my instincts were right.

so it's been a long time since i've post something here in EC. i just had my own personal laptop. sry.

so this is my first time posting about this things so maybe i could share it so it could lightened me up.

i just found out that the one i had crushing on was bi or i duno gay. it was back in high school that I questioned my sexuality because of him. and that's the reason i joined the CAT/military training so I could spend time with him. he didn't become my classmate coz he was really smart and very popular. he join too much contest in high school so i didn't get my hopes up. it was more like an admiration at first. but whenever im with him. we became close coz of our training. im very touchy to girls haha. i mean i always wants a girl holding my hand and hugging me i dunno becoz they smell great and soft haha but i never had a gf. so we become close and i find myself being touchy with him BUT he never reacted at it. i mean if your straight you should freak out or something but he just let me. and im very straight acting that whenever i fool around he just keep quiet at most times. that's when i noticed maybe he isn't straight.

so ok to the point. my close guy friend which i thought straight came up to me and said that he had loved domebody that i wouldn't freak out and when i asked who, it was the guy that i had crushing on AND they had physical contact already and yes that mean sex. i was shocked at first but relieved at the same time coz i want to get over him. and i finally got the answer. learning that he was bi/gay made me lose my feelings to him completely.

and the same moment my close friend txtd me that the guy txted some quotes and asked him directly and he just said he was just curious. he used to text me all the time. but after that we lost contact anymore.


well, i don't feel bad or sad just i regret it. coz i sacrificed some things just for him. and i promised myself i would never fall for a guy again. that is of course if someone came up.

btw, tnx.