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Losing you hurts so bad. The love of my life.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by downboyup, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. downboyup

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    I miss you Patrick, I miss you a lot, Pat

    I miss being able to say 'I love you' and I miss being held.

    The smell of you, upon your pillow, your shirt, your skin.

    The ready smile, the funny joke for everyone, and your welcoming manner.

    You listened to me, understood me and also cared. bought me thoughtful presents.

    I miss you talking about 'our children' about your son, and my daughter, and calling them our kids, our family, our life.

    I miss your body - warm and handsome and perfect.

    Shopping - routine groceries is not the same.

    I loved shopping for Birthdays and Xmas for our kids.

    I miss your flirting and the play fighting.

    You loved every movie I chose for us to watch.

    All the bbqs, our friends.

    I miss the SMSes that played throughout the day, working out the everyday details of living.

    I miss that you could fix anything mechanical.

    I loved u looking at me when I come out of the shower. I miss the towel around you and the hint of what's under, and the look of you when you walk away.

    I loved cooking for all 4 of us, and now it is just 2.

    I long to be with you again, and see the empty rooms vacantly.

    I miss 'our' son - he brought so much life to this house - mischief, adventure and play.

    It has been 2 weeks since you left. We all 4 hugged at the front door and enough tears to fill a bathtub. You left and I broke, our daughter wailed and stayed quiet for a day.

    u took away her brother and her friend.

    I cant see you yet, nor read what you have written, nor talk. I have told you this, and u understand, u see the wound is too great, and i have no desire to keep it open.

    I understand your reason to move on, and I wish you the very best.

    I am better for having known you. I am better for having loved you and I am better for having learned from you.

    I will keep track of where you are and where you go through many lifetimes, and when the time is right once more, I will be there and at your side.

    Thankyou. I will never ever forget the best 7 years of my life.

    I love you Pat.
     
  2. CrimsonThunder

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    Thats sad, at first I thought he died but at the end it seems you broke up. Hope you're ok man.
     
  3. paul7836

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    It brings tears to my eyes. I hope you are going to be ok.
     
  4. wtinal

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    Wow. that is really sweet. it makes me sad for you. take good care of yourself while you are grieving this loss.
     
  5. Sam

    Sam
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    I am so sorry. I really do wish you the best in getting through this. We are all here to help you if you need it.
     
  6. careandrespect

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    downboyup,

    I have no words to take away the pain, but as was mentioned before know that you have our support. Also as you had mentioned consider the time that you had together as a gift and keep the memories. Take it one day at a time.

    careandrespect
     
  7. JSG

    JSG Guest

    I wish you both the very best, you must be heart broken.
    You're story is very moving and i wish you the best of luck going through this sad moment in your life.
    (*hug*)
     
  8. downboyup

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    Thankyou.
    Writing various posts here has helped so much over the past week or so. I am glad to know you all.
     
  9. SpikySpice

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    You are welcome, you see, just let out and write out all the thoughts in your mind, can help you feel lots of better:slight_smile:
     
  10. GuitarGirl1350

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    I'm really sorry. You must be heartbroken =[ especially after seven years.
    If you ever need to talk, you can PM me =] I know I'm only 16 but I'm still willing to help.
     
  11. TriBi

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    Are you going to be able to maintain a friendship - or would you find that too hard?

    Were your kids also good friends? Even tougher on everyone if that is the case.

    Hang in there - you have my sympathy - and certainly the good thought and support of the folk here. (*hug*)
     
  12. downboyup

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    He is my best friend, just too hard to maintain friendship at this point, so i am holding him off. i have to wait a bit. Our kids were born 3 weeks apart, they both are now 11. both of us were married and all were very close, being neighbours. with our kids raised virtually together. when kids were 3 both our marriages broke up within 3 months of each other. First I helped him through his break and then he through mine. we both got the kids as our exes chose to move out after having affairs. Our kids are are best friends, and we referred to them as brother and sister and family.
    our love however remains strong and it is acknowledged between us as such. He however has more straight tendencies than gay, and he is heading that way. I cant change that. it is just the way it is.
    He has left a small window to return and kept all his stuff here at our house, despite moving to another city, another state. we are also contractually in the middle of building a new house, so we have to have some connection, even if on paper. when finished we will probably sell.
    I wrote that all without a tear. thanks for the question. thankyou for listening. maybe it is all getting better now......
    so many times i have had to make new futures.... guess I gotta do over again.
     
  13. beckyg

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    (*hug*) Those are feelings that you only experience when you have shared a great love with someone. I'm sorry things turned out this way.
     
  14. CrimsonThunder

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    You're posts are great, I learn a lot from you and you have a lot of perfect advice. Well done. =)
     
  15. downboyup

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    tku crimson thunder. i love reading your friendly posts. :kiss:
     
  16. Blueeyes

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    that was heart wrenching :frowning2: I hope everything turns our well for you
     
  17. downboyup

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    Thankyou Blueeyes. Some days are real shit and others you kind of just get on with it.
    it gets empty, and today was bad especially when get home.
    i am a relationship lover, and a family man. this is the 4th major one and the longest.
    I wanna grow old with someone, and comfortable and reminise about good times.
    good luck to you.
     
  18. Evilmonkey

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    whoa dude thats deep. i wish you, and you daughter well.
    it is, as they say, better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
     
  19. Psych!

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    wow man that's deep, i am so sorry to hear that such a long lasting relationship has ended, but life goes on and you still have your loved ones and they love u back. (&&&)
     
  20. Gera-Kun

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    ... sad...can't imagine that happening to me...i cry for you man!