While I have just recently come to terms with probably outing myself and hoping to live a more full life as a gay person, today I came across this thread of comments at another website. I am constantly switching between thinking being out is going to make me happier, and of course the shit I will likely have to endure because of it. Its a constant battle back and forth in my mind what I want to do. Mostly since I found this site, but I found this place because I guess I was finally ready to accept that my life as I am living at the moment isn't what I really want. The lonleyness and worry about what people think is slowly doing my head in. But that is usually only in my darkest hours and really, most of the time I quite enjoy being who I am and not being out. I posted a thread the other day about a friend texting me asking if I was gay after a fairly long conversation, and it kind of freaked me out at the time, but it was pretty funny in hindsight seeing as I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I nervously wanted to push the issue but she said she was joking in the end when she rang back after my reply. So anyway, theres some really good debate going on in the comments section of this thread. Be interested in your thoughts. http://www.planetout.com/lifestyle/2009/07/outting-gays.html#more
There are sadly plenty of places where being out isn't much of an option. I'm especially thinking of countries where being gay is still a crime. It can be also be problematic in smaller areas of more accepting countries, including the US, Canada, the UK and (yes) Australia. But at least there an option is available - moving to a more accepting part of the country. I can't think of a single person who came out who really regretted it. The process of coming out may have been painful. They might not have come out in an ideal way or time. And they might have regretted it immediately afterwards, longing for the comfort and familiarity of the closet. But as time goes on, it seems people get used to the idea, and grow to appreciate life as an gay'n'out person. To me, coming out is simply something to get beyond. It doesn't have to be some "empowering" move, or a "gay pride" thing (although it can be). It's just a process by which you let everyone know. Where you can look at guys, date guys, have sex with guys, get into relationship with guys...without having to worry about who knows, or what they'll think. Because at that point, they DO know. And whatever they think, they're still your friends. Lex
Coming out is coming to terms with yourself, realizing you are ok, and then beginning to live honestly. It's tough but its sooo worth it. You might regret it at first, but give it time. It's the best decision I've ever made
Thats pretty much how I feel. I don't want it to be some magical thing, I just want to be me without the constant dodging and weaving of why I don't have a girlfriend or am not married.
