I'm not getting married since I'm too young and of course haven't found the right lady yet, lol. But a cousin of mine is getting married to her male fiance. I was invited along with my parents and sis. I want to go but everyone wants me to wear a dress--which I can't stand even though I know I look ok in them. It just makes me feel so uncomfortable and I would rather wear a feminine suit or dress shirt or something(if I had to). I've just come out this past spring to my immediate family and my close friends know as well about my sexuality (though I haven't told the rest of my family). So... I'm asking for your advice, please... help me out here. What should I do? The wedding is in a couple months.
If your cousin accepts you then do what would be more appropriate. If you wear the suit then your cousin aftermath will think you didn't respect her marriage to keep it her day- not your day. Others will think the same. But you know your family best. The fiancé family may even be worse. Being gay doesn't stop you from being a woman. I'm still a man and I still wear pants rather than dresses. Unless of course you're not just gay but more then it's a different case.
I say wear what you're comfortable in. If you don't, you'll feel self conscious the whole time and it will ruin your night. No one is really going to care if you're not wearing a dress, just as long as what you wear is wedding-appropriate.
just tell them how you feel and how uncomfortable you feel they maybe want you to wear a dress to look feminie and everything but like you said a nice dress skirt or something i'm sure your family can come up with some alternatives
Hmm... I know. I think it's just the fear of the cousin's family and my aunt and uncle's time or them asking why I would turn up looking like that (thus almost outting myself without needing to say anything at a time when it should be about the wedding).
Sorry Jack, just had to point out a few things I think if anything, she'll be low key, and not trying to steal the spotlight. She's not showing up in coattails and a top hat. Being a woman doesn't necessarily mean she has to wear a dress either. I've known straight women who have worn pants and looked completely appropriate at a wedding.
Yeah I am just thinking about her family views because they want her to wear a dress. I just think it's her cousin day most of all and if my cousin worn a dress than pants just for me then I then that's a great cousin. (I'm not really going to care if she worn pants at that wedding though).
Would you consider wearing a skirt? That could be a sort of compromise, if you're more comfortable in a skirt than a dress. Honestly though, a nice blouse should please everyone. A feminine suit seems perfectly normal, too.
I'd go with a formal blouse and a skirt, like others have suggested. But, do what you feel is right. Hope all things go well
Wedding day tends to be "let the bride (and groom) set the rules" day. If they want you in a dress, I'd try to abide by that. Since you have a few months, perhaps take the time to shop and find a dress you might feel OK in. If you really can't find anything you feel comfortable in, the skirt/blouse combo would probably be acceptable. You might want to talk to the bride-to-be to see if that'd be acceptable. ("I actually don't own a dress, but I do have a skirt/blouse combo that I really like. Would that be OK?") Lex
Just wear what you feel comfortable in noone will read anything in to it trust me, lot of straight girls I know refuse to wear dresses it doesn't mean any thing.
I'd want to get the bride's input on this. You could try taking her aside and quietly saying something like "I'm not a big fan of dresses, I was wondering what you'd think about my wearing a suit or the like to the wedding. I'm happy to wear a dress if you think it's essential, but if you think a suit would be appropriate I'd feel more comfortable wearing that." You don't have to say anything about being gay, just that dresses aren't your thing.
As the others said, it's best to go with what the bride and groom want. It's their party, after all. Though of course, you couls send them a picture and ask what they think about it. Though, I'll admit, being a man is easier. Just grab a suit or a tux and you're done...
