Does it ever feel better?

It will get better when you decide to go get help. Being afraid to see the doctor isn't a reason to continue feeling lousy. Trust me, doctors can work miracles. There are medications that can help as well as therapy. They put me on Lexapro for depression (although my diagnosis is more complex than depression).

I've had the same therapist for the past 4 years and she has helped me in more ways than one might possibly imagine. Psychiatrist is a different story, but I'm switching to another one soon closer to my college.

 

Yes, and no. i've had depression since 2005. With my liver disease, hip problems, and now my sexuality.. It's gotten worse. It is tending to get a little better. Throughout all of this, I've become very private, don't feel like talking to anyone about it, and am afriad to as well.

Hang in there... It'll get better.

 

Time changes things. If it doesn't change the causes of your depression, it might change your outlook on these things.

Doctors help. But they're not the only source of help. If you don't want to see one (which is something I totally understand, even though we know it's not the most wise choice), you can work on fixing the things that are making you depressed. Or perhaps get someone who you can talk to about these things to take a weight off your shoulders.

It will change.

 

Things can change. I went for about 5 years of increasing anxiety problems without seeing anyone, and seeing someone has helped. If you don't want to... you can get some pretty good self-help books. Go check out what is available at the library. But sometimes you just need a bit of extra/external help.

 

Well I didn't need a doctor.

I was severely depress from October-May 2009..... I got journal writings of this under my bed. Then I went from depress to normal to okay with life, since I think I am God's gift to Earth (that's something different). Well I was sleeping all the time for those months, did no homework (I manage decent grades because I am intelligent enough to pass the classes without the work), but it hurt my grades, but at the end I don't care because I am not depress anymore.

My self esteem is at its peak, but I know I need to lose weight, but I am hot regardless. My moods went better after I started focusing on my future rather than the present, and really after I got a job. I think getting a job helps you a lot, since it gives you a good self accomplishment feeling...

maybe get a job? (unless you have one then I don't know)

 

I've been in some very dark places while growing up, having two major periods of depression during most of high school and my last few years of uni. Up until a couple of years ago I never told anyone about how depressed I was feeling and I never looked for help.

But things do get better, right now I'm happier than I've ever been and I think that's because things had gotten so bad that I needed to change the way I was living. I was stuck in a course that I hated and was isolated from everyone I cared about. So I booked in a couple of sessions with a therapist (which believe me was not easy as I am an incredibly shy and anxious person but I felt I had no other option), and even though I wasn't there for too long, it definitely helped just being able to unload all my problems on someone else. She gave me some pretty good advice and we were able to identify a few of the reasons I was so unhappy

Since then I changed my course to something that I really wanted to do, which challenged me to work on things I had struggled with over the years such as self-confidence and interacting with other people. As time went on I became much more confident with myself and in turn that made my life a lot easier and a lot more fun.

I definitely recommend talking to someone, whether it's a therapist or someone else in your life, if nothing else talking about your problems gives you a sense that you've dealt with it and can move on. It'll help you to identify what steps you can take to make your life better for you. It's hard work and it takes a lot of time, but things can get better for you.

 

Aw.. your only 19?? with a liver disease and hip problem? (*hug*)

 

I've been depressed most of my life.... and stressed, I don't tell anyone since I keep to my self, I don't go to the docs because.. I don't know I always think they don't even care.. and things won't work out for me... I tend to be those people that when things works for other people but not for me.

 

I'm going to tell you to go and see your doctor anyway. You're doctor is your advocate with respect to your health and well being. If you aren't willing to see your doctor when something is wrong, then there isn't much that anyone can do for you.

I strongly encourage you to see your doctor, and then to get a referal to a therapist / cousellor. Perhaps your parents work for a company with an 'employee wellness program' because often there is counselling available free of charge. (That's how I started.)

I credit my doctor and my therapist with saving my life. I was prepared to end it, I was so depressed. And now, I'm happier than I've ever been. But like someone else above has said, I got to the point where I knew I needed to do something, because life had become so bad that anything was going to help.

