Here's my problem: I would like a boyfriend, but I can't find one. The main problem is that all of the gay/bi guys I know don't really care about meaningful relationships, but I do. I don't really want sex. I want a close relationship with a guy who I can be honest with. I want to cuddle, I want to kiss, but I don't want sex. All the gay guys I know are the exact opposite of this. I am involved in clubs in my school (even the GSA), which everyone tells me is the best way to make friends and meet partners, but it hasn't worked for me. I have gotten a lot of good friends, but no relationships. Perhaps the biggest obstacle towards me getting a relationship is that every other aspect of my life is just how I want it. I have a lot of friends, I'm popular, I'm in all honors classes, I'm a high-honors student, I have great relationships with my parents, and I'm just plain happy. There's basically no void in my life that can only be filled by another person. So I basically have two questions. 1. What's a good way to enter a meaningful relationship with another guy? 2. Is the fact that I'm not desperate for a relationship a bad thing or a good thing? If you have any questions for me that could help you answer my questions, ask away.
Well I can't help you with the first one, as the gay community where I live only seem to want sex too :/ But it's a good hting that you're not desperate. Being picky(to an extent) is going to be important in finding the right person.[=
Personally, I think you're in a better place right now than you might think. It sounds to me as though you are in a position to be somewhat selective as to who your significant other will be, meaning that if you find someone that seems right, because you can be selective, chances are they will be a better choice. However, there is also the consideration that if you set your standards too high, which you are in a position to do, you might exempt some otherwise great candidates. I wish you the best of luck.
You sound well rounded. you dont have to match what you want and feel to what you see others do. If you are looking for meaningful relationship in your area. perhaps you could post an ad or something in your area, and see if anyone responds with similar. In the past when I have really really liked someone, for some reason I found myself putting the brakes on and just involved in cuddling and light fooling around for a few weeks and then gone further later. These relationships tended to last a long time. You can get with someone without having to have sex. just say no, if he is interested enough in you, then he will be interested in being with you and getting to know you. It is ok to think this way.
Thanks for the advice and reassurance, guys. Hopefully I'll be able to find a good relationship knowing what I know now.
It's great that you are in such a good place in your life. Keep waiting for the right one to come along, they are definitely out there (I found one!). It is so incredibly worth it to have a truly meaningful relationship, to be with someone who you can trust and be yourself with. I am also a big fan of cuddling and kissing, and my boyfriend and I have been taking it slow and steady. 2 months tomorrow!
1. What's a good way to enter a meaningful relationship with another guy? Make sure he knows thats what you want, a relationship is a two way thing. Both people get to have decisions. 2. Is the fact that I'm not desperate for a relationship a bad thing or a good thing? Good thing! I'm hardly ever interested in a relationship and you gotta remember being single means you can have all you're money to yourself. =D Good luck champ, hope you find another gamer guy. ;P
If you want a relationship with Mr Right my advice is stop looking, then just one day you will realise that the guy that you've been friends with for a while is the one. Whilst you are looking your expectations a only focused on one area, a relationship/friendship cannot be ordered like take away food it requires work from both sides and is something that will happen but like all things it will have to go through a process, you are looking at the end of a process without willing to learn all the steps, expectations and disappointments along the way. Me I'd love to find Mr Right but he also has to want to find me, hope this makes sense. Dont worry it will happen in due course. greg
I agree with Greg though i have never been in a relationship before. I believe that similar things attract each other. So be yourself and you and the guy who is looking the same thing as you are will find each other
I totally agree. I wich i could find someone that i could talk to, cuddle when wtching a movie, kiss, hold hands,a dn just feel safe in their arms and stuff with out all teh sex. Obviously that will come but im looking to take it slow, and their are other ways of pleasuring each other with out having to have sex or mouths (if you get what i mean lol). But anyways, im excited for university next year becasue there is a lot of people i can meet and maybe ill find someone.
I agree with Greg too, you shouldn't look too hard, i'm not saying give up, but let time pass and eventually u will meet someone that wants the same things u do :icon_wink As for not being desperate, that's a good thing, don't hurry yourself to find someone cause what will probably happen is that the person you find isn't compatible with u
I agree with them ^ So yeah, let time pass by and soon, your prayers will be answered. and it's ok that you're not desperate. shows you want someone for them, not just thier bod.
Agreed! If its going to happen for anyone, its going to happen to you - someone that is grounded, happy, comfortable being themself!!! And not being desperate for a relationship is the BEST way to be! For sure. Remember that you're still young, and still in highschool. You're 'world' gets a lot bigger as you get older - going to university is probably where you'll be exposed to more things than ever before, and be able to find even more people that have similar interests to you. My best friends are the ones I met in university - because that's where I was able to meet people that had similar interests and goals as me. Good luck!
I want to have a meaningful relationship. I'd love to cuddle and kiss my man. I want him to be my friend as well as my lover. But I'd expect him to have sex with me too, although I also expect the relationship to be much more than just sex. In my opinion sex is a must - but it has to be meaningful.
