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I feel disgusted about myself now... (not really but kinda)

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Jack2009, Jul 29, 2009.

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  1. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    I just found out my mother's (ex)boyfriend was having affairs with men (transvestites).

    I don't even know what to think because of this... I never thought he was gay. I hate the man before this though, but with this, I don't think I am ever going to come out. I hate my real father more than him though. I think it way more of a fetish than anything else, it just grosses me out.

    I feel like this was the most nasty thing a person could do, and I said "those are freak of natures", ever though that's mean to say and trannys are not the same as transsexuals.

    I just found out within the last 20 minutes, but we ended the conversation because people came in. If I come out now, then she might associate me with him *in a subconscious way*, or might think he had an affect on me. And I know tranny different than being gay, but its still men.
     
    #1 Jack2009, Jul 29, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2009
  2. seadog

    seadog
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    That really drags. Don't let the bastards keep you down! Some seem to dress like girls for fun. Others because they identify with being more feminine. I've even encountered some guys who get real bitchy when they dress up as women. It used to gross me out, but lately I've come around to the point of being happy to allow others to express themselves as they see fit. Since drag used to gross me out too I know how you feel.
     
    #2 seadog, Jul 29, 2009
  3. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    Well drag queens don't gross me out, but I guess anything with a transvestite does. A drag queen is like comedy (I don't find them necessarily funny), but a transvestite is serious is the best way to describe it. I think the ones he met had disease and everything.

    I hate what he did to my mother too, and he's sick. He's not a transvestite, but he's having sex with them.
     
    #3 Jack2009, Jul 29, 2009
  4. Numfarh

    Numfarh Guest

    Whoa whoa WHOA.
    You need to shift into reverse and back the hell up.
    I understand that you are angry with the exboyfriend (and indeed you should be). He cheated on your mother and left you feeling betrayed.
    But transvestites (cross-dressers) are not evil people. They are not "dirty" or "crazy". Having sex with cross-dressers does not make one sick (although cheating is another story entirely). This weird division you've drawn between transvestites and drag queens is silly.
    And I highly doubt that your mother is going to think her ex "turned you to teh gay". Especially since you were gay before this whole ordeal came into the open.

    :dry: I think you need to rethink your opinions of cross-dressers and gender conformity.
     
    #4 Numfarh, Jul 29, 2009
  5. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    That's why I said it's mean to think that. I see nothing wrong with them by themselves, I think he was sick, in this way. I think it's like some sick fetish he had for a guy who dress as a woman.
     
    #5 Jack2009, Jul 29, 2009
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2009
  6. Numfarh

    Numfarh Guest

    But that's the thing. It's NOT sick to be attracted to men who cross-dress.
    I mean, I'm not sick and I love when men dress as woman. I think it's so hot.
     
    #6 Numfarh, Jul 29, 2009
  7. Jack2009

    Jack2009 Guest

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    He's a sick guy. More than what I'm going to talk about him.
     
    #7 Jack2009, Jul 29, 2009
  8. Chip

    Chip
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    Jack is focused on what he said in anger, and realizes that it wasn't appropriate. We all say things that come out of our shadow, or unconscious, from time to time.

    I agree with you, Corina, that those statements are inappropriate but I think what's going on here is Jack is upset/surprised about the situation with his mom's ex, and equally upset that he said some mean things. I think what we're seeing here is more about projection than hatred of transsexuals or transvestites.

    I think if we give him a little space and time he'll come to the right conclusion; one can't hang around EC very long without realizing that negative opinions about transgender people are simply misplaced.
     
    #8 Chip, Jul 29, 2009
  9. malachite

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    Don't let the actions of others affect who you view yourself. You're both gay, but so are plenty of people here. Your sexuality isn't the only thing that defines you. You need to take some time to just be angry. Be mad at your step father, hate him, then move on. Don't let this destroy your life. If you do you give up the fight without even trying.
     
    #9 malachite, Jul 29, 2009
  10. Jekko

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    I don't think it's your oppurtinity to come out now... think of your mother! It's already too much to handle. And i totally understand about the subconciously being suspicious part so it really wouldn't be the best time..
    hey i wish u the best!
     
    #10 Jekko, Jul 30, 2009
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