The thing is, you don't need to let it get that bad! Go to your doctor now! Talk to them about what's going on. Don't go on medication right away if you don't want to. There are other things to do. But at least you're starting a dialogue with them and taking concrete action to improve your situation.

 

>>>So long story short, I've been depressed for the better part of about 2 years. And no one's really noticed, and I don't think they ever will. (Don't tell me to see a doctor cause I never will cause I'm too afraid too) God, I hate feeling so goddamn miserable all the time. So. Does it ever get better?

Maybe. Maybe not.

If you've been depressed for the better part of two years, chances are you're actually suffering from clinical depression. Clinical depression is a medical condition, just the same as stomach ailments and broken bones. And medical conditions are - if I may be blunt - YOUR problem. It's not up to friends or family to notice that your stomach is killing you, or that it hurts like hell to put weight on your right foot. That's something YOU notice, and that's something that YOU have to take the initiative to do something about. The pain and suffering MIGHT go away on its own, but when it's been weeks, months, years, the chances of it simply "getting better" are diminishing.

So - not just to the OP, but everyone who posted in this thread with similar stories - if things aren't getting better, stop waiting for them to get better. You can get proactive. YOU can take steps NOW to help get yourself out of the depression.

There are two basic ways of tackling depression - medically and psychologically. And it's not always clear which path is best (or if a combination of both would be better). I've had two bouts of depression - one in 1994, and one last year. The first one I tried tackling on my own, with just a bit of help from a therapist (I went twice). And I DID emerge, but it took a long time, and it wasn't exactly a pleasant trek. The second one I went the medical route. It seemed to be the right move, since actually everything in my life was pretty good - I liked my jobs, my relationships, everything. I went to see my doctor, and she suggested a mild anti-depressant. It was very mild - it took about a week to kick in, I didn't get "zombied out", and I had very few side effects. But it helped immeasurably. It made the path much easier, and I weaned myself off the pills fairly easily.

Being depressed is nothing to be ashamed of. It's a common problem, and I don't believe in pretending that it's not happening. When people break their legs, they don't hobble to work without crutches and pretend everything is perfect. They use the crutches, and say "Yeah, it's broken, so I have to wear this cast for the next couple of weeks." Upfront, no big deal, life goes on. So I treated my depression the same way. My friends, my family, my co-workers - anyone I talked to on a regular basis knew. "Yeah, I've been struggling with depression, so I saw my doctor, and put me on some medication. It's starting to help, which is great." Upfront, no big deal, life goes on. And although a couple may have been a bit surprised by the revelation, nobody flipped out. They showed some concern, and wished me well.

Depression happens. But you don't have to give in to it. You CAN fight it. And you almost certainly WILL get better results by being proactive than you will sitting around waiting for things to get better.

Lex

 

I Agree with Lex and know from experience (lots of it with depression) that you have to do something about it before it gets better. Keeping yourself busy is really important, Medication and therapy are a massive relief to help sort through problems. At the beginning of my depression someone could have shot me in the foot and i wouldn't have said anything and i was always shy and quiet when it came to dealing with my dad. Thinking towards the future works wonders. I went from sleeping 70% of the day and playing video games the rest to working out, preparing for college, and perusing a job and generally as long as i stay with my medication i find i am more open, and generally happy.
GO TO A THERAPIST get some meds, sort through your problems. Journal, talk to a friend, go to an online chat room, talking about it does wonders. And as Lex said with "the better part of two years" you probably are suffering from clinical depression. It is tough but i promise you it will work out. I used to daydream about getting killed in car accidents every car ride i took, think about what would be the easiest way to off myself, don't let it get that bad. It sucks and it makes recovering very hard. I nearly trashed my GPA when i hit that part of my life i sported 150 absences over the course of 2 years of school and almost had to retake the grade. DONT LET STUFF GET LIKE THAT.
The only thing i regret about going to a therapist and getting meds is that i didn't fess up to things a lot sooner. I feel where your coming from and it can be bad but it will get better if you want it to.