1. I'd like advice on how to help my brother break away from a toxic friendship. If you know anything about personality disorders, I truly think his friend is a cluster B. He has been friends with her for a long time, he is literally her only friend. I am not exaggerating when I say I do not know anyone who likes her - my whole family can't stand her. I heard him talking on the phone last night to a friend saying he is done with her and has been trying to get rid of her for a long time. But she harrasses him by calling him a lot, and being super dramatic. To give you an idea of how vile she is, when she went with my brother to visit the garden my mom volunteers at she had no problem saying "what kind of bullshit gardening job is this?" Also, when my mom tells my brother he has to do a chore before leaving to hang out with her, she will say "No he doesn't, he can do it later." When we had a house fire a while ago (house is OK btw) she never called my brother, and when approached by him said it wasn't a big deal. She has ZERO respect for anyone, let alone adults. Her parents admit she is a big time liar, but are apathetic to her antics. She also tries to divide my brother from his other friends and family by making up lies and un-needed drama. My mom, dad, siblings and I are SO excited that my brother finally wants to dump this toxic friendship, for the longest time my brother would defend her psychoness. Okay sooooo ranting and venting aside, my how can I help my brother? I personally think he is having trouble admitting she is a nutter butter to us because he knows we dislike her. She is stressing him out and his hair is falling out. Should I just stand back and let things progress naturally and be there is he needs me? And on a completely unrelated note.... My friend introduced me to a very nice, cute [gay] boy who goes to college 20-30 minutes away from where I will go to college. I have only talked to him once and already have this uber crush on him. He is also only the 2nd "out" gay person I have met in real life. My "problem" is really kinda silly, and thats that I blush SO easily. Even when I don't feel embarrassed, I will blush easily if I like someone or for no reason. wtf is up with that? I guess I get embarrassed that I blush easily, or am worried I will blush and that he'll be like "omg I just met you, why are you blushing." Not to mention, I kind of feel like a weirdo for having a crush on someone I met once (we're hanging out today though). Thats all I think...thanks so much for reading and advice! (*hug*)
Ignore her. Tell everyone to ignore her and she may realize why people dislike her and hopefully change. You could ask him why he considers her a friend even though she seems quite heartless. If it's because she is really only his sole friend then maybe you have to help get to know other people if he's willing to ditch her. As for the blushing thing lol. I dunno how I can help. I have the same problem and blush when I'm in front of class, strangers and everything... Maybe once you get comfortable with them then the blushing would stop. And um have fun with your crush today lol (!)
See, I don't need to tell anyone to dislike her because no one else literally does like her. She has always been like this, I promise 100% this is who she is as a human being. In her eyes the world has a problem, never her. He does have a lot of friends now that he's started breaking away from her And thanks! ^_^
You brother has to get rid of her in his own way, there is no one way to do it. Also i doubt he'll notice the blushing and if someone says something tell them your face is always red, since it's kinda true? I dunno, it's not gonna be a huge thing to anyone i guess and if it is then why bother with them?
well i'd say that the brother thing like someone else said ignore her. It is like a stray animal that wanders into your yard just don't feed it or pay attention to it and it goes away. As for the blushing thing i can't think of a reason why anyone would be bothered by it. If anything he would find it cute or something imo (*hug*) hope your crush goes well
thanks guys ^_^ I pretty much do ignore her...it's just hard to watch her be a turd from the sidelines. But yeah, he's def working through getting ride of her. (*hug*)
The friend thing can be annoying. I had a friend like that last year and finally got rid of her. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. lol As for the blushing thing, i don't know how to help lol. I have the same problem. But i don't think you need to worry to much about him saying anything mean or whatever. He sounds nice and i hope everything works out. =)
It sounds like your brother has been her friend in part because he feels bad for her and knows that no one else likes her. So if that's the case, the challenge will be, for him, simply setting the boundary and saying "I'm done." Since he now sees the light, the biggest obstacle will be helping him realize that she will no doubt pull out every stop and be as manipulative and dramatic as possible to try and pull him back to her. So whomever has the best relationship with him should gently and non-judgementally talk to him about this, and say that it's in his best interest to just let go of this friendship, no matter what she says or does, no matter how dramatic she gets, no matter whether she threatens to harm herself or whatever. Help him think about what possible actions she might take to pull him back in, and what healthy responses would be... for example, if she says she's going to kill herself, to calmly say that he is going to call her parents or call police, or something like that where he shows that he is willing to take appropriate steps to help her while still keeping his distance and not becoming enmeshed in whatever her drama is This will, of course, make her very angry... but that isn't his problem. And realistically, it's very possible that by setting these boundaries and not interacting with her any more, it might stimulate enough of a desire in her to examine her behaviors and get help.
