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Omg Soooooo

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Beachboi92, Jul 30, 2009.

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  1. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    ok so i told my bro i was bi he told his GF somewhere int he translation she decided i was gay and also told me to dress more gay to pick up guys lol, somehow we came up on the conversation of katy perry who i had searched on my bros comp to show him that i think she is a hot girl, and zooey Dascheal to but thats a different story. So they get in a big argument cause she doesn't believe i looked it up cause she sais "why would your gay brother look that up" i mean this is partly a rant but i just don't know how to deal with this i am not gay i am bi but when people misconstrued it what do you do? she doesn't think i come off as gay and i like to keep a more masculine image just because i don't wanna become all girly, i am just not into that. I am just lost cause i feel like people do not believe i am bi they think i am gay like bi doesn't exist and i even think my mom thinks i am trying to ease her into it.... I mean i guess i gave off signals cause i have been more open about my attraction to men lately since coming out while i was never that open about women. I am just confused and do not know how to deal with this whole situation:help:
    btw i know it is a stupid thing for them to get in an argument about she thinks he is lying about looking up girls and is pissed cause he won't tell the truth it is just retarded i just wanna know how i can make this any more clear than just saying it, and without forcing myself to start dating some random girl : /
     
    #1 Beachboi92, Jul 30, 2009
  2. seadog

    seadog
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    Sweet! Let them eat Cake! Tell 'em you are you, regardless of labels and categories. I don't think folks even here at EC agree that you are bi if you are not 100% exclusively homosexual. Tell 'em you like some gals, and you like some guys. Not all gals, and not all guys. Tell 'em to come up with their own label for you. Way to go, bananna pants!
     
    #2 seadog, Jul 30, 2009
  3. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    also any hints to how to make myself look more approachable without being to obvious for guys, i mean i guess i come off as completely straight cause i wear skaterish and surfer stuff and only own one pair of tight jeans that i hardly wear haha and i don't sound or act flamboyant. I get how a gay guy would go about it but how do you do it when you are bi D:
     
    #3 Beachboi92, Jul 30, 2009
  4. Jekko

    Jekko
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    im one of those people who don't believe in being bi. i like guys but sometimes i get confused and like girls on an emotional level but still. even i think katy perry is hot.. -_-
     
    #4 Jekko, Jul 30, 2009
  5. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    but your orientation is bi so how do you not believe in it :confused: anyways i think that there is a bell curve in genetics for sexual attraction on each end you have super hetero and super homo then all sorts of variations in the middle. I also think Bisexuality receives almost equal discrimination from the gay community as we are viewed as in denial for not wanting to come all the way. People who say that to me are offensive for one, for two they are counterproductive to the ideals they have been fighting for by attempting to deny someone else a choice in sexuality. I know u probably didn't mean to offend but i needed to rant and it is a big pet peeve of mine.
     
    #5 Beachboi92, Jul 30, 2009
  6. Jekko

    Jekko
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    yea i use it as satire lolz

    I didn't mean to be harsh or disrepctful but it's my belief. I don't think i'm being counterproductive because i'm still fighting for equal rights meaning that even though i don't believe in bisexuality it doesn't mean i don't support equality.. i do. SO in the long run i;ll be voting yes on bisexuality if that makes sense.
     
    #6 Jekko, Jul 30, 2009
  7. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    yeah i'm sorry i just get worked up and ranty cause being bi i'm already haveing to deal with the are u sure u are sure are u sure u aren't gay are u sure u aren't straight and it drives me nuts. I mean yeah i am attracted to guys more easily but i know plenty of girls i'd love to date and do more to :wink: not as many as i do guys but still :grin: i think of bi as simply never looking at a gender to base a relationship. Gender blind so to speak which is just like me since i am very much a on the fence, make a deal/compromise, middle of the road kind of guy
     
    #7 Beachboi92, Jul 30, 2009
  8. Jekko

    Jekko
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    well in that case, you should'nt label yourself.. you just tell them "whoever I end up with will determine what you think of me."
     
    #8 Jekko, Jul 30, 2009
  9. Shevanel

    Shevanel
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    ... that's not what your sexuality is about dude.
     
