Virgin forever?

You're 15. Slow down. I'm 19, and very inexperienced, but that doesn't bother me. I know men who didn't have sex until they were 24 or 25, and they don't regret it. Just be yourself, be open to meeting new people, and wait for it. Until then, be happy with your life as it is currently.

 

Yeah, I don't think you can worry about being a virgin forever when you're 15!! I'm 17 and a virgin. You're way ahead of me, being out to many people.

Personally, I'm okay with it 'cause I've never known any gay people. I've grown up in a tiny rural town (population: ~600) my entire life. Just last year I got my driver's license and changed to a school in a tiny city (6000 people maybe?? I don't know, actually). So, there I thought was the first possibility for me to find a gay person for a friend or, maybe, boyfriend. But, I didn't find anybody. My class has about 75 students. SO, there might be 7 or 8 gay people in it. Then, I'd have to get along with then, have similar interests, get to know them, have him come out to me, have me come to him, etc. etc. So, there's too many roadblocks for a population so small for me to find anybody.

No matter what your situation is, dont' worry about it.

I've worried about similar things like you. For example, I don't drink and I hate dancing. So, it would be ridiculous for me to go to a gay club. So, 'how am I ever going to meet anyone!?'. Basically, I've just stopped worrying so much. I'm 17 and still in school. Once I'm in university I'm going to join the gays and lesbians group and then I'll probably make some gay friends. And I'll see where that takes me. Until then, I'm just living happily and I accept that I'm a virgin still 'cause I'm a rare breed of person (namely, gay).

 

I was a virgin until the night of my 20th birthday... and then went on to have plenty of (very fun) sex with a variety of different people. So I don't think it's when you start, although I know that in high school that's the super-big deal. So chances are you probably will have sex sometime in your life, which you are (going by averages) only about 1/5 of the way through. You might even go to a gay club at some point.

Speaking of them, I know what people mean when they say, "Why would I ever go." However, I would encourage people to try it out. Not because I think clubs are fabulous and that they will make your life complete. On the contrary, they're not always that fun. But I think it's a bad idea to rule out doing something forevermore simply because of a by necessity stereotyped notion of what a gay club is. Some of the best times in my life have happened at clubs. So have some of the worst. It's more about what's going on in your life and your head than the venue.

And I guess I started on this because I used to hate dancing, too, and now I love it. And I'm really glad I was willing to try going to clubs a few times and got to figure that out.

 

<cliche mode>just don't rush it</mode> It's important with sex that you do it for the right reasons, not just for the heck of it, or just to try. You have to feel safe and good doing it. no matter what society says, I am 19, and my only sexual experience was with a girl five years ago. Since then I realized I was gay and started re-considering my whole 'sex' standard. I now know I don't want to have sex, unless it's with someone I love. <hiting myself comment>and since the one I love is youger.... illegally younger than me... I don't reckon I'll be doing it any time soon</comment>

About not being a follower, that's good, I like that. I'm like that myself, and I think that shows a certain kind of strength that not many people have. Even though it's hard sometimes, It feels good.

I am overweight as well, and I used to say I didn't care, and actually started to believe it a little. I was actually in dennial. I do care about it, and I know it's going to be hard to catch a guy's attention looking like this, and I know it's bad for my health. My father is diabetic, so I have risk of being as well. I started a diet and lost a lot of weight since three months ago, just when I started to feel better with myself (i.e. started to come out to my frinds). Also, I started one year ago to practice taekwondo, and I'm not going to say I'm good at it, but I train between two and four hours a day, five days a week. Sometimes less, sometimes more... but in average that's about it.

It makes me feel wonderful about myself, being able to jump and kick, to punch through a wooden board, and to sparr (sp?) with my mates, a feeling I wouldn't trade for anything. And tkd gave me something I needed... AC. It's because of him I started to come out, it's because of him I kept ot practicing, it's because of him I came to this forum. And now we have become good friends, though my feelings are never going to fully dissappear, I have him now as one of the things I appreciate the most: a friend.

I won't say anything about the gay clubs, because I used to say the same you do, but lately I've come to realize that I did so many things I said I'd never do... that at this point it's pointless (redundant!) to say I'll never bla bla.

Just hang in there... everything happens for a reason, and eventually you'll understand it. The fact that you are a virgin is part of the universe, a string, and that string is attached to countless things. Trust the balance.

Oh, yeah, sorry for this self-centered way-too-long reply... but It's been a while since I wrote here... =)

 

I know exactly how you feel, Jacob. I'm 15 also and think exactly the same as you do. My best friend has had A LOT of 'realtions', and that just makes me feel worse.

Again, exactly the same, but I just keep thinking to myself that if I don't, then I will stand little chance of meeting other guys. I've never known another gay person in my life. Well, my best friend is bi, but shes a girl...

It's so frustrating when you see people so close to you (i.e - my best friend) 'getting some', and then there's me, with nothing and no one. :icon_sad:

Anyway, that's enough about me... I'd take notice of what these people are saying, don't get frustrated and settle for second best. If I were you, I'd save it for someone who you feel comfortable with, and who you think really cares about you, the 'right' person. I'm sure you'll meet someone some day :icon_wink

 

Yes, these people really do exist, as in fact, I'm a 25 year old virgin. Don't sweat it, things will work out just fine.

