guy was very rich. Anyway. So now she is asking me all these questions like who else knows, and did i give myself enough time, and who do you have a crush on, and how do i know that im gay. I dont know how to answer these questions... Im begining to think i shouldent have told her... :bang: :bang:
     
  2. George1

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    Ouch! Very tough situation. Personally I think that it may just be a case of her worrying about you, and she may have an impression of gays as sleazy, deceitful guys (which is so very wrong).

    And also, this may just be her way of going through the "denial" phase of coming out to parents. The way she is treating you with this though isn't very nice...

    Or it may be a thing about STDs. Bleh... My mother would probably do the same sort of thing with me if she found out. It may just be temporary.
     
  3. TriBi

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    Well - I think the encouraging thing is that she has shared some of her deep secrets with you as well.

    While she may appear to be questioning you about "how sure are you" I would have to say that sharing a secret like the one she has would not be something that someone who didn't love and care for you could ever bring themselves to do.

    Just give her time - make her aware of how sure you are and why - and I would think she will come around. She has past experiences that have deeply affected her own life that she has endeavored to explain to you - so I think you just have to be open and honest with her and let events take their course - and understand why this is also difficult for her.
     
  4. paul7836

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    I guess i didnt make it clear. She understood why he couldent be with her. And she dosent think of us as sleezy. She is trained in psychology, so she understands a bit more than most folks. (I even found a book about homosexual relationships in her bookcase once.)
     
  5. beckyg

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    Paul, I think this conversation you had with your mom went pretty well actually and I think it's GREAT that you chose to have that with her at the mere age of 13! I think you've probably saved yourself alot of heartache and suffering going through adolesence with a secret. Congratulations!
     
  6. Sam

    Sam
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    congrats! the situation with your mom is a normal reaction, my mom acted the same way by bombarding me with the same kind of questions. She'll stop soon but honestly if you have a conversation and answer at least some of the questions (no matter how embarrassing) then it will help her to stop.
     
  7. beckyg

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  8. jroakwood

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    well. to look on the bright side.
    it couldve gone alot worse.

    besides the story, it doesnt seem that bad.
    i mean, id rather have my mom ask questions than not wanna talk to me at all.
    in fact, i hope my mom wants to talk about it.

    all i can say is, dont shut her out.
    just answer at least some of the questions and i dont think it will last long.
    she'll soon be used to it im sure.

    but congrats, i havent done it yet. so good job.
    good luck with your pa too.
     
  9. paul7836

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    Thanks everyone for your encouragement.

    I think my pa is going to react in a much different way. So im going to wait a while.:icon_wink