    #9 Shevanel, Jul 30, 2009
  10. Jekko

    Jekko
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    ^ omg leave me alone
     
    #10 Jekko, Jul 30, 2009
  11. Shevanel

    Shevanel
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    For Being wrong? I'm sorry, I cannot do that.
     
    #11 Shevanel, Jul 30, 2009
  12. Jekko

    Jekko
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    ^i'm not going to argue with you, i'm better than that.
     
    #12 Jekko, Jul 30, 2009
  13. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    Bisexuality is as valid as homosexuality and heterosexuality, we find traits that attract us in either and can form an emotional connection regardless of sex. We have standards for men and women still there is a sexual attraction. Being Bi does not mean you need to be half and half if you can find yourself attracted to women and men you are bisexual :grin:
     
    #13 Beachboi92, Jul 30, 2009
  14. djt820

    djt820
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    Youre better than what? You come into a thread where a kid needs advice and you lash on his orientation. You are causing trouble and its totally uncalled for. If you dont believe bisexuality exists, Fine. Confine your arguments to another thread. What this kid needs is Advice and you are not helping his situation.
     
    #14 djt820, Jul 30, 2009
  15. Beachboi92

    Beachboi92
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    thank you
     
    #15 Beachboi92, Jul 31, 2009
  16. Martin

    Martin
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    Rightio,

    That's enough. This thread isn't for the discussion of opinions towards bisexuality, nor is it an opportunity for peeps to get their lynching gear out. This is in the Support and Advice section, and discussions towards the validity of a sexuality isn't offering anything to the threads intended purpose.

    However, this does not give other members the right to start using the wall or any area of the site to bitch about a member because of their posts. If you disagree with them then that is your right, but a disagreement does not need to get spread forumwide because members want to reinforce their disagreement. If you disagree with a post then good for you, but none of the staff want to follow arguments around the site because members aren't mature enough to handle their disagreements sensibly.

    Just end it there. Nobody continue the bisexuality argument here, and nobody use the wall for rule breaking. Everybody can just get on with using the site for its intended purpose then.
     
    #16 Martin, Jul 31, 2009
  17. djt820

    djt820
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    Anyways, I think things will righty themselves up if you just explain yourself. Thoroughly and calmly.
     
    #17 djt820, Jul 31, 2009
  18. Jekko

    Jekko
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    Thank You!
     
    #18 Jekko, Jul 31, 2009
  19. Chip

    Chip
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    I think your own discussion about the bell curve is applicable here; a lot of straight people who don't have a lot of exposure to the LGBT community have a very hard time understanding the nuances of sexuality as being on a continuum. So, short of explaining about the Kinsey scale and the continuum, I think it might be a challenge to get across to your friends what you truly feel, at least in a way they can relate to.

    One way to explain it might be to tell them you are attracted to the spirit or personality of an individual, and it doesn't really matter to you whether they are male or female. Another might be to just say "Look, maybe it's a difficult concept, but I don't have a strongly defined preference for one sex like you do, I feel attraction to both men and women, and I'd appreciate if you identify me in that way rather than lumping me into the category of "gay."

    I will make one other suggestion: You might explore within yourself, why it's so upsetting to you to be labeled by someone as gay. If you think about it, as long as *you* know what you are, why does it matter, in the grand scheme of things, what someone else (inaccurately) thinks? Would you be equally upset if they labeled you as straight? If not, why not? I'm not challenging your self-identification, but instead suggesting that perhaps you're putting a lot of psychic energy into something that, really, shouldn't be that big a deal, particularly if the person simply seems uneducated abuot the differences between gay men and bisexual men. And perhaps, by exploring it, you can understand more about yourself and come to a better level of self-awareness.
     
    #19 Chip, Jul 31, 2009
  20. fallendream

    fallendream
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    its probably been said but;

    avoid labels, you don't have to prove you're bisexual, gaysexual, kermit-the-frog-sexual...it doesn't matter, as for dressing gay, if stereotypes tell me anything she wants you to run around in a leather thong covered in diamonds - the outcome of wearing this? youll notice when its inside out :slight_smile:

    but seriously, just ignore them, do you prove to people who call you a girl that you're a man?

    its the same thing.
     
    #20 fallendream, Jul 31, 2009
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