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Mom troubles

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by motleyjunkie, Jul 16, 2009.

  1. motleyjunkie

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    Ok so yea I really have no idea what to do in this situation. I'm just so confused. Ok so my mom is really over protective of me despite the fact I'm almost 18 and going to college. I still have my v-card and I'm proud of having it, but she is also so crazy protective about that too.
    So about a month or two ago I met this guy named Allen. He walked up to me and called me beautiful and told me all kinds of sweet things. Well I really didn't think much of it. We exchanged numbers and we started talking. He's 20 years old and he's in a band. He also has a kid, and has been married...they are separated now just not legally divorced. He smokes weed, which is kinda a no-no in my book but who am I to judge?
    Yea and I'm one of those girls that just doesn't ever have a relationship because they are to much of a hastle. Anyways so yea that's why I began talking to him and going out on dates with him just so I could have a "summer fling". Before that though I was basically making out with different people every night.
    Then I really got to know him...he is the first guy I've met that actually told me he was OK with me being a virgin and I actually believed it. He didn't try any shady moves like most guys would.
    Well time went on and my mom eventually found out he had a kid...and he had his status as "high" on myspace. She basically went ballistic. She told me I was grounded for lying to her and that i had to take a drug test when I got home (I was visiting my brother at the time). She didn't ground me but she did drug test me. Which I don't do drugs but watever.
    So yea I broke it off with him and this was about two or three weeks ago. Which in a way I kinda agreed with her...I don't need to date a guy with a kid I'm to young for all that BS. A couple of days went by and I just couldn't get him off my mind.
    So now I'm basically going behind her back to see him. I have to pile lies on top of lies and I hate it. If she just knew him she wouldn't be so judgmental. It's like though I'm afraid to bring it up again because then she'll know that I've been going behind her back. I'm just scared and confused. I've never cared about anyone as much as I care for him. I use to think girls were stupid for getting caught up in guys and whatnot and look at me now I'm caught up in one. I seriously think I'm in love. I know that sounds all mushy but yea. It's like I wish she would just trust my judgment and let me do what I want. It's hard though because I'm living under her roof. She told me that if she caught me seeing him again she'd take away my car. She doesn't want me making the same mistakes she did. Another reason I thought I should break it off was because I'm going off to college and he's just sitting at him. It's like it's just one more thing that puts a stress on our relationship.
    I just don't know if I should continue lying or just come clean or break it off...i just don't know. ..Anyone have any advice? Sorry it was so long.
     
    #1 motleyjunkie, Jul 16, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2009
  2. Jekko

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    Seeing as how you're confused and actually asking us if you should break the relationship, then you're not in love with him. Therefore, trust your feelings! Break up with him seeing as how he's just a junkie sitting in the couch. You're a smart girl so move on to college and get your ed. Again, you're not in love with him it's just a crush. When you're in love, you don't question love.
     
  3. Chip

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    In this case, I think your mom is giving you good advice. You sound like a good person who is taking steps for a good future. This guy doesn't necessarily sound like the sort who will lift you up and encourage you to do better than your best, and that's what you should be after.

    I'd say let him go, and I also agree with the previous poster that the tone of your post basically indicates that you probably don't feel that strongly about him in the first place.

    Hope that helps!
     
  4. lostinthought9

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    Well, first off I want to say, in Allen's defense. That the previous posters might have gotten a misconception of Allen. He's a really nice person, that treats her right (from what I can tell). (I know this because we're RL friends)

    Well, I personally think you shouldn't have started anything with Allen to begin with, or go any further than just a "Summer Fling". BUT, you really can't ignore your feelings for someone. I also think it's unwise to start a relationship now, because you're so close to starting college. Do you think you can make a long-distance relationship work?
    AND, you basically said it yourself, you're too young to deal with all the BS that comes with dating a guy that has a child.

    My opinion? Break it off. I know that sounds harsh, but I honestly wouldn't have said it if I thought the relationship could work. And, as far as your mom, the decision is ultimately yours, not hers.

    (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)