 

I'm also a 25 year old virgin. When the time is right, it will happen.

 

Jacob, you are only 15! You don't need to be worrying about this right now. You are too young to be having sex anyway. I would say this to my gay kids and my straight kids. Just relax and have fun with life. Enjoy getting to know people.

 

I was 25 before my first time too. You've got a lot of opportunity ahead of you. Your world gets a lot bigger as you get older - trust me. There are other ways to meet people than at night clubs.

 

I guess a lot of people here who aren't 15 also don't remember what it's like to BE 15.

I can't actually say I remember a lot but I do remember that "wait until you're older" was never a very satisfactory response. :bang:

That being said, the point made about your world getting bigger as you get older, that's definitely true. And there are definitely other places to meet people than at a night club--but personally I'm not going to turn down a cute guy I happen to meet at one.

It's understandable you'd feel "behind" if people you hang around with are more experienced than you. But it's not something that will matter once you have had sex and a few years have gone by. In the interim, well... for one, people like to brag, so you might not be getting the full story. For two, bad sex can be way, way worse than no sex, so it's definitely worth waiting until the opportunity for good sex comes along. For three, some of the most satisfying orgasms you will have are ones you give yourself.

Probably the best advice is to figure out why you're having sex or wanting to have sex (beyond the hormone stuff). When you have it, you should have it because you are into the guy and really want to have it with them and think that it will a blast, not because you want to catch up in some contest. If your goal is to enjoy yourself and have fun and maybe even develop something close with a guy, you're much more likely to get that. If your goal is to dispell some fake "virginal status," it may very well feel like just another chore.

It would suck if because you felt bad about not having had any sexual experience you made bad choices. So... win at life by making the choices that are right for you! (I know, it sounds like it should be a slogan. *sigh*) Seriously though, make your choices for YOU, not for some imaginary group of people who are down on you because at 15 you haven't managed to meet another gay boy. And seriously (again) don't sleep with a guy just because he happens to be gay and available--sleep with someone you like and think is a decent human being. You'll feel better about yourself.

In the interim, remind your friend what a total slut he is and how he's too young to be having sex. :icon_bigg (Yes, last paragraph is joke, honest... but so funny!)

 

In case no one noticed, Jacob posted in 2005. I'd bet Jacob is no longer a virgin.

And Beckyg, you're a wonderful mom and I love your posts. But 15 is pretty average for the first sexual adventure according to a study released on Friday the 13th, 2007.

"For the report issued Friday, Mathematica Policy Research Inc. interviewed 1,200 teen-agers in rural and urban communities in Florida, Wisconsin, Mississippi and Virginia who had taken part in abstinence-only education programs four to six years before. They compared their behaviors to 800 similar students who had not taken part in abstinence-only programs.

They found few differences. About 25 percent in both groups had already had sex with three or more partners and 23 percent of both groups reported having had sex and always using a condom.

Teens in both groups reported they had first had sex at just under the age of 15 on average. :icon_wink

Advocates of more comprehensive sexual education in school said the report showed that abstinence-only programs, which got mandated federal funding starting in 1998, do not work and are a waste of money.

"The most striking thing to me as parent was that it showed the average age of sexual debut at 14.9," Wilson said. :eusa_clap

"Whether you think abstinence is best or comprehensive is better, we have to start facing as a nation that kids are starting to make these decisions at an (early) age."

 

Ya just don't worry about it. 15 is way too early anyway being str8 or gay. I didn't do it until i was 17 and that wasn't even on purpose it just happened and I wasn't ready. Lucky for me I came out of it with nothing but a bit of a sore butt. Just take your time and as for the whole fat thing, your 15 you probably still have some baby fat on you. Most teens do. You'll grow out of it. Though maybe do some running or w/e if you want, it can really help and helps your heart and body too.

 

ummm ...why do you and others say you are one age, but on here it shows something else ???

like you say you're 15, but next to your post it says you are 17 ...

and Aaron says he is 19, but next to his post it says 22 ...


what's up with that ???

 

these posts are a couple years old, they werent lying or anything. just outdated.

 

The stats of kid having sex (I just heard this I can't prove it) is about the same as the kids 20 years ago.

As lorenz said; this was posted in 2005

 

ohhhh haha I thought that too I got confused for a minute then just passed it off as ALOT of mistakes hehehe

 

I agree with that 10000%

I made some stupid mistakes a while back (and I'm 15, so I don't have that long to go back yet)
But definitely, hold on to it! Wait for the right guy to come along.
As to virgin forever? At 15? Nahh, if I were you, I'd say that's something to be proud of. I'd be proud to say it=(

 

I know kids have sex early. However, that doesn't mean its going to be good for them. I'll always encourage you young people to wait. I'm not stupid enough to believe that you'll all listen to me. That's why I'll always say if you can't wait, then at least use condoms. However, waiting is better. Even the sex is better when its with someone you care about or love rather than some just random person because you no longer want to be a virgin. Being a virgin isn't a bad thing. We should get rid of the stigma attached to it!

 

I'm 20 going on 21 and still a virgin...there is nothing wrong with waiting for the right time.