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How to "give away" that your bi/gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by WhiteFox, Jul 30, 2009.

  1. WhiteFox

    WhiteFox Guest

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    Hey guys. well my current problem is that I am bi but I dont give the slightest hints and it leaves people thinking im str8... WHICH I DONT WANT. Im a very tough kind of guy, I hang with all st8 friends and ive even been told by many people that i look intimidating. Granted I am i think as far as the whole "tough" factor goes but still... sometimes I think to myself "I wish everyone knew so more opportunities could find me". Does anyone else have this problem? what do you think are subtle things you can do to show you swing both ways?

    Fox
     
  2. BasketCase

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    Yeah, I have that problem, not so much a 'macho' thing but I just dont give off the 'I'm gay' vibe that some do.
     
  3. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Nice to see you again Fox. :smilewave

    You don't look so scary. :slight_smile: Or it may just be I like people more who tend to look 'scary' to others, maybe. (in terms of intimidation)

    You know, I have the same problem. I'm 6"5-6"6 (depending on shoes), and black and I've been told I don't 'look' or 'act' gay. :dry: [insert overly dramatic eye roll] Everyone assumes I'm straight until I say something subtle like, "Oh, wow he's hot." And then it suddenly hits them. They usually giggle at first or look me twice over, but I haven't come across any true negativity because of that. That's one method.

    Another would be to wear a pride band or something along those lines. I know on the buses here, they identify you like that sometimes or it'll attract other LGBTQI people. They'll come find you that way, trust me. :slight_smile:

    I don't swing both ways, but hopefully that helps you. And don't worry about being a 'tough guy' all the time. Sometimes you'll intimidate LGBTQI people if you always look irate, hostile or unavailable. Just be yourself, genuinely. :thumbsup:
     
  4. Jekko

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    Hi Whitefox

    Sometimes i feel like that. But i guess maybe changing something like instead of waiting for someone to find you, why don't you take initiative and find gay people in your area. Complimenting is the best way into talking to someone. Say something like, "Hey i like your jacket." And that will get them to notice you.
     
  5. shorty

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    I suppose the best way is in what you say. What you do also gives it away over a period of time (for gay guys, not dating girls, people start to notice I guess) Dunno how as a bi guy you could do it other than saying things or flirting with guys.
     
  6. BasketCase

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    Ah nuts:eusa_doh:
     
  7. Alex19

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    everyone knows im gay. not b/c i told them, i guess the way i do things is gay... or somethin like that. so, i guess im just obvious :slight_smile: sorry i coulnt b of more help
     
  8. littledinosaurs

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    wear rainbows?
    I mean i know that's for being gay and you're bi, but there aren't really any good ways of letting the populous know you're bi without telling them. (or making out with people of different sexes all the time, but then you become stereotyped as a slut.)
    Or talk about Tila Tequila a lot?
     
  9. thevre

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    From what I've seen, it varies if your bi. Specifically, my friend was dating this closeted bi guy (he only told her, and she only told me) and he seemed like the least likely person on the planet to be bi/gay. Seriously. He's going away to boot camp soon, he's a Conservative Catholic on his FB profile, and he's just this macho dude.

    To make it easier for me to come out, and because I'm full on gay, I acted like a complete flamer for about 7 months. Then, when the time came to tell everyone, they were just like "yeah, we know." Now that most everyone knows, I don't feel like I have to act like that anymore, and I can just be myself. I still act like a flamer to people who don't know yet, though (i.e. my family.)
     
  10. Lexington

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    Simple. Bring it up in conversation. Next time people are talking about dating or their girlfriends, say "I think it's time I tried to find a guy to date."

    There. Done.

    Lex
     
  11. Owen

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    Wearing pride bands is a good suggestion, especially if you don't give any other outward signs. You could also try acting flirtatious with guys you meet, if only jokingly. Who knows? Someone may flirt back.
     
  12. GhostDog

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    Heh, I've given myself away in political discussions quite a lot lately. Basically whenever discussions about gay rights comes up, I work it in that, yes, I have a personal stake in this.

    And I'll talk about actresses I find cute occasionally, that may be a good way to drop hints.

    Also! Rainbows! I have a cute little rainbow friendship bracelet that my friend made me, when I came to visit her and go to Pride. =D It's unobtrusive, but obvious enough. Also, shiny rainbow sticker on the back of my car. And there's an album of photos of me and friends at Pride day on Facebook, that's good too.

    There's also bisexual pride stuff, usually blue/purple/pink things. It's not as recognizable as rainbows, but anyone involved in the LGBT community will probably recognize it. =D
     
  13. stratavos

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    rainbow bracelett or necklace... and stating when a cute/hot guy passes, same with girls. To get that you're bi across, you'd need to be fairly/mostly equal about those comments.

    It's about the only way other than hitting on guys and girls. :frowning2:
     
  14. DexterMorgan

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    I don't really see it as a problem, I'll tell people what I am if they just ask. If not, it's fun to know that they think I'm straight.
     
  15. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    Go buy a rainbow shirt and assless chaps, jk XD

    Usually something small like a pride ring, pride keychain, or pride wristband can make it obvious, but also be small. There are also bi pride keychains and rings and whatnot.
     
  16. joeyconnick

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    What immediately popped into my head is you just wait until you see a really hot guy and then remark, "I'd totally let that guy fuck me hard!"

    :lol:
     
  17. WhiteFox

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    ..."Id totally fuck that guy hard" yes I will try that haha

    Fox
     
  18. Steve

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    just wear a small rainbow bracelet or whatever you want to call it you can keep being macho and practicly tell every one your bi/ gay. i have the same problem star basketball player in school cant be gay :frowning2:
     
  19. Katherine

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    You'd be surprised by how ignorant people can be.

    I never date guys or even talk about them. I cut my hair short. I openly participated in the Day of Silence last year. I've been wearing rainbow stuff all the time lately. I finally got the courage to buy a pride keychain a few months ago (it's a pride flag shaped into a peace sign) and I wear it on my purse every day. But for some reason, everyone who knows me is STILL convinced I'm straight. I've even tried to come out to people and have them automatically think I'm kidding.

    It honestly makes me wonder if standing up on a desk in the middle of class and screaming "I'M GAY!" would even register as a blip on anyone's radar. :eusa_doh:

    To be honest, just coming out properly might be the best option sometimes. I don't know how to make it any clearer other than hitting on every girl I see.
     
  20. joeyconnick

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    Let me know how it goes! :icon_bigg