Coming out over the phone?

I think it would be fine if you have no other option to seeing him.

 

I came out to a boy I used to keep company with, over the phone. It didn't go over well. Come out to your boyfriend over the phone if there is no other alternative, or tell him after the Family Values meeting, maybe pull him aside after everyone is leaving.

 

Personally, I would use the phone only as an "Alternate Plan B" sort of thing. If you can't see him in person, I would consider some form of written communication first, preferably a genuine handwritten letter, but barring that, some electronic form, such as an email. The reason I say this is that in communication, there are certain expectations for response based upon the communication medium. Face to face is, of course, the gold standard, but barring that, a handwritten letter in today's society shows that you have put a degree of effort into the communication, showing that you are serious in intent and that you feel the person is worth the effort it takes to write a letter. Although there is no expectation of observable emotional response, the recipient can understand and reread your heartfelt words and draw upon them. From there, an email, although less personal, carries less expectation of response because there can be no audible tone or body language communicated via email (like with a letter). However, the level of effort is less, so it is less personal. Moving down the food chain, the instant message, in my opinion, is next. It allows for direct and instantaneous communication, but because there are no other emotional cues connected to it, the expectations are lessened because there is very little to pull out of context. The phone, in my own personal food chain, is at the bottom when it comes to serious matters. The reason I say this is because, although the communication is instantaneous and there is audible tone of voice associated with it, it lacks the direct contact of face to face communication, which causes a sort of disconnect between the expectation of response versus the deliverable amount of response. What I mean to say by that is when telling someone something of relative import over the phone, because it is instantaneous and one can hear voice, a negative reaction can hurt more because there is no body language there and a far lessened ability to conduct "damage control." In lieu of face to face contact, I prefer written communication because then there is a lessened expectation, and it allows for additional time to digest the information being presented.

Forgive me if that is a confusing blob of text. If you have any questions, please do ask! (*hug*)

 

It made sense to me, dw...i agree with you xeguar about phone being fairly low on the "food chain" of communication....I think its cos you cant see their body language and they cant see yours....I guess this is the same with a letter or email, but at least then they have a chance to really think about their response before responding, whereas with a phone call it could get a bit awkward

 

If you don't mind can I ask you how you're transgendered? I really have no knowlege on the subject, did you get an operaction to make you a different sex?

I wouldn't say over the phone is a good idea. But if its all you can do theres nothing else to do. =[ If you're boyfriend loves you with all his heart he'll accept you.

 

I get what you are going through. You know, perhaps he would love to be with you whatever you look like on the outside. Have a look at how good it can be.
maybe you can break it to him on a gradient. you know clothes these days can be so uni sex, especially street clothes. on a lighter side you can share clothes.

get him to give you some of his clothes to wear. go out a few times dressed similar. act like his mate for a bit, not his girlfriend.

when he goes to kiss you while you dressed as a guy, joke and say 'what do you think i am gay'. he might enjoy the game.

i dunno, perhaps it doesn't have to be a serious coming out to him, perhaps you can just ease into it and have the serious discussion later.

good luck.

 

good luck. love to hear how it all goes.

 

Cheers for explaining. =)

It's great that you're happy about a relationship ending, I bet he was surprised. XD And tell us what happens when you tell him. =P

 

Well that's cool! Good for you!

 

I came out over the phone to my sister 2 days ago...it was ok i guess. coming out is a hard thing to do but even harder in person ( for me atleast )